My neighbor, the Marine.

The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

I gasped as I opened this image. I can't stop staring at it. I worship Tim Burton. Sondheim is a genius. Sweeney Todd is one of my favorite musicals. I am now, officially, totally excited about this movie.
PS I haven't been blogging much lately. I'm in the midst of moving across the street to a bigger place with a better view. I'm very excited but overwhelmed. Here are a few pics of the new house.

Video Blog: Bible Camp

Wal-Mart goes gay! Ellen greeting cards. Very interesting.

Bait Shop

I thought it would be amusing to hang a Bait Shop sign outside my window but now some people think I'm really running a bait shop. Last night a guy comes over and with a totally straight-face asks, "do you really sell bait?"

Sicko

I saw Sicko last week but I've been too busy to write about it which is really bad on my part because it's the most important, disturbing, heartbreaking, enlightening, and challenging film I've seen this year. It's scarier than any horror film and more serious than any drama. It's also the funniest film this year after Knocked Up. This film should be required viewing for all Americans. Even if you disagree with much of the film and there's much to be questioned in this film it's still a might important movie. Please go see it. Even if you hate Michael Moore, go see it. It's not about Michael Moore, it's about ALL of us. I cried at least 5 times and spent much of the movie shaking my head in disbelief. It's riveting stuff. Go see it. Go! Go! Go!

Free Food Pt. 3: Caviar

Dinner: Soup Plantation

Google Quote of the Day

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.
- David Richerby

Hello AT&T

As much I like Verizon, I like Steve Jobs much, much more. I'm a Mac addict, no doubt about it. I debated about waiting for the next version of the iPhone but the pull was just too much. So now my life is finally complete. Above is the first photo taken with the new phone. It's truly an amazing machine. Everything syncs up perfectly; all my Safari bookmarks, my contacts, my mail, my calender, my iTunes. I clicked on the YouTube button and ended up watching a clip from a British talent show with Simon Cowell. I'd heard about this clip, it features a salesman with bad teeth who sings opera. As I watched it I wept like a baby, it was the perfect beginning of my new relationship with my phone; tears of joy. But of course, we Americans love to complain so here are the problems so far:

1. No flash/light for taking pics in the dark, at least not that I found yet.

2. No instant messaging, but I already knew that going in.

3. It reads all my old mail as new mail, so the counter keeps telling me I have 25 new e-mails even when I don't. I'm sure there's a way to fix that.

4. It seems to have a limit on how many favorites you can have in your phone book and there's no speed dial thing but all my contacts are still in there it just takes an extra step, no big deal, really.

5. Ummmm, I can't think of anything else, but I'll keep you posted.

Enjoy the clip below:

Free Food Pt. 2: Fanta

Memento and Christopher Nolan

It took me a week to get through Memento on DVD but I really, really liked it. I hate watching movies at home. I don't concentrate and/or fall asleep. I'm always on the computer so I sort of half-watch the TV. For instance, right now I'm watching The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. John Wayne is so good, I love him and Jimmy Stewart is great as always but I'm not really watching it. I'm sort of listening to it. But you can't watch Memento that way, so I had to focus on it and I kept falling asleep, but I really did like it. And Christopher Nolan is a huge, fucking talent; Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, these are VERY entertaining films and I'm incredibly excited about the next Batman movie. I wish I could say the same about Spiderman.

It's fitting to be writing about Memento tonight, a film about tattoos, because as I write this, my neighbor is getting a big tattoo in his living room by a travelling tattoo artist. His living room has been transformed into a temporary tattoo parlor. Chemicals, tinfoil, blood, bright lights, it's creepy but exciting. Hi house looks like a David Fincher production. I keep going over to see the progress. The last time I went over, the tattooer was putting on a rubber glove and opening a jar of Vaseline. I said, "how funny, I was just doing the same thing in my own apt. less than an hour ago. If you run out of Vaseline, lemme know."

PS Does John Wayne say "pilgrim" in every movie? And the lighting in Liberty Valance is beautiful. It's like a film-noir-western. I must see more John Ford films.

1408

1408 is basically a play with amazing special effects. One man, alone in a hotel room for an hour, being attacked by ghosts, furnishings and bad weather. John Cusack does a very good job and the film never lags. I was completely involved the entire time, thank God!

Transformers

I'm tired of talking about whether movies are good or bad, I'm more interested in how they make me feel. While watching Die Hard I felt exhilarated, excited and involved; while watching Transformers I felt nothing. I felt numb. I didn't care. I wasn't amused. I wasn't involved. Did I hate it? No. Was it bad? I don't think so. I like Michael Bay, I do. I love The Rock, I think it's a perfect action movie. And I really like The Island though I think I'm the only one. (I actually saw it twice.) But Transformers did nothing for me either way, good or bad. It just didn't effect me. I could be cynical and say it was a dumb idea to make a movie about a toy but Toy Story 1 and 2 were thoroughly enjoyable films. So I know it's possible to make an entertaining film about ANYTHING and even robots have moved before; AI was a very lovely film. So where did Transformers go wrong? The only thing in the film that really excited me was the Bee-otch air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror of one of the cars. I still laugh when I think about it. Bee-otch. LOL Hopefully, that doesn't turn out to be the funniest moment of my summer movie-going experience.

Hot Shower starring Carolyn

Trannie Hitchhiking Pt. 5

cna yuo raed tihs

I'm dedicating this post to typo-afflicted bloggers everywhere. You are not alone.

________________________________________________

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in th e rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.
________________

On a related topic, the documentary, Spellbound, is one of my favorite films of all time. I cry repeatedly every time I watch it. It's a funny, touching, inspiring, disturbing and complex film. Watch it!

Bye, Home!

Thank you, for everything!

Nice Arms!

Ride 'em Cowboy!

Goodbye Home, Hello July

Today's gonna be a strange day. I'm going to Bakersfield to say goodbye to my childhood home. It's been sold and starting next week my Dad is gonna start dismantling it and getting it ready for the new owner to move in 6 weeks from now. The thing that most disturbs me is the smell I fear I'll never smell again. One of the most comforting things I've ever known is walking into the house and being engulfed by the warm "home" smell that I've only smelled while in that home. I worry I'll never smell that scent again. It's another piece of my mother that will be gone. I'm sad but I know it's not realistic to keep a home so I can go a couple of times a year and smell it. I'll take my video camera and shoot my last moments in the house but, unfortunately, video doesn't capture scent. I don't know how I'll feel, exactly, but I'm not looking forward to it. And now I'm gonna go masturbate and fall asleep. Good night, happy Sunday and hello, July.

Playing God

I've begun preliminary work on a documentary about people dealing with the death of a pet and people are submitting heartbreaking stories via e-mail. Some aren't sure they want to be in the film but they want to share their story with me. I'm honored. I got this one last night:

"I wish I had heard of you when I had to put my BELOVED pot belled pig down. I had had Harley ever since he was only 3 weeks old and had him 16 years. I had to plan every detail of his death because I wanted him buried on my property. He was a 300 pound pig which meant that he was not easy to put down nor was he easy to bury. I cried for weeks before and still do cry over the lose of him. My vet tried every concoction he could mix to put Harley down but nothing worked. He finally had to shot him. When the vet's gun would not work, my husband had to get his own gun to shot my dear sweet Harley two more times. I have had animals my whole life (I am 55) and nothing was as painful (and still is) has losing my Harley. You never really know if you are doing the right thing to put an animal down. It's kind of like playing God. I still have my doubts about if I did the right thing. Harley was to a point of not being able to walk anymore and he was blind and could not see where he was going. I know he will be the first one to greet me when I go home to be with Jesus. I would be interested in seeing your documentary when you have completed it."

Showtime

Are white people allowed in to the Apollo Theater to watch Amateur Night. On occasion I watch at home but I dream of one day watching it live, however, I just realised now, while watching, that there ain't one white face in the crowd! Hmmm. Oh wait, I think I just saw an Asian. And now a white guy is performing a song made famous by a black guy...and now he's break dancing in front of a 99% black crowd. It's not a perfect world but it's a better world now than it was in 1950, no question.

Live Free Die Hard

Loved it. Loved every minute of it. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. Oh wait, I forgot, Kevin Smith was in it. Ok, I take it back, I didn't love every minute of it but I loved every frame that didn't include Mr. Smith. Actually, even Smith wasn't horrible, just distracting.

Anyway, I'm annoyed by the critics who say the the movie is too over-the top. I WANT my action movies filled with crazy, jaw-dropping shit. I want to say, "Holy shit", when I'm watching an action movie. Die Hard 4 is filled with insane action pieces that made me giddy and unlike Spidey and Pirates, I'll be seeing this one again for sure.

Thank you, Mr. Willis. And Justin Long was very good, too.

My First Fuck

Two of my favorite ladies, Caryn and Carolyn, descended on Oceanside this weekend and filled my little shack with love. Carolyn Anhalt, my first girlfriend 20+ years ago stopped in on her way to Italy, don't ask. We had a lovely swim, eat at the buffet and made a film about her 5 abortions. 2 hours of film should not be an easy edit but I'll get to it soon, I hope and you can all decide for yourselves if she's horrible for having had 5 abortions. Speaking of sex, Carolyn claims I was the first guy to fuck her but I honestly don't recall. I guess I'm a repressed heterosexual. Carolyn is a sexy creature and if I did deflower her, I feel honored that I was the first. After Carolyn left, my female neighbor wanted to know ALL about her. She thought Carolyn was hot and was interested in getting to know her better but that's the thing about Carolyn, she's elusive. Just when you think you've got her, poof, she's off to the next city. I know she'll be back. But not soon enough.

Here we are: then (1984) and now (2007).