Doom

People who eat dog shit have no right to complain about the taste.

I love shitty movies so telling you Doom sucked doesn't really feel right. I read the reviews, they were horrible. I saw the trailers, they were horrible. Most video game movies are horrible. I knew all this going in but still I bought a ticket? Why? Cause I must enjoy the taste of dog shit.

I'm not gonna critique this movie except to tell you I left after 30 minutes. Basically, I left after I was done with my popcorn and there was nothing left to distract me.

At times my focus wandered over to the red exit sign, I would stare blankly at it, thinking, and then suddenly realize I'm supposed to be watching the movie. That's how uninvolved I was.

I will however use this time to show you how smart I am. In the movie is an actress who plays an American scentist. She has a brother who is an American Marine. I knew right away that this actress was British because her America accent was so bad. SO BAD!

A Brit doing a bad American accent is so distracting. They tend to try and flatten everything out and it ends up sounding part southern, part New York, part California and part British. Sort of the way Madonna sounds when she forgets she's from Michigan (but in reverse).

So I came home and checked the Internet Movie Database for Doom and sho-enough she was in Die Another Day and I'm certain she kept her accent in that movie.

I'm so fucking smart. (I wish)

For another Brit doing a distracting American accent see Sean Bean in North Country.