Today, I was asked by my good friend, Vincent Lambert, of VincentLambert.com about the first porn movie I ever saw, so I figured today was a good day to "come clean" about my humble beginnings. Here goes:
Truly, Vincent, no one knows this but I was actually born in a porno theatre in Times Square. My birth mother, who was 9 months pregnant with me, was on a date with my Dad. They were seeing the late showing of Throat, (the prequel to Deepthroat). This was before George Lucas made prequels so popular. It was also before adult film preservation, hence, Throat has been lost to history. But, anyway...
My parents loved porn theaters, in fact, he loved theater in general. My Dad was actually a Shakespearean actor and was appearing as a spear carrier in King Lear at the Winter Garden Theater.
Anyway, during Throat, my Mommas water broke and I gushed out, naked, on to the cold sticky floor, opened my eyes and the first images I ever saw was of a girl giving a guy a BJ and thus began my humble life. True story.
The combination of afterbirth, porn and salty popcorn burned my corneas but I couldn't close my eyes. Whenever I visit a porn theatre now I feel, in a way, like I'm going home, like I'm returning to the womb. Adult theatre patrons feel like distant cousins to me. So, yes, I was the first baby ever born in a Times Square porn theatre and the first porn movie I ever saw was, Throat. The life-long effect is obvious to anyone who knows me.
Consequently, the unwanted fame was too much for my birth mother to handle and so she gave me up for adoption and I was raised by loving Mormons in Bakersfield, California.
Anyway, Vincent, thanks for letting me share my story on your big hit blog. I love you, man.
PS This can all be verified by Googling the words: Porn, Times Square, baby, afterbirth, Larsen, sad, cornea.
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