Bret: So, how long did you stay?
Me: Long enough to finish my popcorn.
Bret: That bad?
Me: The worst!
Bret: Worst of the year?
Me: Maybe the decade. I don't have the verbal skills to describe how horrible this steaming pile of shit is! This is the worst film of the year, no question because for one, IT'S NOT A FILM. It's bad propaganda pretending to be a film. It's badly filmed and badly acted and badly cast and badly written. The only actress who could have made this crap work is Judi Dench. If she had played all three roles then maybe they could've gotten away with just a well-acted bad script. But this goes down in a blaze of glory. The worst acting since Cary Elwes in Saw 1. I've never seen Meryl Streep work so hard to try to create a character. She tries sooooo hard. It's painful to watch an actress of her ability working so hard. And the script is stiffer than plywood. And it doesn't have an original thought in its brain. And it looks like it was filmed over one week on no budget. And the worst part is the actors do this weird, smiling thing they've all clearly been directed to do. They all SMILE at each other the whole time, like they just had sex or got drunk! It's fucking creepy. And they sit across desks and talk, talk, talk. Blab, blab, blab. It feels like those infomercial/interview shows that are supposed to feel like a real conversation but they're so badly acted you can't even watch them.
Bret: So how long did you last?
Me: Maybe 30 minutes, tops. Maybe 25. And it gets better. Before the film they show a horrible trailer for a ridiculous looking film called Valkyrie, starring Tom Cruise, in an eye patch. I laughed out loud when he said with a straight face, "We have to kill Hitler!!!" LOL I don't even know why it makes me laugh but it does. Tom Cruise has to kill Hitler! Is this a parody or something??? Tell me I'm dreaming! The trailer makes me howl. And it looks like a comic book. Cruise even looks like Superman with his wavy hairdo. This trailer is vile. I predict horrible reviews and zero box office. You heard it here first kids. Hitler will get the last laugh.
1 comment:
LOL
I couldn't agree more.
LIONS FOR LAMBS is a flat, preachy litany of 5-year-old political observations.
It's not really a story; it's not really a movie.
Where were the Apathetic Youths of America that Robert Redford was preaching to?
They weren't in his audience. The audience I was with consisted of a dozen liberals over 25 who always follow these issues closely and heard brighter bulbs than Redford make these complaints before the Iraq war.
If Redford wanted to shake America out of its apathy and reach the tuned-out, he should have made an exciting movie.
If he wanted to impress the politically active, he should have exposed something new and maybe offered solutions for a change.
I have never thought of Redford as a good director. He's a good actor, but ORDINARY PEOPLE was trite and QUIZ SHOW wasn't good because of him, per se.
He's a pretty shallow primadonna who repeats liberal cliches but brings nothing new to the table; in the realm of cinematic art OR politics.
And poor Meryl Streep — it's her second flat, political sermon in a row.
These people mean well, but they've forgotten to tell a story.
Post a Comment