Fat David!

After a two year visit to the United States , Michelangelo's David is returning to Italy ......


___________

My good friend, Blair, sent the David to me! Fucking brilliant. Last night she taught me it was OK to eat hummus. Hummus is low-calories! Who knew? Well Blair knew, obviously.

PS After getting up to 290 again, I've returned to the gym and stopped eating crap and in one week I lost 7 pounds. In one week! Diet & exercise. It's so simple. So why is it so hard?

Call me a faggot, please.

What the fuck is up with MARRIED men and men in RELATIONSHIPS writing to me and complaining I don't have time for them anymore. Are you fucking kidding me??? You're MARRIED with a kid at home and a full-time job. Seriously! How do you even have time for affairs? I had my nieces here for two weeks last summer and I didn't have time to even answer an e-mail, let alone go hook-up. They act like we're in some committed relationship. I've gotten four e-mails this week that go like this..."

"You're always busy. What's the deal? If you don't want to see me anymore, just tell me. You don't answer my calls, I've sent you e-mails you ignore. I guess I should take the hint!"

These guys are in relationships! They're married. I've never been to their homes, I don't know their real names...etc etc etc...and yet they want to ME to be more available to them. It's laughable! Seriously. I guess I should just be happy that people want to have sex with me, but truthfully, I'm busier than ever and believe it or not my world does not revolve around you and your sexual needs.

I feel better now that I've gotten that off my chest. Actually, I don't, but...oh well. And yes, I still want to have sex with you but busy means BUSY. What part of busy don't you understand? It takes a lot of time maintaining a website for all my sex-addicted friends, not to mention the two big parties I host every month.

And truthfully, lately, I haven't been very sexually satisfied. I see this one guy in El Cajon, lives in a trailer, very white trash, very hot, but lately it's gotten a little boring sucking his dick. I asked him to do one thing, "Call me a faggot when I'm sucking your dick." Can he do it? No.

"I'm not comfortable demeaning you."

How are you demeaning me if I WANT you to say it? I don't want you you to say it to me at the shopping mall in front of strangers but it's just you and me here. Hello!"

"It just doesn't feel right"

"Well then maybe you need to find another cocksucker because I have needs, too. I want you to call me a faggot while I'm sucking your dick and if you can't do that one little thing then maybe we need to rethink this entire relationship!"

I didn't really say that last part I was just enjoying writing the dramatic dialogue. That would be a funny scene in a play though,

Call Me A Faggot, Please
a new play by Ronnie Larsen

The premise: A gay guy begs a straight guy to call him a faggot but he won't do it, out of respect, so the gay guy stops seeing the straight guy so the straight guy has to learn to be homophobic to earn back the love of his gay cocksucker. LOL I like it!

Sounds like an interesting one-act I'll probably never write.

Mamma Mia

I tried to leave the play 20 minutes in but my companion, Gino Colbert, begged me to stay til intermission. I went through a period where I walked out of shows after 20 minutes. It got to be very expensive. I use to walk out of more movies , too, but lately I find I haven't. I never wanted to walk out of Mamma Mia the movie but I kept hoping it would end! They sure lucked out by getting Meryl Streep, an actress incapable of giving a bad performance. But it's pretty bizarre watching her act the hell out of the ABBA song, The Winner Takes it All. But millions of people love Mamma Mia, the play AND the movie, so what the fuck do I know?

Don't Tell My Who I Am

I had my first blow-up with a very good friend yesterday. Been friends for years. Never had a fight. He loves to denigrate me and I laugh it off. Our relationship is mostly phone and lately I just haven't had time or interest in carryng on relationships via phone so if you don't live in Oceanside chances are we haven't talked much lately. So I start telling my friend about my day and he starts telling me what I want and who I am. He's done this many times before and I've let it slide but I wasn't having it yesterday so I said, "Do NOT tell me who I am." He kept trying to interrupt me but I just got louder, "Do not tell me who I am. We haven't been in a room together in over a year. Do not tell me who I am."

I read a great quote recently, "Your opinion of me is none of my business."

Don't let other people define you! Define yourself. That's my advice for the day. Just cause someone tells you're sexy doesn't mean you are. Likewise, if someone tells you you're ugly, that ain't true either. Define yourself. Don't let others tell you who you are.

X-Files

Saw it at midnight last night. It's not much of anything. Not bad like The Happening, just sort of empty and not very involving. Not scary, not suspenseful, not interesting. Very bland. I loved the last X-Files movie, saw it a couple of times. I've never really watched the tv show, I hate fiction on tv, but I really enjoyed the the first X Files film but lightening is not striking twice this weekend. Save your money. Go see The Dark Knight or Wall E.

PS My audience were soooooo well-behaved. I finally felt like I was seeing a film with a roomful of mature adults. Nice! Please people, turn off your mother-fucking phones during the movie. Checking your phone during a movie or texting is a criminal offense in my book!

Brady Quinn is NOT gay!!!!

But he sure is HOT!!!


I guess theres some little scandal about NFL Quarterback, Brady Quinn and a gay dating site using his likeness without permission. Google Brady Quinn and you get a slew of sexy images and some of them are VERY gay even though Quinn has made it clear, he is NOT gay, even though one of the pics shows him pretending to suck a dick. Remember, he is NOT gay! He's just HOT! Enjoy the pics. Oh, and in another pic he;s wearing a pink shirt and touching another guys crotch, but he is NOT gay!

PS I saw The Dark Knight for the 4th time today. It's becoming a bit of an obsession.

Is this for real???

I got this off my friends site, www.BillyMasters.com

Our Newest Members on UnitedSexAddicts.com

Its 3 pm the next day and I'm back in line to see Batman. My head is
still spinning from last nights viewing. I felt this same way after
seeing Brokeback Mountain. For me, there's nothing quite as satisying
than seeing an incredibly complex film executed pefectly. I haven't
gotten my head around the new Batman yet but I'm counting the minutes
til the next screening.

I'm sending this from my phone, that's why my response is so brief.

Greetings from the Batman line in San Marcos, Calif.

I saw the late show, opening night, of the original Batman movie in
college, 20 years ago in Fresno.

My friend Caryn is with me , too.

The monthly trannie lunch was a blast, today! Thank you to all who
came and all who came!

I'm exhausted but excited.

Have a great weekend!

I'm sending this from my phone, that's why my response is so brief.

Memo to NY Post

Bad ad placement! I'm sure there was no irony intended by placing a disfigured toddler with a cleft lip next to an article for the sequel to the Phantom of the opera , but if it is intentional, it's a very sick joke.

I'm an antique! Who knew?

My friend Billy Masters sent me this today! Funny to see it today because I noticed an extra amount of gray hairs in my temples. I'm feeling like an antique, myself. Time flies! I have a million of these "antique books" aka Making Porn Playbills. So if I sold each one for 45 dollars that would be 45 million dollars! I'm in the wrong bizness. On a sad note. And this is pretty sad, but my only happy memory of Making Porn in NY was the day it closed. Isn't that awful? A year and half. All I remember was the constant conflict. I'm sure there were many wonderful days but I don't recall very many. I loved doing the show in LA. It was a blast but NY was sooooo much drama. I couldn't imagine doing a show like that now with each cast member having a blog to vent on after the show...would probably be very interesting, actually. I've thought about how different it would be to do shows now with web cams and blogs and camera phones and video each night. At least if there were problems you'd have cool footage for YouTube. ANTIQBOOK
Search Antiqbook
Ask a question or Order this book Browse our books Search our books Book dealer info	LARSEN, RONNIE (WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY), Making Porn - Playbill - May 1997 - Vol. 97 - No. 5. New York: Actors' Playhouse, 1997. Softcover. IN B/W & COLOR. - B/W COVER PHOTO. - "MAKING PORN" - STARRING: JESSICA ALEXANDER - JOHN CANTWELL - JOSHUA CARY - SONNY MARKHAM - ROB MILLER - PETER NEVARGIC, ETC...ETC... - TIME: THE PLAY BEGINS IN THE EARLY EIGHTIES. - PLACE: SAN FRANCISCO. ; 8vo ; 66 pages. F. Offered for US$ 45.00 by: Julian's Books - Book number: 99513

Have a Nice Day

My uncle sent me this. It's better than the racist-monkey-Obama-pic he sent me last week. Do you think it's photo-shopped or real? I think it's real.

With friends like these...

Thanks New Yorker Magazine for nothing. This picture is repulsive and offensive, not only because of the stupid imagery, but because of its placement! New Yorker magazine is nothing if not uber-liberal. Many people in this country actually believe Obama is a closet-Muslim waiting to lead this country to Allah. The liberal press worked their asses off getting him the nomination but I guess Obama fatigue has finally set in and so the next logical step is to destroy the sacred cow they helped create. And round and round it goes.

From Joe. My. God. (a great blog)

Just got this today from Joe.My.God, a blog I've really grown to love and admire. I love these gay scandals involving anti-gay politicians. Delicious! He should join UnitedSexAddicts.com for sure!

Here's the link: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/



RUMOR: Anti-Gay Alabama Attorney General Busted In Bed With Male Aide, About To Resign
There's been an explosion of chatter on Alabama-based blogs today that the state's Republican anti-gay Attorney General Troy King may be about to resign in the face of a sex scandal with a male assistant. According to multiple sources, King was caught in bed with the man by his wife and thrown out of his home.

Via Wonkette:
His [King's] gay lover is either a college “buddy,” or a very young youngster and “Homecoming King” from Troy University. What are the odds of a dude named Troy King getting caught in bed with a Homecoming King from Troy University? This seems like a wacky sitcom plot, on a gay porn channel. (Is this what that Will & Grace was about?)
King has been considered a front-runner for the 2010 Alabama governor's race. A spokesperson for current Gov. Bob Riley denies any plan for King to resign. It is rumored that it was Riley's office that actually leaked the scandal in the first place. King has been in the news most recently for his campaign to enforce a ten year-old ban on the sale of sex toys in Alabama, prompting an internet-fueled project to mail King unwanted dildos.

As a college student, King was a notorious anti-gay crusader, writing numerous letters to his college newspaper attacking AIDS victims as deserving their fates. While in law school at the University of Alabama, he demanded that the school suspend their Gay/Lesbian Alliance, calling it an "affront to Alabama" and "evidence of the perversion of America."
Labels: Alabama, scandal, Troy King

Facebook

I just joined, Facebook. Ridiculous. Totally ridiculous.

At 12:10 Ronnie ate a pretzel

At 12:12 Ronnie made a phone-call

At 12:14 Ronnie became friends with Linda

At 12:22 Ronnie wiped his nose

At 12:26 Ronnie looked out the window

At 12:30 Ronnie became friends with Roger

At 12:35 Ronnie became friends with Steven

At 12:40 Ronnie died of boredom while browsing Facebook and making friends.

WALL E Spoilers Don't read if you haven't seen it.

Bret writes: I thought it was excellent, too.

But I really wish they hadn't brought up the possibility of Wall-E's memory deletion at the end if they weren't going to follow through on it.

I truly think WALL-E would have been a much stronger movie had Pixar decided to let the robot die. It would have been a terrifically moving tragedy.

But Pixar opts to merely tease us with that possibility, then slap on the same old, fake, Hollywood, feel-good ending.

Don't even bring it up, Pixar! If you're just going to pussy out of it ...
_____

Bret,

I totally disagree. The entire message of Wall E is one of hope, survival and optimism. There would be actually no point to having Wall E die. Following your line of thinking they should have let the humans die, too, or the lone plant for that matter. As disturbing as the movie is the filmmakers clearly believe we can survive, we can live but we have to make tough decisions and work hard. Killing WALL E would do nothing to underscore that message. It would simply leave moviegoers depressed and that is not what they want to do. They want to challenge us and inspire us but not "kill" us. Wall E is a metaphor for us. We are Wall E. We are the solution. We need to take care of the planet. We need to learn to love. We need to connect. We need to survive. The sick joke of the movie is that the most human characters in the film are the robots. It takes robots to teach us how to be human. The filmmakers clearly have dark concerns on their minds but they aren't pessimists. The movie is not about death it's about life. Humans are sick, the planet is sick, but we arent dead yet.

I could go on and on...

Clearly Chaplin and Broadway musicals were a huge inspiration for this story. Both of those genres tend to end happily. Killing Wall E would have betrayed the source material. It would have mocked the very thng it wants to be. No one dies at the end of Hello Dolly! Chaplin is a survivor! Wall E is not Shakespearean, it's musical comedy. It's not Greek tragedy it's a romantic fairy tale.

Bret, would you want Cinderella to spend her life cleaning houses and never get a prince? Do you really want to see Jack get killed by the giant? Do you want Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss to get eaten by the shark??? What would a massage be without a happy ending? Happy endings are not created by pussies for pussies. Happy endings inspire us, they give us hope. The happy ending in Wall E is a perfect ending to a perfect movie.

Now let's discuss the worst movie of all time:

The Crappening by M . Night Shamalong

Truly, the worst film of the year but possibly the decade. Unbelievably awful. Every shot, every line, every moment, every performamce; awful, awful, awful. Have you ever taken a shit that was so long you thought it would never stop coming out of your ass. That's what this movie is. Just when you think the shit will stop more shit keeps coming. It's a shit feast. Anyone into scat will LOVE it!

In a way though, it's good news for the Shamalong. He will never make a film as bad as this ever again. It's simply not possible.

Jerry Herman saves the world!

Jerry Herman, who once threatened to sue me (for making a dirty joke about him in my play Making Porn) and then came to see the play in Palm Springs and graciously met with the cast afterwards, has spoken out about WALL E and the way his music is featured, pivotally, in the Pixar masterpiece! It's interesting to me to see a Broadway musical play such a huge part in a popular futuristic sci-fi epic. Maybe the theatre isn't dead, after all.
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Text size:
Hello, WALL•E, Sings Jerry Herman, Who Loves Use of His 44-Year-Old Songs in the Movie
By FRANK RIZZO | Courant Staff Writer
July 1, 2008


Wall•e (Disney/PIXAR)

Can a musical comedy save the world? Well, it certainly helps, according to the new Pixar animated film "WALL•E," which opened nationwide this weekend and brought in $62.5 million at the box office, making it the No. 1 film in America.

Two songs from "Hello, Dolly!" — "Put on Your Sunday Clothes" and "It Only Takes a Moment" — are pivotal in the film's story about a little robot, the only sign of "life" (not counting a friendly cockroach) left on a devastated and abandoned Earth 700 years in the future.

What keeps the resourceful robot going is not just his recharging solar plates but a videotape from the 1969 film "Hello, Dolly." The songs feature Michael Crawford, Marianne MacAndrew and — if you look closely in the chorus — Tommy Tune. ( Barbra Streisand, who starred in the film, is not featured in the "WALL•E" clips.)

The feel-good song "Sunday Clothes" lifts the robot's spirits as he goes on his programmed daily drudgery. The romantic ballad "It Only Tales a Moment" reminds him of contact with another entity, which is missing from his lonely life.


Video

Related links
Movie trailer: 'WALL-E" Video
Jerry Herman Photo
'Wall-E' Photos
'WALL•E' A Stunning, Funny Parable
Finding WALL•E, 14 Years Later
No Humans: Filmmakers Fascinated About What Comes Next

When Jerry Herman, composer of the Broadway musical, saw "WALL•E" Sunday night in Los Angeles, he was stunned.

"It really blew me away," Herman said in a telephone interview Monday. "You're talking to someone still in a haze. I couldn't believe how beautifully the songs expressed the entire intent of the film."

Herman, who turns 77 next week, said he was not aware of how the songs were going to be used and expected them to be featured briefly as background music.

Instead, the film opens with a shot of the universe and the voice of Crawford singing the opening lines, "Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers ...," followed by most of the rest of the upbeat song as the robot goes on his daily routine

"I'll tell you that the seat I was in will never be the same," Herman says. "I clutched those two arm rests. I was so thrilled and moved. What a wonderful use — to show a desolate world contrasted with the joy of those lyrics.

"The amazing thing for me is that two songs from a show that certainly was iconic in its day — or still is — will now have a more permanent place in history because of this movie, which is probably going to be the film of the year."

Does he feel vindicated that his songs, sometimes dismissed as too sunny, will live on?

"It made me doubly pleased to have written songs of optimism and joy," Herman says. "They call me the eternal optimist. Well, that's what the world needed after the assassination of Kennedy [before the Broadway show opened in January 1964] and what the world needs now."

Herman predicts this will heighten interest in a Broadway revival of "Hello, Dolly!"

"I've been thinking about it, and there are several ladies — stars — I am already playing in my head to cast."

"To have 'Dolly!" blooming again now," he says, "is like having an orchid plant suddenly, unexpectedly coming back to life."

Herman says that after leaving the cineplex, filled with joy, he turned to his goddaughter and sang, "Well, well, hello, WALL•E!"

Contact Frank Rizzo at rizzo@courant.com.