Jesus is sexy! LOL

A minor controversy erupted today on a theater message board about these pics. Someone said they made Jesus look like a porn star. I know a thing or two about porn stars and I'm not agreeing or disagreeing but you'd have to be blind not to see that Jesus is hot. And those thorns on his head don't seem at all uncomfortable. And is he wearing lip gloss? I love these photos.

Click here to go to the company website for Jesus Christ Superstar.

Click here to go to the theater message board.

Emulating Women

The next time you hear a gay person complaining about how mistreated we are in America send them a link to this article:

20 arrested at Saudi gay wedding

August 16 2006 at 08:01PM

Riyadh - Saudi authorities arrested 20 young men after raiding a suspected gay wedding in the southern town of Jizan, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.

The detainees, who were among some 400 men attending "the wedding party of two men" on Tuesday, had been "emulating women," the Al-Watan paper said.

In all, some 250 people were detained in the police raid on the party but the rest were later released.

Police had "arrested the wanted people and released those who have nothing to do with the matter," the paper quoted a police commander as saying.

Some guests were also seen chewing qat, an illegal narcotic widely used in neighbouring Yemen, on a hill above the square where the party was being held, Al-Watan said.

Homosexuality is illegal in conservative Saudi Arabia, which metes out strict punishments based on sharia, or Islamic law. - Sapa-AFP

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They were arrested for emulating women! Can you imagine if they arrested people in America for emulating women? I'd spend most of my time in jail! lol

I love America! I do!

This movie looks good, too!

Real good! LOL It's called The Covenant but I think it should've been called Swimmers Build: the movie!

Borat is coming!!!!!

I was howling and clapping today during the new trailer for the upcoming movie, Borat, starring Sacha Baron Cohen.

I worship this man. Cohen is a genius! Period!

If the movie is half as good as the trailer I will be in heaven.

Check out both trailers. I think Trailer 2 is actually better but they both fill me with joy:

Trailer 1

Trailer 2

PS I went to see Talladega Nights today cause Sacha Baron Cohen is in it playing a French race car driver but I left after 30 minutes. I just lost interest in the ballad of Ricky Bobby.

What's next, Les Spindle?

I was very sad to read that Les Spindle, long-term theater critic for Frontiers Magazine, was no longer working for the magazine. I never met anyone in Los Angeles who was a bigger champion of local gay AND straight theatre. I'd often run into him at the French Market and he always seemed excited to tell me about some new hit play he had recently discovered and reviewed. He made me want to see shows. He loves theatre.

I'm sure it ain't easy being a theatre critic. You have to sit thru alot of crap night after night, but Les never showed signs of fatugue. He never seemed jaded or bitter or angry. Even when he criticised a show he would find encouraging things to say and he never wrote off an artist just because they produced a bomb or two.

When I recently read he'd left Frontiers I couldn't help but feel we were at the end of an era in LA theater. Les understood the scene because he saw so many plays and he could discuss a playwrights progression and history and compare their work to other plays he'd recently seen. He was the only critic I read that consistently discussed themes and trends in local gay theater because he saw EVERYTHING and he understood the scene! And his reviews were more than just reviews, they were also mini-history lessons. He had this wonderful ability to make things sound important. He'd write about a play in a 50 seat theater playing to 10 people with as much passion as a show in a 2,000 seat theatre. He treated everyone with the same respect and interest. He wasn't bamboozled by big-budget productions and he never pandered to advertisers.

Les is not a close friend of mine. I can't tell you the direction his life is going but I hope he continues to cover theatre. LA needs him. Sometimes a review in Frontiers by Les was the only support a play would ever receive. I haven't personally spoken to Les about his departure and if I do and he gives me any news I'll be sure to pass it on.

I sincerely hope his life as a theatre critic is merely in transition and not yet over. It won't be as fun doing shows in Los Angeles if Les Spindle isn't in the audience.

Goo-goo, ga-ga!

A friend sent me a link to a sex site and I stumbled upon this pic. I'd heard of this fetish but had never actually seen pics of it. Intriguing to say the least. They look like actual huggies. Supossedly, I once hired an actor who was into infantilism and actually took a crib on tour but I never saw it for myself. I don't think they make huggies for guys my size so I think it's a fetish I won't be taking up anytime soon though I'm often accused of acting like an infant.

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DIAPER UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!

After posting the above on my blog it occured to me that the web must be full of men-in-diaper pics, so I did a little Googling. Oh Lord. The first thing I found was this site: www.DailyDiapers.com

And the above pic was the featured pic of the day. I have now, officially, seen it all.

World Trade Center/Brokeback Movie Trivia

Interesting casting choice. The actor, Peter McRobbie, who plays the dad of Maggie Gyllenhaal in World Trade Center is the same actor who plays the dad of Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. Is this an inside joke on the part of Oliver Stone. I found it distracting but amusing.

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And while we're on the subject of Brokeback Mountain. Below is a pic of the two guys, I believe, killed Jack Twist, (Jake Gyllenhaal).



These guys are in one frame of the trailer but they didn't make the final cut of the movie. Notice the guy holding the tire iron. In the original trailer they cut to these guys as Ennis discusses his fears about getting killed. They are obviously mechanics, so did Jacks car break down and then they killed him when he asked for help?

And while we're on the subject of the trailer here are two more shots taken from the trailer that are not in the final cut: Jack and Ennis driving in the truck together. Where are they going?

9/11 Box Office

What do these numbers mean? How does a movie with no advance buzz (Step Up) make more money than a movie about the most important global event in the last 5 years (World Trade Center)? I really don't understand. I saw World Trade Center on Friday and I admit, I wasn't excited to see it , but I feel it's my duty to watch these stories. The movie is brutal and often hard to watch but these are real modern-day heroes. Superman grossed 180 million dollars. Why are we more interested in stories about fake heroes than stories about real ones? I'm not complaining, I'm asking. It's a mystery to me.
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Teen girls surprised the industry on Friday powering the dance drama Step Up into the number one spot with an estimated $8.6M in its first day of release. Step Up could collect $21-23M far exceeding expectations.

Paramount's 9/11 drama World Trade Center, debuted with an estimated $6M on Friday in its third day in theaters.

Nominated 8 years ago! LOL...

...and no one bothered to tell me. This is very funny. By the way, it's an honor just to be nominated.


1998 Golden Satellites Awards
The nominees of the 2nd annual Golden Satellites Awards for the year 1997 were announced by the International Press Academy (a splinter group of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which hands out the Golden Globe Awards) on December 15th, 1997.

Documentary Film

4 Little Girls
Directed by Spike Lee

Other Nominees:
Fast, Cheap & Out Of Control
Directed by Errol Morris

Hype!
Directed by Doug Pray

Shooting Porn
Directed by Ronnie Larsen

Sick: The Life And Death Of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist
Directed by Kirby Dick

Click here to see the other nominees that year.

Satellite Awards Home Page

Stupid Thoughts

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SNAIL MAIL
I love my pet snail...I nick-named him AOL! I bought a pet snail for my aquarium and he/she/it is incredibly entertaining...I go in the room and he's on one side of the glass...then I go back 5 minutes later and he's on the other side. He gets around really fast. Why do I think he's a boy. Am I sexist?

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JUST DO IT
I just answered 40 e-mails. I LOVE seeing an empty e-mail box. The trouble is it never stays empty and then I procrastinate answering and they pile up! Oy vey! I want to learn how to respond right away even if my response is simply,"i don't have to time to respond properly right now but i will as soon as I have some time." I think that would be so much better than letteing them pile-up and getting overwhelmed.

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15.83???
I bought three ice cream cones today at The Grove for me and two friends and the total was 15.83! Is that insane? You can get ice cream cones at McDonalds for 49 cents. I could have bought 30 ice cream cones at McDonalds and given them to strangers. That would have been a better use of money! Maybe I'll do that an videotape it.

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COMPLIMENTING YOUR ENEMIES
Here is a moral dilemma: If you see something on the web that you like by someone you don't like should you compliment them even if you don't like them and they don't like you. I want to tell this person I like something I saw that they did but I don't want them to think I like them. I just admired the work! LOL What should I do? Any suggestions?

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BLOG or CLOG
I always feel good after I blog. I feel like I accomplished something. And I love it whem my friends blog everyday. So why don't I make time to blog everyday? Blogging is like purging to me or douching. It gets "it" out of my body! When I don't blog I start to feel clogged.

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GOOGLING
Some things are better left un-Googled. I recently Googled one thing but ended up two hours later reading all about something else. That something else was Kevin Smith attacking all of his critics and trying to convince anonymous posters on RottenTomatoes.com that his movie is not a box-office flop. He is such a fighter. It was fascinating reading, like looking at a train wreck but it was also depressing. I felt dirty after reading it. I don't care about Clerks 2 on any level but I got sucked into reading this thread because it was filled with drama but afterwards I felt dirty. I don't think I've seen a Kevin Smith film since Clerks 1. I admire his bite but I also in a way feel sorry for him. Kevin, who cares what anonymous posters on the web write about you? Don't you have a baby to raise?

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SHITTY MOVIES
Last year I blogged that the best place to be in December was in a movie theater. Theaters were filled with great movies. Flash-forward 6 months. I stare at the movie listings and try to convince myself to see Monster House or John Tucker Must Die but I can't. These movies that are out right now are sooo uninteresting. I love going to movies but there is nothing i want to see. I will probably go see Miami Vice again just cause there's nothing else I want to see. I can't wait for Borat. Sascha Baron Cohen is a genius, a modern day Chaplin. I will probably go see Talladageh Nights just to see him but that's another movie that really doesn't interest me. Did I spell Talladageh, correctly?

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NO MORE BUFFETS
Everytime i walk into a buffet I get so excited. I'm filled with hope and excitement thinking about all that food I'm gonna eat. Then I eat one plate and I'm full and I feel disgusting. i do not pig-out at buffets. I really don't. But I never walk out happy. I always feel stuffed and bloated. It's a gross way to eat and I always regret it afterwards. But yet, I keep going back. I have swornn never to return to Hometown Buffet. I hope I can stick to that!

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PLUMBING
I kid you not, it took me 8 hours but I fixed my own plumbing and now it works flawlessly. I won't go into the details cause, frankly, it was a looooong process and I made lots of mistakes and wasted lots of time but now I have great water pressure and my garbage disposal works again! Happy day!

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SHAKIRA and MARY J. BLIGE: WHO ARE YOU?
I stay up with pop-culture. I know your names. But I can not name ONE song that either of you has recorded. Are you guys really famous singers or do you just have cool names that get in the papers alot?

And those are my stupid thoughts for the day. Have a good Friday!

Happy Birthday to me!

Yesterday, was my birthday. I'm not a nostalgic person when it comes to dates, in fact, I only remember two that concern me. The day I was born, Feb. 14, 1969 and the day I was born again, August, 4 1994.

August 4, 1994 was the premiere of my first play: Scenes From My Love Life. For better or for worse, my life changed that night. If you're interested in the details around that event you can click here and listen to me discuss it while I was driving to Palm Springs last year.

http://www.ronnielarsen.com/audio/RLAudio%20Scenes%20From%20My%20Love%20Life%20etc..mp3


Anyway, I never wanted to be a playwright, it wasn't my dream growing up. But while in SF I wrote a little play about my sex life and it got rave reviews and made a litle money and because of that experience I continued writing plays exclusively for the next 10 years.

Not all plays work on opening night, in fact, most of the time most don't, but on that night, in that theater, with the cast and that script, things worked and my life as a playwright began.

I often wonder what I would have done had the played failed miserably. Would I have written more plays? I certainly wouldn't have met some of the people that positively impacted my future projects. So for me, everything changed on that night. And every year I always think about August 4th, 1994 and the actors and my producer and the theater and my friend who came to rehearsals and promised me that they play would would work. It's the only date, besides my birthday that I ever remember. And it's the only cast I ever worked with that I feel completely nostalgic about.

Scenes From My Love Life
Original Cast
Theater Rhino, Studio

ISAAC......Bixby Elliott
CHRIS......Christian Canterbury
STEVE......Mitch Ellis
RICHARD....Patrick O'Connor
MIKE.......Drue Macintosh
BILL.......Eric Womack
LARRY......Michael Cronin
ALLEN......Frank Willey
GENE.......Neal Shorstein


Producer: Caryn Horwitz
Supportive Friend: Barry Horwitz

The play never worked as well as it did that first month in that theater with that cast in San Francisco on August 4th, 1994 and I never enjoyed working in the theater as much as I did for that one month with those people in that 54 seat theater.

Click to read more about the play.

Sleeping in Porn Theatres

I blame a combination of conservative politics and the abundance of internet porn for the demise of the American Porno theatre. Slowly but surely they are shutting down and the ones left standing are empty. Why go to a theater and watch porn when you can stay home and masturbate in front of your PC? I, of course, don't go for the porn. Believe it or not, porn doesn't interest me as something to watch. I go to porn theatres for the anything-goes action. I could write a book about the "complicated activities" I've seen in these places but todays blog is not about sex in a porno theater, it's about the lack of it. Specifically, the lack of it in Pahrump on Friday afternoon!

I stumbled onto this porn theater in Pahrump, Nevada about 9 months ago. It is officially the slowest porno theatre I have ever been in. Hours can pass without anyone entering but when people do show up, action begins right away and the men are consistently hot. When I say hot, I don't mean they look like Hugh jackman. Hot to me is blue-collar, rough-around-the-edges, white-trash, lower-middle class, married, family man, trucker, construction worker...you get the idea.

So my friend and I are heading to Vegas last Friday and we get to Pahrump at 3 am and get a hotel. I wake up at 7 am and head over to the "cinema" hoping to meet some blue-collar dude on his way to work and from 7 am to 10:30 AM, no one shows up! NO ONE! I sit there for three hours watching the same boring porno movie, over and over.

This movie was filmed in Italy but dubbed by very good British actors and the effect is nauseatng. The Italian actors were bland, expressionless and sexy. The British dubbers were flamboyant, articulate and extremely upper-class. It made for ridiculous viewing.

No one comes in and I'm getting tired. Then, finally, two white trash guys show up. One guy is hot but he jacks off quickly and leaves and the other guy is too trashy even for me. He smoked and limped at the same time, not a turn-on. So then my friend shows up and we decide to go get lunch. We come back in an hour and the place is still completely empty. At this point it felt a little like slots. You can't walk away cause you know you might get lucky 777's at any moment.

Meanwhile, my friend is outside chatting up the owner while I'm inside nodding off. I decide I need to sleep but we already checked out of the hotel. So I go outside and I talk to the owner and he says, "just sleep in the theater. People do it all the time, it's the cheapest hotel in town."

This is truly a nice porno theater, it's superclean, carpeted, brand new seats, no peeling paint, no trash on the floors; it's spotless...but still, it's a FRIGGING PORNO THEATER! I can't sleep on the floor of porno theatre, that's too disgusting, even for me. I have standards!

But I'm so tired.

And that's when I cross the line, a new level of depravity...I lay down...on the floor of this porno theater in the middle of Pahrump, Nevada and I go to sleep. And it is the most relaxing, peaceful sleep I have had in ages. I wake up a few times and each time the place is still empty. For 5 peaceful hours I sleep on the floor of the porno theatre and no one comes in and no one disturbs me. And when I wake up, the first thing I think is,"Oh my God! I can't believe I just slept on the floor of a porno theater!" And then I think, "this'll be good for my blog!" And then I think, "I'm so lucky to have a life like this that allows me to have adventures in places like Pahrump, Nevada."

And then I think,"Oh my God, what is wrong with you??? How could you sleep on the floor of a porno theatre???" But honestly, there is something very peacful about resting in a place where no one can reach you.

Some people go to day spas, I go to porn theaters.



I took this pic with my camera phone: see the sexy Italian porn actress. Now imagine her sounding like Dame Judi Dench while she discusses fellatio and voyeurism.

I got this via e-mail, today.

I swear when I read this I literally had noooo idea what movie they were referring to. I had completely forgotten it. But it was sweet of them to want to send me a DVD but i refuse to buy DVD's anymore unless it's a movie I know I will watch more than once.
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Hi,

I was just browsing the 'net and found your The Sentinel-related blog entry:

http://ronnielarsen.blogspot.com/2006/04/inside-manslitherthe-sentinelbasic.html

and I think you may be of some help to me. I'm reaching out to you on behalf
of M80 & FOX regarding the release of The Sentinel on DVD. Since you blogged
about The Sentinel, I thought that you might be interested in posting the press
release or a review of the DVD on your blog? You seem like a reputable
influencer, so I think you'd be a big help to us. For your help or review, I would be happy
to send you a copy of The Sentinel on DVD.
Please let me know if you're interested!
Thanks!

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Somehow, I don't think me blogging about The Sentinel is going to a "big help" to anyone but I like being called a "reputable influencer"! I've never been called THAT before! In fact, if I've ever influenced anyone before I hope I didn't influence them to be reputable!

I don't get it!

People wait in this line everday to have a hot dog at Pinks in Los Angeles. The line often wraps around the building. This phenomenon is a total mystery to me. I'll take a hot dog from 7-11 anyday over the lines at Pinks.

I actually think that people in LA go there because its an institution and not because the hot dogs are that good. Last time I went there and sat outside I was attacked by flies and I sat next to that guy from Saturday Night Live who played the Bryan Fellows character, I think his name is Tracy Morgan.

New York has The Statue of Liberty, London has Big Ben and LA has Pinks Hot Dog Stand. It's sort of sad, don't you think? A hot dog stand is the only think that brings the people of LA together for a daily communal experience that doesn't involve cars. The only reason I went there was because it's across the street from Jiffy Lube but since I no longer use Jiffy Lube, I may never have another Pinks hot dog. Am I sad? Not one bit.


UPDATE: My friend Carolyn Anhalt suggested I cook my own hot dogs and directed me to this pic. Carolyn is always one step ahead of the rest of the world! I love you, Carolyn. Let's make a movie!