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March 25, 2007

My Unholy Blog

I ate at Wendy's today and my bill was 666. Scary.

I ate at Wendy's today and my bill was 666. Scary.

March 20, 2007

Lily Tomlin vs David O. Russell

This clip is insane. I can't believe it! Oh wait. I can believe it. I've lived it. If any of you really want to understand the collaborative process in theatre and film, here it is. This shit goes on every fucking day. This is the stuff they never show on those stupid "making of" shows but this is truer to the reality of how "entertainment" gets made. And if Lily had won the Oscar she would have stood up there and thanked her brilliant director for "pushing her so hard." And if David had won he would have thanked the "tireless" Lily Tomlin for putting up with him. The next time you see and actor director saying "how much they loved working together" just think of this clip. And this my friends is why I've been on hiatus for a year and half because life is simply too short to spend your days trapped in rehearsals arguing with people. Peace!

The Host


I was so excited to see this film; the highest grossing film in the history of South Korea. Equal parts horror, sci-fi, family drama and slapstick; the reviews have been great and the film sounded highly original but, alas, I was disappointed. Too much hype, perhaps. Too long, not enough action and characters that began to grate after a while. I didn't hate it but I expected much, much more. American critics are often so self-loathing that they rave about anything made in America and overpraise films from foreign lands. The Host is a perfect example of this. Hade it been made in America with American actors it would've been dismissed. I'm not dismissing The Host but I can't really recommend it either. It's just OK.

Premonition


Who could hate Premonition??? It's 2 hours of serious-inoffensive-silliness. It's one of those insane thrillers that make no sense whatsoever but somehow keeps you involved the whole way through. I don't even think I liked the film but I really enjoyed watching it. I wasn't bored or annoyed and truthfully, I have always liked Sandra Bullock. I think she's an extremely gifted actress in terms of realism and honesty. I never cringe at her delivery only the lines she's delivering and that's the greatness and sadness of Bullock. She is so good at selling material but 80% of the time the material she's selling is weak. And I always feel that she's acting as a producer. She goes out of her way to make all the lines work and make sense but she's never transported me or stirred me or disturbed me the way say, Judi Dench does. Even in lite films like the Bond series I feel that Dench is exploring something deeper than the material but with Bullock I always feel like she's doing her job and doing it very well but she needs better material, better directors, more challenging co-stars and she needs to stop worrying about the box office; she's made plenty of money, already. She's a smart actress and a smart businesswoman but those two hats she wears prevent her from doing either one exquisitely. That's my two cents on Bullock.
To see a list of the mostly mediocre films Bullock has been involved with, click here.

March 15, 2007

More Than A Feeling



When I was a kid I always assumed the rock group Boston were super cool because my ultra-hip brother had their albums in his collection. My brother was a music fanatic and I knew that anything he thought was "cool" should be liked by me as well. So, I was surprised years later to hear that Boston was critically panned when they first came out. I don't know a lot about Boston but many of their songs are my favorite from that time period and hearing them always makes me nostalgic. So I was very sad to learn that Brad Delp, Boston's lead singer, recently killed himself. Very sad, indeed.

March 13, 2007

People are so dramatic!

Someone recently sent me this. It's not really my thing but I found it amusing so I'm sharing it with ya'll.

"I am straight, very good
looking, clean and in shape. I fantasy may sound
strange but here goes. I have this fantasy where I am
at a party, very drunk, I pass out, and the a guy
finds me, strips me, and sucks me off. If this
interests you hit me up. Recent photo attached.

Allen"

March 12, 2007

A weird weekend


I've had a bizarre 48 hours. Have you ever had a two day period where a bunch of little things keep going wrong but it continues long enough that you begin to question your sanity? Nothing big really, just a bunch of stupid stuff. I kept dropping things, I forgot my phone at a store, I left on my bike without my helmet and had to go back to get it, I burned my hand repeatedly with a hot glue gun while doing a home-making project, I couldn't get my bike lock to work for like 10 minutes, I spilled a soda all over the floor...I could go on and on...and of course none of these things mean anything individually but taken as a whole it's been a bizarre series of events. It almost makes me afraid to leave the house. Hopefully, things will return to normal in the next 24 hours.

300


300 is the gayest film of the year and possibly the decade. If you're gay and you don't mind beheadings you will really enjoy this film. The "huge" cast of ripped bodybuilders perform the entire film in black jockstraps. I don't really have much to say about the actual film; its a huge blockbuster, it's gory, it clips along, it's interesting to watch and most importantly, the entire movie is performed in jockstraps. Oh and if you're straight, there's female boobies on display as well so this film really does have something for everyone. What more do you need to know?

The First Day of Summer


Having never lived on the beach before in March, it was a shock to wake up on Sunday and find the ocean filled with sailboats and surfers and happy people frollicking in the waves without wetsuits. Women were sunbathing and people were barbecuing so I guess summer is officially here. I always mark the first day of summer as the opening weekend of the first big blockbuster released by Hollywood but I guess Oceanside is on it's own schedule. I can't imagine going in the water in March but maybe by April. We'll see. So if it's cold where you are and you're ready for summer, come to Oceanside! Summer has begun!

March 09, 2007

LOL


This picture, literally, made me laugh out loud for about 3 minutes. I'm not sure why? Maybe because I found it in the casual encounters section of Craigs List. Maybe the thought of this bird looking for a casual encounter cracked me up. Or maybe it's just a funny picture. I'm not sure but everytime I look at it I laugh out loud!

Have a great weekend!

March 07, 2007

Smokin' Aces


I don't know what to say about this movie. I can't even describe it; it's so odd. The plot involves a bunch of crazy hitmen and hitwomen descending on a hotel in Tahoe to kill Jeremy Piven. The tone shfts so frequently I wasn't even sure what I was watching. It's filled with lots of famous actors doing lots of bizarre accents and wearing crazy clothes. At first it seems like it's gonna be a light action piece but then actors start crying and I guess we're supposed to empathize, I'm not sure. It's a truly bizarre hybrid of Quentin Tarantino, a Warners Brothers Cartoon and the Godfather films. I truly have never seen anything quite like it. I might see it again just to understand it. I did NOT hate it on any level, I just left scratching my head.
I was, however, the ONLY person in the theatre so that filled me with joy. I love having my very own Oceanside screening room.

"Have a Jesusful Day!"

March 06, 2007

Dear Fox News,


Today was a new low, even for you. I click on the Drudge Report and in bright red letters it declares "Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! Libby Scooter found guilty. Libby found guilty on all but one of the counts." So I click on Fox News hoping to see that Cheney is resigning and the first words I see on the screen are "Scooter Libby found not guilty of lying to FBI." What the fuck??? You guys then continued to keep the words on the screen for the next two minutes. How bout just putting up the words,"Scooter Libby found guilty on four counts." Don't ya think most viewers would assume that he was found not guilty on one of the counts. Sometimes you guys make it extremely hard to defend you.

Ronnie

March 03, 2007

Batter Up! The Sequel.



I returned to the batting cage yesterday with my wife/ex-wife/best friend, not sure what she is but I love her with all my heart. She's gone to the gym every single day for the last 7 months and has lost about 65 pounds. Very inspiring. Here she is swinging her bat and driving a go-kart. Go speed racer!

Little Miss Sunshine


I finally saw this "comedy"! Comedy????? Are you people smoking crack. This was one of the saddest, most disturbing films I've seen all year. Much darker then The Departed. The pedophilic-pageant at the end with all the Jon Benet Ramseys' made me sick to my stomach. Why do people think this movie is "cute"? Did anyone actually see it? Suicide, drug-addiction, failed dreams, bankruptcy, child-exploitation; this movie is dark, dark, dark. No one and I mean no one has described it to me properly. There is so much pain packed into this film. I wept at the end. I keep thinking about the yellow buses we're all pushing up hill while trying to keep our relationsips intact and maintain a little dignity.

I avoided this film cause I don't like cute films but for me this movie was a serious drama with some great laughs but a "comedy", I don't think so. Maybe the title enforced the notion that it's a cute film (even my best friend said she thought it was cute) but maybe if it had been called American Beauty or Ordinary People it would have been seen for the tough, hard-hitting drama that it was and been awarded more trophies. Certainly Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell gave performaces as complex and real as any of the other nominees this year. Oh well. I'm so glad I finally saw it.

Zodiac


I loved the first hour or so of the Zodiac and then I began falling asleep. I NEVER fall asleep in films but I was super tired and for about 30 minutes it was a fight stay awake. Then after my nap i was suddenly revived and I loved the final 30 minutes. It felt about 4 hours long but that's only because I was in a dream state for some of it. But what I was awake for, I loved. And I did NOT fall asleep because of the film, I just happened to be extremely tired. I have always admired director David Fincher, I even loved Alien 3 where Sigourney goes bald. Anyway, Zodiac is a really really good film and I wish there were more complex and fascinating films like this in theatres. I can not urge you enough to see it in the theatre. Watching it at home with all the distractions of life may keep you from really getting involved.

March 01, 2007

Thank God for Bret!

Intelligent-Bret translated the hateful but hilarious comment I got on one of my videos. Basically the guy wants to see the fat pig (me) put in a microwave. Bret, who wants to fuck James McAvoy (and who doesn't) will explain all.
__________

I only had 2 years of university Spanish, but it looks like a really nasty, Hispanic poster thinks you're a "pig" / marrano and was lodging epithets at you.

"y que pedo???"

y = and
que = what or that

But "pedo" means "fart" or "drunkenness" as a noun. Maybe "pedo" is a misspelled verb, because there are no verbs in his sentence as should be.

"Puedo" is a very common Spanish verb meaning "I can."

So "y que puedo???" could mean "And what can I?" or "what can I do?" although truly, "what can I do" would be "que puedo hacer?"

Either way, "y que pedo???" is an incomplete or improper sentence. It looks like he means "And that fart???"

"a que hora le cae el rayo al marrano?" means "When does the raybeam fall to the pig?"

"raybeam" meaning "microwave beam," as in the video.

("a que hora" literally means "at what hour," the interrogative form of "when" that Spanish-speaking people prefer).

So, it looks to me like the poster was saying:

"and that fart???

when does the microwavebeam fall to the pig?"

He think's you're a fart and pork that should be roasted in the microwave like the Jell-O.

Nice guy. I'm sorry the world is full of haters.

You know you're special and talented; that you actually belong to the human species, so pay no mind to El Vindictivo.

:)