Twilight, the MOST boring movie of ALL time!

I kid you not! I saw this unexplainable pile of shit tonight and I was so bored at one point I went out to check my e-mails on my iPhone. There's about 5 minutes of action in this 2 hour crap heap. 95% of the movie is just two boring actors, playing two boring parts taking endlessly about nothing! This thing is pure nonsense. Truly, the worst. But seriously, it's all my fault. What the hell is a 40 year old (almost) man doing at Twilight? The jokes really on me. They shouldn't even have allowed me in the theatre. There should be an age limit. Anyone over 12 years old should not be allowed to see Twilight. Seriously, this movie is so boring! I forgive movies for lots of things but boredom is never excusable. And here's where I'm gonna get in trouble, the creative team seems to be all female. No one wants to talk about this but I'm gonna say it; women almost never direct great films, and they almost NEVER direct successful action movies, Mimi Leder tried but she burned out after two mediocre films, The Peacemaker and Deep Impact. Name a great female director. Penny Marshall? Now, I agree, some women have made some fabulous films, Sofia Coppola wrote and directed a movie I LOVED, Lost in Translation. But one great movie does not a great career make. And I'm not saying that a male director could have salvaged Twilight, BUT, had Michael Bay directed Twilight, I promise it would not have been boring. It might have still been stupid but certainly not boring!

Click here to read a VERY interesting article about women directors. 

BY THE NUMBERS

Hollywood tends to value its directors by the dollar. Here's the top 10 women directors ranked by how much money their films have grossed. The figures are based on data from the-numbers.com and rounded off by us.

1. Nancy Meyers: $437 million—Her four films include The Holiday andSomething's Gotta Give.

2. Nora Ephron: $418 million—Her six films include Sleepless in Seattle,You've Got Mail.

3. Penny Marshall: $402 million—Seven films, including Big and A League of Our Own.

4. Amy Heckerling: $352 million—Seven films including Clueless andLook Who's Talking and its first sequel.

5. Betty Thomas: $344.5 million—Her six films include The Brady Bunch Movie, 28 Days and Dr. Doolittle.

6. Penelope Spheeris: $253 million—Five films, including Wayne's Worldand The Little Rascals.

7. Mimi Leder: $215 million—Three films, including Pay It Forward andDeep Impact.

8. Barbra Streisand: $155 million—The multitasker has directed three films, including The Prince of Tides and Yentl.

9. Martha Coolidge: $135 million—Eleven films, including Valley Girl andRambling Rose. Also the first woman to serve as president of the Director's Guild of America.

10. Kathryn Bigelow: $97.5 million—Six films including K-19: The Widowmaker and Point Break.

Now for fun lets name 10 successful male directors in no particular order.

Spielberg - James Cameron - Christopher Nolan - Ridley Scott - Peter Jackson - Quentin Tarantino - Tim Burton - Michael Bay - George Lucas - Martin Scorcese....the list goes on and on....

There is not woman on the list of successful-women's-career-list who even comes close to any directors on the male list. Not by a mile. Chalking it up to sexism seems simplistic to me. But I don't have the balls to come out and simply say, "Women can't make great films, consistently! Women can't make consistently great action films. Women can't make consistently financially successful films." No, I don't have the balls to say it. But I sure have thought it. And watching the credits roll during Twilight, tonight, made me think it again. I suspect Twilight will die off quickly cause it's just soooo damn boring. Remember, all it's business is upfront sales based on people who love the book but I doubt this shitty film will garner much long-term love. But time will tell.

See it at your own risk.