Fajitas and Bryan Singer

It was my second time at Fiesta Cantina in West Hollywood. The first time I was there was on a date and tonight I was there with my dear friend, Craig Fox. I love Craig. We wrote a play together and he's one of the few collaborators I've had that I wanted to continue a true friendship with after the collaboration ended. Working together on a script was a process I did not enjoy and as much as I love the man I vowed never to co-write a script again. Collaboration is hell. Period. Anyone who says it isn't is lying. I'm in awe of those TV writers who write as a team. So it's interesting to me that Craig and I are discussing working on a documentary together. I'm telling myself that collaborating on a documentary will be completely different than collaborating on a play. And yes, I know, I'm completely delusional.

Anyway, so Craig comes to town last night and we can't agree on which movie to see or where to eat. I told you we shouldn't collaborate. We decide to go to Fiesta Cantina. I had Fajitas there like three years ago on a date and they were excellent so off we go. My memory of this place whas that it was simply a restaurant. How wrong I was. It's, supposedly, some kind of happening, hip, gay, watering-hole, hang-out. Who knew? The gays love it. They come, they drink, they hang out.

However, I don't enjoy hanging out where huge groups of gay men are drinking and discussing their faux-hawks. It's not my idea of entertainment. So after my fajitas were consumed I was ready to leave. But then an actor I worked with a long time ago in Chicago (Brendan), comes flaming across the floor and we begin to catch up. He's amusing as always even though he thinks Romy and Michelles High School Reunion is a cinematic masterpiece. "I don't like action and stuff he says." Of course not Brendan, if you did you wouldn't be hanging out every night at a Taco Stand, but don't get me started.

Brendan told me he actually wrote a TV pilot for his college thesis based on his experiences being in one of my plays. He says he portrayed my producer, Caryn Horwitz, like Charlie on Charlies Angels, "You never see her, you just hear her on the other end of the line, smoking, drinking diet coke, and yelling at the dogs to BE QUIET!"

Brendan was amusing but I get bored quickly. I was about to leave when in walks the director of Superman Returns, Bryan Singer. Watching him enter was like watching a gay version of the HBO show, Entourage. I actually admire Mr. Singer. I loved Usual Suspects and was truly fascinated by the X-Men movies. Also he's openly gay, which makes me happy on some level. I was bored by Superman Returns but that's a different story. Anyway, a little buzz starts.

"Bryan Singer's here."

"Who's Bryan Singer?"

"Is he the guy in the hat?"

"No, the other guy."

"He directed Superman."

"Ohhhh."

"Bryan Singer's here."

"Who's that?"

"He directed Superman."

It goes on like this for a while.

So, heres the deal. I'm very curious to know what Mr. Singer thought of X-Men 3. He directed the first two but left in some dispute to go do Superman and now X-Men 3 has out-grossed Superman but the reviews weren't as good as the first two, blah, blah, blah...But I'm still curious to know what he thought of it.

So this crazy homeless woman comes up to me and begs for money. So I give her two dollars to do me a favor...

"I want you to go over there and say, "I need to talk to Bryan Singer." Then I want you to ask him what he thought of X-Men 3."

So she takes the money and I see her go over and she starts yelling, "Who's Bryan Singer? Where's Bryan Singer. I need to talk to Bryan Singer."

He's standing right next to her but he ignores her and one of his entourage talks to her. She comes back to me and reports that Bryan Singer isn't here and then she asks for more money. I tell her they're lying and I give her two more dollars to go back and she does go back and I can hear her saying from across the bar. "Where's Bryan Singer???"

She's over there for a long time talking to the entourage.

Then she comes back with a second report.

"He already left."

I say, "he didn't leave cause he's standing right there, but don't worry about it." And I give up.

I still don't know what Bryan Singer thought of X-Men 3 but I do know he hangs out with a lot of guys who use a ton of hair products.

And that was my night: Fajitas and Bryan Singer. Welcome to LA!