I'm an antique! Who knew?

My friend Billy Masters sent me this today! Funny to see it today because I noticed an extra amount of gray hairs in my temples. I'm feeling like an antique, myself. Time flies! I have a million of these "antique books" aka Making Porn Playbills. So if I sold each one for 45 dollars that would be 45 million dollars! I'm in the wrong bizness. On a sad note. And this is pretty sad, but my only happy memory of Making Porn in NY was the day it closed. Isn't that awful? A year and half. All I remember was the constant conflict. I'm sure there were many wonderful days but I don't recall very many. I loved doing the show in LA. It was a blast but NY was sooooo much drama. I couldn't imagine doing a show like that now with each cast member having a blog to vent on after the show...would probably be very interesting, actually. I've thought about how different it would be to do shows now with web cams and blogs and camera phones and video each night. At least if there were problems you'd have cool footage for YouTube. ANTIQBOOK
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Ask a question or Order this book Browse our books Search our books Book dealer info	LARSEN, RONNIE (WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY), Making Porn - Playbill - May 1997 - Vol. 97 - No. 5. New York: Actors' Playhouse, 1997. Softcover. IN B/W & COLOR. - B/W COVER PHOTO. - "MAKING PORN" - STARRING: JESSICA ALEXANDER - JOHN CANTWELL - JOSHUA CARY - SONNY MARKHAM - ROB MILLER - PETER NEVARGIC, ETC...ETC... - TIME: THE PLAY BEGINS IN THE EARLY EIGHTIES. - PLACE: SAN FRANCISCO. ; 8vo ; 66 pages. F. Offered for US$ 45.00 by: Julian's Books - Book number: 99513

Jerry Herman saves the world!

Jerry Herman, who once threatened to sue me (for making a dirty joke about him in my play Making Porn) and then came to see the play in Palm Springs and graciously met with the cast afterwards, has spoken out about WALL E and the way his music is featured, pivotally, in the Pixar masterpiece! It's interesting to me to see a Broadway musical play such a huge part in a popular futuristic sci-fi epic. Maybe the theatre isn't dead, after all.
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Hello, WALL•E, Sings Jerry Herman, Who Loves Use of His 44-Year-Old Songs in the Movie
By FRANK RIZZO | Courant Staff Writer
July 1, 2008


Wall•e (Disney/PIXAR)

Can a musical comedy save the world? Well, it certainly helps, according to the new Pixar animated film "WALL•E," which opened nationwide this weekend and brought in $62.5 million at the box office, making it the No. 1 film in America.

Two songs from "Hello, Dolly!" — "Put on Your Sunday Clothes" and "It Only Takes a Moment" — are pivotal in the film's story about a little robot, the only sign of "life" (not counting a friendly cockroach) left on a devastated and abandoned Earth 700 years in the future.

What keeps the resourceful robot going is not just his recharging solar plates but a videotape from the 1969 film "Hello, Dolly." The songs feature Michael Crawford, Marianne MacAndrew and — if you look closely in the chorus — Tommy Tune. ( Barbra Streisand, who starred in the film, is not featured in the "WALL•E" clips.)

The feel-good song "Sunday Clothes" lifts the robot's spirits as he goes on his programmed daily drudgery. The romantic ballad "It Only Tales a Moment" reminds him of contact with another entity, which is missing from his lonely life.


Video

Related links
Movie trailer: 'WALL-E" Video
Jerry Herman Photo
'Wall-E' Photos
'WALL•E' A Stunning, Funny Parable
Finding WALL•E, 14 Years Later
No Humans: Filmmakers Fascinated About What Comes Next

When Jerry Herman, composer of the Broadway musical, saw "WALL•E" Sunday night in Los Angeles, he was stunned.

"It really blew me away," Herman said in a telephone interview Monday. "You're talking to someone still in a haze. I couldn't believe how beautifully the songs expressed the entire intent of the film."

Herman, who turns 77 next week, said he was not aware of how the songs were going to be used and expected them to be featured briefly as background music.

Instead, the film opens with a shot of the universe and the voice of Crawford singing the opening lines, "Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers ...," followed by most of the rest of the upbeat song as the robot goes on his daily routine

"I'll tell you that the seat I was in will never be the same," Herman says. "I clutched those two arm rests. I was so thrilled and moved. What a wonderful use — to show a desolate world contrasted with the joy of those lyrics.

"The amazing thing for me is that two songs from a show that certainly was iconic in its day — or still is — will now have a more permanent place in history because of this movie, which is probably going to be the film of the year."

Does he feel vindicated that his songs, sometimes dismissed as too sunny, will live on?

"It made me doubly pleased to have written songs of optimism and joy," Herman says. "They call me the eternal optimist. Well, that's what the world needed after the assassination of Kennedy [before the Broadway show opened in January 1964] and what the world needs now."

Herman predicts this will heighten interest in a Broadway revival of "Hello, Dolly!"

"I've been thinking about it, and there are several ladies — stars — I am already playing in my head to cast."

"To have 'Dolly!" blooming again now," he says, "is like having an orchid plant suddenly, unexpectedly coming back to life."

Herman says that after leaving the cineplex, filled with joy, he turned to his goddaughter and sang, "Well, well, hello, WALL•E!"

Contact Frank Rizzo at rizzo@courant.com.

My Boyfriend the Stripper

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The Birth of Me

Today, I was asked by my good friend, Vincent Lambert, of VincentLambert.com about the first porn movie I ever saw, so I figured today was a good day to "come clean" about my humble beginnings. Here goes:

Truly, Vincent, no one knows this but I was actually born in a porno theatre in Times Square. My birth mother, who was 9 months pregnant with me, was on a date with my Dad. They were seeing the late showing of Throat, (the prequel to Deepthroat). This was before George Lucas made prequels so popular. It was also before adult film preservation, hence, Throat has been lost to history. But, anyway...

My parents loved porn theaters, in fact, he loved theater in general. My Dad was actually a Shakespearean actor and was appearing as a spear carrier in King Lear at the Winter Garden Theater.

Anyway, during Throat, my Mommas water broke and I gushed out, naked, on to the cold sticky floor, opened my eyes and the first images I ever saw was of a girl giving a guy a BJ and thus began my humble life. True story.

The combination of afterbirth, porn and salty popcorn burned my corneas but I couldn't close my eyes. Whenever I visit a porn theatre now I feel, in a way, like I'm going home, like I'm returning to the womb. Adult theatre patrons feel like distant cousins to me. So, yes, I was the first baby ever born in a Times Square porn theatre and the first porn movie I ever saw was, Throat. The life-long effect is obvious to anyone who knows me.

Consequently, the unwanted fame was too much for my birth mother to handle and so she gave me up for adoption and I was raised by loving Mormons in Bakersfield, California.

Anyway, Vincent, thanks for letting me share my story on your big hit blog. I love you, man.

PS This can all be verified by Googling the words: Porn, Times Square, baby, afterbirth, Larsen, sad, cornea.

Making Porn in Utah?

Bret,

I'm back home now. Zion was lovely. Truly. But I'm happy to be back in Oceanside, the Marines missed me! lol

Anyway, I think there was talk of doing Making Porn in Salt Lake City at some theater with the word Rose in it, Rose Waggoner, I think. But it was decided that the show would be too much for the city to deal with so it never came to be. But I've always had a secret fantasy of doing Making Porn in Utah and looking for "trouble" during the day.

Anyway, feel free to send your contact my way: Producer@RonnieLarsen.com

And by the way, what part of Utah do you live in? Did you already tell me this? And what did you think of 1408? And do you meet lots of Mormon men?

Auditions

Do you live in Detroit? Wanna be in a play? I'm not involved so it should be lots of fun! LOL
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AUDITIONS: Making Porn
Who Wants Cake? Theatre is pleased to announce that auditions
for The Ringwald's final summer season show, Making Porn, will take place on
Saturday, June 30th from 4-7PM. Auditions will be by appointment at The
Ringwald Theatre (22742 Woodward Ave, Ferndale).

For more information as well as to sign up for an audition time,
please visit our website's audition page at the Who Wants Cake? website:

www.WhoWantsCakeTheatre.com
__________________________

Very Sad News

This was just sent to me from my good friend, Billy Masters of BillyMasters.com


IN a sad story, we ask all readers to pray for opera legend Beverly Sills. Two weeks ago, Sills had a routine check-up and was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and given about a month to live. Amazingly, this woman went home and calmly started getting things in order for her children, along with taking care of other personal affairs. All the while, she told virtually no one of her diagnosis and prognosis.

That all changed a week ago, when she fell and broke two ribs. Hospitalized and in excruciating pain, doctors discovered that the cancer had spread to her thyroid, lymphnodes and lungs - as expected. From her hospital, she is still fighting, trying to make provisions for her daughter Muffy who lives with her, and battle some step-kids who are already sniffing around the estate.

A horrible kind of situation to bring you as an exclusive, but there you go. We'll keep you posted.

Do I Love Leslie Mitts?

For a brief while, 17 years ago, Leslie Mitts and Ronnie Larsen were married. This is short clip of them singing to each other.

Leslie, is this crazy or what??? Can you believe it's been 17 years? How the hell are you? I miss you, Golde.

Theater News!

Company wins Best Revival on Broadway! Congratulations!!!!

Oh wait....

This just in: Company will be closing in two weeks due to weak ticket sales.

That is seriously fucked up!!!

In Hollywood, an Oscar win guarantees you millions more at the box office but on Broadway, a Tony award win means you'll be closed in two weeks. So ridiculous!

Tony Awards Part 2: Tom Hulce

I am NOT making fun of Tom Hulce. I LOVED Hulce in Amadeus. I still remember the Bakersfield movie theater I saw it in. I remember walking out and being blown away by the film. I'm thrilled Hulce won a Tony as a producer last night. But I'd be lying if said I wasn't intrigued by his physical transformation. Amadeus was a long time ago but NOT THAT LONG...well, 1984...23 years ago. Now he looks like he's ready to play King Lear. Maybe he will, maybe he should. I'd buy a ticket...as long as they produce it in Oceanside.

Tony (not Soprano)

I loved the Tony's last night. The show felt tight. The winners seemed overjoyed. The numbers were appealing. The video montages were well put together. I just thoroughly enjoyed the whole evening. I don't really understand Spring Awakening but I've never been interested in shows about teen angst unless they're written by Shakespeare. And Coast of Utopia looks beautiful but I ain't sitting thru no 9 hour show no matter how many awards it gets. BUT, I really enjoyed the Tony show. My favorite comment of the night was Duncan Sheik referring to the "casualities" left behind during the production process. Creating theater is often a very ugly business and that's the one thing you don't hear while watching the Tony awards so I found the Duncan Sheik comment refreshingly honest. I was reminded, too, how "unbeautiful" stage actors look in close-up. Of course, there are no close-ups in the theater so stage actors don't have to be beautiful; they just have to have faces that communicate. So did the awards show make me want to jump on a plane and go see a Broadway show? No. Well, maybe a little. And that's a start.

Gimme A Break!

I'm surprised this isn't a bestseller in Los Angeles and New York considering how many dummies, uh, I mean, actors there are in those cities. I just bought 100 copies for a few of my closest acquaintances.

Breaking News

The Tony Nominations have just been announced.

Best Play
Coast of Utopia ( 9 hours long! I'm not kidding.)
The Little Dog Laughed (the little dog closed)
Radio Golf (my nominee for worst title of the year)
Frost/Nixon (I'd like to see this)

Best Musical
Spring Awakening (too hip for me)
Curtains (hopefully not a prophetic title)
Grey Gardens (I'd like to see this)
Mary Poppins (Finally, a musical for the whole family! Tickets for four kids and two adults will only set you back $1,050.00)

Get your tickets quick! Most of these shows will NOT be playing a year from now. Sad but true. But it's an honor just to be nominated, even if your show does lose 15 million dollars.

On a serious note, they really must start doing Broadway pay-per view and DVD sales. Truly! These shows need every dollar they can generate. Why can't the idiotic, greedy union people figure out to how get this done. Boxing on pay-per view is a goldmine. Why not theater????

The Theater

First some trivia. This is a pic of production on The Color Purple before it opened on Broadway. I actually saw the show in previews and sat in the front row, center section, right on the aisle. Can you picture me there? I predicted the show would close after 6 months but it's still playing and making money. So what the fuck do I know? Take everything I say with a grain of salt!
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Anyway, on with the blog:

1. The Times reported today that 80% of the shows currently on Broadway have not yet recouped and most probably won't. This is news only to someone who does NOT follow theater.

2. My brother-in-law called me to find out how to get tickets to Jersey Boys without spending 200-400 dollars a piece. Yes, tickets are now topping out at 400 a piece.

3. Joan Collins and Linda Evans recently toured together in a play and during interviews fawned over each other but now that the play has closed they are publicly declaring what a nightmare it was working together. Did I mention the show got scathingly bad reviews?

This, Ladies and Gentleman, is all you need to know about working in the theater.

Most shows lose money.
Tickets are waaaaay too expensive.
Stars are a pain in the ass.
Critics hate TV stars who do theater.
Most actors hate each other by the time the show closes.

And that concludes today's seminar on working in the theater. I hope you enjoyed it.

More Theater Stuff

I snapped this on my cam phone last year. It's the billboard for the big Broadway flop, Lestat. Yes, they made a musical about the vampire Lestat, but Tom Cruise wasn't in it. The poster featured these prophetic words: Die Young On Broadway. Whoever designed this billboard is either an idiot, a prankster, or a fortune teller.


"A big Broadway show guaranteed to run for six months!" Sandra Bernhard

Speaking of Jersey Boys!

I'm not attracted to actors but these boys make me want to join a boy band! My brother-in law wants to see Jersey Boys and after seeing this pic, I do too.

And I Am Telling You

The great theater song And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going, is both a blessing and curse. If you sing it well, audiences will love you and leap to their feet and give you awards. But if you sing it too well, if you make too big a mark with it, if you really own it, it will own you as well. Jennifer Holliday who basically "created" the song has never escaped it's grasp and now it seems LaKisha has suffered the same fate. Nothing Lakisha sang on American Idol equalled the power of her singing "that song" in an early episode. She blew us away when she sang it but then everything since has been a letdown. Lakisha's journey on Idol is a mirror of the career of Jennifer Holiday and possibly Jennifer Hudson, who won an Oscar for singing it. It will be interesting to see if unlike Jenifer Holliday, Lakisha and Hudson can escape the pull of that powerful song, but I have my doubts. Will Hudson and Lakisha ever sing anywhere again without audiences begging to hear that song just one more time? My advice to Melinda Doolittle: never sing that song. Whatever you do, never sing that song!

Deuce Update

The reviews are out and they aren't as bad as the NY chatters predicted but they're not good, either. They say the women are great and the play is not. I'm fascinated by the Internet chatters and how they accurately foreshadow the "real critics." I predict, in 10 years from now, "real critics" will be obsolete. Amateur blogs and Web sites will completely erode the power of the of the major papers and one single opinion won't carry any weight.

Joe Close

I love this photo of Joe Bailey as Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. I find it sad and funny at the same time. My favorite funny is always intertwined with sadness. I worked with Joe hundreds of times. He's one of the only pure people I've ever met. Pure meaning he always did EXACTLY what he said he would, he treated everyone with total respect and he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He is a genuinely good person. I wouldn't call Joe a friend because we never socialized and we don't keep in touch but I LOVED working with him and I'm glad he's still doing theater. And I really did LOVE working with him. Read my blog! Tell me how many actors I've said that about! Not many! I really LOVED working with Joe. He has his own theatre company in Detroit right now, called the Who Wants Cake Theatre Company, don't ask me what the fuck it means. Anyway, they're producing a stage version of Fatal Attraction. Didn't one of the 80's-Corys do it Off-Broadway? Cory Feldman or Cory Haim? Anyway, go see it!

Film vs Theater