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June 20, 2007

Fantastic 4


Q. The end of the world is near so what do the Fantastic 4 do for the first half the movie???

A: Plan a wedding.
B: Complain about how hard it is being a superhero.
C: Go dancing.
D: Try to get laid.
E: Bicker with each other.
F: Bicker with the military.
G: Watch themselves on Access Hollywood.
I: All of the above.

Ironically, the answer is I, all of the above.

Ironic because "I" is really all the Craptastic 4 care about: themselves!

In this piece of shit film, the Fantastic 4 are written and acted as completely self-centered, shallow, idiots! Who decided it was wise to let superheroes act like assholes for large chunks of their movies? First, we were subjected to Spiderman shopping for hip clothes and showing off and now we have the Fantastic 4 where a hero doesn't want to fight crime because he's wearing Dolce and Gabana. I'm not making this shit up.

Chris Evans is unbelievably HOT and that is ALL this movie has going for! What a total pile of shit! And yes, Virginia, sadly enough, there will be another Fantastic 4 sequel. Pray they hire Christopher Nolan next time!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It was better than the first one, but still weak.

BTW I totally agree on Chris Evans. I will watch anything with him for the rest of his life no matter what, just because he's hot today.