I need a dentist!!! lol

Tyra banks is "fat"!?!? No honey, i'm fat. My left leg weighs more than her!

Yum! I love me some Vegas buffet!

At del taco! Lol . . . I did not put it there. Not my number. But funny.

Celine, Bush and Oscar

Celine:
I'm off to Vegas today to see Celine in concert. I'm so excited but I don't know why. I'm not even a fan, though I did love her meltdown on TV over the Katrina debacle. It should be fascinating if nothing else.

Bush:
I almost didn't watch the speech but at the last minute I succumbed. I loathe Bush. I'm not interested in anything he has to say because I don't believe a word out of his mouth. I just want this nightmare of a presidency to end. I don't hate Republicans. I would've supported a Colin Powell presidency but Bush...well it's a nightmare. Truly. What more is there to say? So I watched the speech and I'm so glad I did. His introduction of Pelosi was classy and historic. Here's hoping we see another classy and historic moment two years from now when he hands the reigns over to President Clinton and her Vice President, Bill.

Oscar:
This will be the year when people are given Oscars for who they are as opposed to what they did. Scorese will get a well-deserved lifetime achievemment award under the guise of best director for The Departed. Al Gore will win best Doc as a consolation prize for losing the presidency. Borat will probably be awarded best adapted screenplay because everyone loves the film even though the "adapted" nomination makes no sense. This is the year when "who you are" will trump what you did. It was a very weak year for film. My two favorite films are still Jackass and Borat. Last year we had the incredibly complex Brokeback Mountain, a film I saw about 6 times at the theater and I'm still not sure I understand it. This year we have Babel, a film so simple in it's message that it could be a bumper sticker: "Take Care of Your Kids!" "Guns are Bad!" "We're all the same!" Snoooze. I long for movies that haunt me. Nothing this year haunts me but I still think about sad Ennis Del Mar and that blood-stained shirt hanging in his closet. I think about Ennis and wonder what he's doing today. I frequently return to You Tube to be devastated by Jennifer Holliday doing "I'm Not Going" on the Tonys but the movie of Dreamgirls has almost completely faded from my memory. None of the nominated movies this year are bad but I want more. I'm greedy. Where is the next Silence of the Lambs or Jaws? Where is that movie that grips you from the very first frame and leaves you disturbed, shocked, scared, enlightened. Where is that movie that makes you want to run back into the theater. Is anyone really inspired, haunted and shaken by The Queen or The Departed? I remember being shaken by the original poster for Alien, that green egg, floating...and the film still grips me...EVERY SINGLE TIME I WATCH IT. Or the Wizard of Oz even. Where is the Wizard??? Where are the movies that make you want to watch them again and again and again. I saw The Departed twice and on the second viewing it felt like old news, the surprises were no longer surprising. When I watch The Fugitive I'm always afraid Harrison Ford is not gonna get away and I've seen that film millions of times. I know the ebnding but I forget as I watch because the movie is so perfectly made. Those are the movies I'm waiting for and those are the movies I did not get this year. I got some really good movies this year but I'm still waiting for the next Jaws. Maybe next year.

Cocksucking and Sharks!

I find these two images fascinating. Plus, they concern two of my favorite topics. The first one is a rare shark that recently surfaced on the Drudge Report via Japan and the second one is...self explanatory. But the photos really do go together, don't ya think? The shark actually looks like a penis.

Justin Timberlake works at Red Lobster.

Time for Typos

I've gotten flack from a few friends about my typos on this blog. They beg me to use spellcheck but for some reason spellchecking in blogger screws up my formatting. For a while, I was working with an editor on my early blogs and although he was amazing and always available I just wasn't comfortable with the formality of it.

ANYWAY...

I enjoyed this typo on the NY Times website (front page). It refers to Time Inc. laying people off so they can "focus on on the web"...the world wide web of TYPOS!


By the way, the proper spelling of website is Web site. But that just looks ridiculous. In my opinion, website should be one word and it should all be lower case. But what the fuck do I know?

"Fresh air and sunshine and plenty of grace slam the door in the doctors face."

Dolphins are back today!

Surfing in january! (surfers r hot!)

Treasure-seeker!

I'm blogging on the beach with my phone! Woo hoo!

Children of Men

I hope this is part one of a two part film. If it's only part one then I thoroughly enjoyed it. If, howeever, this is the complete film then I'm frustrated by what I feel is an an incomplete story. Children of men raises lots of fascinating questions and creates lots of wonderful mystery and suspenseful action and then...poof...it ends. Not fair I say! Finish the fucking film, please.

Imagine The Wizard of Oz ending once Dorothy meets the Wizard and we never find out if she gets to return home. Children of Men is alot like Wizard of Oz except in Children Dorothy is pregneant and once Dorothy and child meet the Wizard the film just ends. It's an incomplete film.

Golden Globe Thoughts

Why do people borrow jewelry and wear it out for one night only and then return it the next day. I really don't understand this concept. Is it really exciting to get to wear someone elses bracelet for the night??? What the fuck? And to my untrained eye, all that jewelry doesn't look any better or worse than the shit they sell at Target. Seriously!

Helen Mirren won two best actress awards for playing two different queens named Elizabeth in two different movies. Interesting.

I always want Meryl Streep to win because I love her acceptance speeches. I really worship Ms. Streep even though I walked out of Prairie Companion and I was bored by Prada. But I do love the Streep.

Dreamgirls and Babel shared best pic wins but I don't believe either will win the Oscar.

During his speech, Forrest Whitaker did a perfect recreation of a role he played in the sci-fi thriller, Species. In that film he played a character who "feels things...deeply." Rent it sometime, you'll see what I mean.

How out of it am I that I've never seen any of these TV shows not once: Greys Anatomy, 24, Ugly Betty, 30 Rock, Scrubs, Desperate Housewives, Monk, The Office, My Name is Earl, Entourage, The Sopranos. I simply don't enjoy fiction on TV. Am I missing out? Deprived?

The best acting I've seen all year by an actress is by Judi Dench in the trailer for Notes on a Scandal. Here's hoping the film is as good as the preview.

Jackass 2 and Borat are still my favorite films of the year and I also feel they're the most visceral, most creative, most entertaining, and most important films of the year.

Flags of our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima (two well-reviewed films by a great filmmaker) are being completely ignored by the American public. Could it be that we've simply had enough war this year? I know I have!

I'm always amused when people like my sister call me during the Golden Globes because I'm reminded of how little it all means to most people. For her it's just another monday night. And that's probably how it should be. Hopefully, one day I'll grow up and stop watching all this award show silliness. Hopefully.

Up at 7 AM

I'm a total night owl. I can stay up til 8 or 9 AM then sleep all day and get up at 3 or 4 or 5 in the afternoon. Sometimes I flip though and I go to bed really early and then I'm up at 7 am. Such is the case right now. So, I'm up at 7 am and there is nothing fucking to do but blog. When does Wal-Mart open? Maybe I should get a job.

My 3 dollar Orgasm

Last night after the Golden Globes I was jacking off and after I came I felt something stiff in the pocket of the shorts I was wearing. I reached in and pulled it out and it was 3 wadded up dollar bills. I have no idea how the money got in there because I never wear those shorts out of the house but it was a nice epilogue to a happy ending.

Dreamgirls (part 1)

I saw Dreamgirls. I couldn't have been more excited to see it. I was deeply disappointed with almost everything in the movie but I'm gonna see it again. Maybe now if I go in with no expectatation I'll really enjoy it. And let me be clear, I do not think Dreamgirls was bad at all. But I wanted it to be great. I thought it was completely ho-hum.

And I love musicals.
I loved Chicago.
I really like Bill Condon.
I like Beyonce.
I like Miss Hudson.
I think Jamie foxx is very talented.
Blah, blah, blah.

But for me, the movie was an incredible disappointment. Maybe I'll discuss it in the future but it's so hard to discuss a movie in which every moment is disappointing. Name a moment and yes, it disappointed me. After I saw Chicago on the big screen I remember thinking, "Wow!" After Dreamgirls I was like, ugh". Not ugh like that sucked but "ugh" like, "that could have and should have been soooooooooooooo much better."

I'll probably be specific at some point but in the meantime watch Jennifer Holliday if you want to see PERFECTION! This blows me away every time I see it. And I've seen it many, many, many times and every time I watch I am literally blown away by it's power. Compare this to jennifer Hudsons fine version and there in lies the problem. Jennifer Holliday is nirvana and Jennifer Hudson is just fine but I didn't want Dreamgirls the movie to be fine, I wanted it to blow me away. Oh well. Thank God for you Tube!

The Good Shepherd

I love movies that are smarter than me! While watching this movie I constantly felt that all the men on ther screen were all smarter than I could ever hope to be. I rarely feel that way while watching movies, and not because I'm a rocket scientist, cause Lord knows I ain't, but so many movies are populated by horribly dumb people who do really dumb things. I love the Wizard of Oz but I wouldn't say the characters are intelligent, would you?

So my point is, it's nice to see a film populated with characters who graduated high school unlike, say, Saw 3.

I also think Matt Damon is an actor of great integrity. I love the Bourne movies (very intelligent characters), The Departed (some intelligent characters), loved The Talented Mr. Ripley. I guess it's time for me to see Good Will Hunting.

I don't think The Good Shepherd is turning into a box-office hit so I highly reccomend you see it before it leaves the big screen. It's not a good movie for home viewing if you multi-task at home while watching DVDs. It requires you to concentrate. At least it required me to concentrate, but you're probably smarter than me! In fact, the friends I have who read this blog (Jay, Carolyn, Joseph, Peebles, Thom, Caryn, Donna...are truly much smarter than me. I'm not being humble, truly, I just realized, all my friends are much smarter than me! I think that shows wisdom on my part, don't ya think?

Anyway, go see The Good Shepherd.

And for a interesting discussion about homosexuality in The Good Shepherd, click here.

Babel

I'm not convinced this movie is as great or as important as it pretends to be but having said that, I was completely involved until it was over. But the movie hasn't stayed with me. It hasn't haunted me. The more I think about it the thinner it feels.

Three really interesting things happened for me during the film:

1. About 20 minutes in I was overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude that the filmmaker had made this movie and that I was alive and able to watch it.

2. I was incredibly impressed with the gunshot on the bus. I would say it was the most realistic gunshot I'd ever seen on film.

3. At the last moment of the film, as I knew the credits were about to roll, I was hit by a sense of disappointment. Disappointed because I liked the film so much and I just wanted more. I wanted it's effect to be stronger. I really liked the film. Did I mention that?

I wanted to care more but I couldn't get past the filmmaker. I was so aware of his presence as a writer. I felt him straining to make an important point about something global and to show us how smart he was to balance all these balls about guns and children and language...but the profundity never happened for me. However, I really really, really liked the film...but ultimately I was disappointed. Am I babbling?

Coffy, Foxy Brown and Mae West

Oh man, oh man. How could I have missed these films??? I've been assaulted all week by strong, witty, sexually aggressive women thanks to Ted Turner and his classic movie channel.

First up, Pam Grier in Coffy. I wish I had seen this in a crowded movie theater and not at home. I've always heard about these films but I'd never seen one and suddenly I'm now, officially, a huge Pam Grier fan after having seen Coffy! So much bloodshed, so much titty, so much racism and feminism all rolled into one joyous, blaxploitation epic!

Coffy and Foxy Brown are two of the most insanely, entertaining movies I have ever seen. Ever! Please, Hollywood, do NOT remake these movies unless Beyonce agrees to show her tits at least 12 times.

And then I watched She Done Him Wrong with Mae West...too funny...such an interesting person-actress-icon. I've seen Mae West impersonations but I'd never really seen the real thing. She's so fascinating to watch. I'm not sure what the plot was, something about double-crossing and Russians...I lost interest when West was off-screen but when she was on, I was riveted. I wish there were more actors that fascinated me. So many actors today are just plain boring. I recently saw Sandra Bullock on Charlie Rose, and although I like her, she really had very little to say. She was just plugging her latest film. I want to see Mae West on Charlie Rose! Now that would be worth watching.

I've just ordered Myra Beckinridge from Netflix. Can't wait. I hear it's fabulously horrible! The year is off to a great start thanks to Pam and Mae!

Back to the Sound of Music

What a movie! The Sound of Music is one of the things that's easy to make fun of from afar but sit down and watch it and see a perfect movie. I've just finished it again, all 3 hours of it and I'm blown away by how perfect it is. My memory of the film is that it's sweet and cute and all that but watching it tonight I was struck by how serious it is. It's a movie filled with pain and longing and confusion and sadness. It's actually a very tense film. I'm rewatching it right now, listening to the audio commentary and the wedding scene is playing and even that scene is filled with tension. It's not a bouyant sappy wedding ceremony but a serious event about two people beginning new lives. The Sound of Music is a completely serious film about people and nations in crisis. It's a film about fear.

Maria fears leaving the abbey.
The children fear their father.
The Captain fears his heart.
The Baroness fears Maria.
Liesl fears losing Rolf.
Everyone fears Germany.

It just goes on and on.

The scene after the wedding is followed with a chilling juxtaposition of shots of marching Nazis. I love this movie, more than ever. I did some Googling to see what happened to the kids in the film and I found this cool page hosted by Angela Cartwright, the actress who played Brigitta. She has a web page explaining what all the kids have done and are doing with their lives. She has a blog, too. Who doesn't these days?

Click here to check it out:

http://www.angela-cartwright.com/soundof.htm

I've always felt a connection to this film because my mother loved it and we would all watch it together as a family. My childhood memories of the movie focus on the wholesomeness but seeing it today as an adult I'm struck by how much better it is than I ever understood. I never thought about things like lighting as a child but this movie is so beautifully lit. I also never understood how Maria and the Captains conflict in the early part of the film perfectly mirror the conflict the Captain has with the military at the end of the film.

In the first half of the film Maria fights with the Captain to get the kids out of uniforms and stop running the house like the military and by the end of the film the Captain is fighting to keep himself out of uniform and out of the military. It's an interesting reversal.

Anyway, I know this isn't news but The Sound of Music is a truly stunning film. I'm in awe.

Batter Up!

My friend Craig and I went and plated miniature golf and then hit balls at the batting cage. Craig kicked my butt at golf though I did hit a hole-in-one! Woo-hoo! And here's the interesting part...in the batting cage, I swear to God, I hit every single ball but one...and they went far, too! I was shocked. I haven't swung a bat (insert joke) since high school. Maybe I missed my calling! Check out Craig below in of the few times he actually hit the ball..LOL. Cool pic, huh? Check out the streak of the ball.

Fry's Aquarium

A trip to Frys Electronics equals a trip to the local aquarium. You walk in and are met with a huge tank. See below!

And the cafe is surrounded by huge, floor to celing tanks of fish. It's pretty cool, actually. Maybe, I'll go back just for lunch.

I love this!

What a way to start the year!

Just when I thought I had seen it all, I found this on Craigs List today:

_______________________________________________________________

Space Alien Erotica and crossdressing? Any Fun Older Men game?



Looking for an Older Man (atleast 50) who likes roleplay, scifi, and boys in girls clothes. Be clean and disease free hiv negative discreet and fun. Imagine this, its the year 2050 and a reptilian alien race seeks refuge on earth. I'm an alien female, and your a human male. You ask me on a date, drinks and movie at your place, we're both apprehensive but curious. I'm dressed in something sexy with lingerie on under. We have drinks and get a little tipsy and horny. We start talking about sex, we discover we have similar sex organs and after some flirting get sexual. I attached a photo of the alien make up i'm ordering, have to order some clothes, would be good if you have some womens clothes for me to wear, but not required. Email me.