When Winona Meet Sally

Just watched Winona on Larry King talking about...well about everything...why do these celebrities feel the need to go on tv and talk about what disasters they are? I ask it with love. Nothing against Winona but what did she accomplish just now except for reminding everyone she got a DUI, which i had totally forgotten about. And she kept referring to "Winona music" as if "Winona music" is a genre. I just checked iTunes and no they don't have Winona listed as a genre. And she talked about how lonely it is living in hotels, blah blah blah...really, we all know celebrities are miserable, how could they not be? But what is served by going on talk shows and reveling in your horrible mistakes. Any fascination I had with Winona is officially over, now i just feel sorry for her...sort of like the way I feel about Whitney Houston after watching Being Bobby Brown. TV used to create intriguing fantasy, (Charlies Angels, anyone?) but now all we get is depressing reality. (Danny Bonaduce, anyone) I'm not complaining but if i were these peoples publicist I would tell them to keep the dirty laundry in the closet. But what the fuck do I know?

Phoenix! Phoenix! Phoenix!

god i love phoenix...i'm not kissing phoenix's ass but i really do love it...for one thing they have the greatest collection of dirty bookstores in the entire country. Zorbas in Scottsdale is this amazing store with booths with little windows where you can see other customers jacking off...its very hot indeed...and the food in phoenix...i'm not saying the food is good or bad but i am saying there is plenty of it 24 hours a day...there are drive thrus, buffets and a circle K on every corner! And the parking...oh lord i love the parking! Soooooooooo much parking! No meters....just seas and seas of open parking lots! after spending a month in San francisco driving around looking for parking spots and getting 40 dollar parking tickets three days in a row...well trust me when i say i appreciate those phoenix parking lots.

And the people are fucking nice too....no attitude, no bullshit....the people are very down-to-earth...it's too hot in phoenix for bullshit....no one has any energy for it...you can't be pretentious when your sweating in 115 degree weather!

so i'm very disapointed i won't be spending the month of october acting in my play 10 Naked Men for the alternative theatre company. i was very excited about spending a month in a city i worship. and believe me i've spent a lot of time touring in cities i did not worship...can you spell DETROIT! I spent 4 weeks in detroit doing 10 naked men. oh lord! more about that another time. though i did have my first white castle burger in detroit so i guess it wasn't a total wash...and the audiences were very, very appreciative...they laughed like they had never seen a gay naked comedy before...well come to think of it, they probably hadn't.

but ANYWAY.............

SO INSTEAD OF DOING 10 NAKED MEN WE'RE DOING MAKING PORN INSTEAD

Matthew Rush is still coming to town and I'll be there all week directing and driving everybody crazy but after that I have to go. i can't spend the month in phoenix due to some things that have come up in my personal life but phoenix will have the thrill of Matthew Rush in Making Porn for the whole 5 weeks. and i do mean thrill... You havent lived til you've seen matthew covered in white fluid at the end of act one...its quite a sight....worth the price of admission

by the way are you enjoying my complete lack of sensible punctuation...it's a skill i picked up from reading the LA Times. (just kidding, i love the LA Times...they love me too, that's why they call me once a week begging me to subscribe...does anyone still read newspapers? why read a paper when i can read it online the night before????? and why are we talking about this?

SO...... NO 10 NAKED MEN BUT PLENTY OF MAKING PORN IN OCTOBER IN PHOENIX! HAPPY HALLOWEEN BOO

SEE YOU AT THE THEATRE!!!!!!!!!!

Fashion Trance Cures Cancer

Well it was a fascinating night with the parents....my mom has been struggling with cancer for many many years now. On and off with the chemo for literally years. I was raised in Bakersfield, California and that's where my parents still live. So I'm up visiting my parents tonight and my mom confesses that her new favorite TV show is Fashion Trance.

Has anyone besides my mother heard of this show???? It's on the style network.

It's literally JUST fashion shows unedited with little comments on the screen like, "fans of this designer include, Nicole Kidman. Cameron Diaz. Tom Cruise." The clothes are of course ridiculous but my mom loves it. She's fascinated by how the models walk.

"They cross their feet over each other wen they walk. How do they do that?"

So my dad goes to bed and we watch it. We are now officially both in a fashion trance!!

Me: Mom, I don't get it, why do you like this show?

Mom: It's just very entertaining.

Me: But why?

Mom: I don't know, i just like it. (pause) Look how skinny she is. (pause) Why don't they smile? (pause) You know they didn't always use to cover the nipples. They just started doing that.

Me: What nipples?

(Thank god for Tivo. My mom rewinds the show and yep, you can see the nipples thru the fabrics. No bras.)

Mom: Sometimes they blur them and sometimes they don't.

We sit. We watch. We remain in a fashion trance. The show ends. Bedtime. My mother sleeps in a lazyboy/recliner. I stand up go to hug her. You have to be gentle. She shows me a lump on her head that decreased recently thru chemotherapy. I give her a kiss. She tells me she loves me. I tell her I love her. I retire to the bedroom. Close the door. Open my laptop. Log on to the internet and read that..."

"Renee Zellwegger is anulling her marriage to Country singer Kenny Chesney after only four months. The reason she claims is fraud."

Fraud??? Fraud!?!?!?! What the fuck? I'm shaken from my fashion trance and dying to know more!

Love, Death and Jason Alexander

I'm falling in love with a woman named Tracy. She is one of the genuises who works at the genuis bar at the Grove. She is soooo great and smart and can fix any problem. I hope they pay her alot. She radiates intelligence and she's very beautiful. if i were straight i would certainly have the hots for her.

i love the Grove. it is my favrite place in LA. See a movie, eat, go to the Apple Store, buy a computer.

Today i stood by the pond and talked to Adam Beckworth about the death of our dear friend Robert Young. We are both devastated by his death. We cried and cried and cried...

...as i was crying jason Alexander walked by and strolled into crate and barrel. Such an LA experience. He was a with a very elegant woman all in white who looked like an assistant. He strolled two feet in front of her. It seemed clear they were not equals. I actually met a guy on the internet who supposedly writes for that Jason Alexander sitcom..not sure if its still on the air...i met him and went to his house and blew him...he said "we know the show isn't good but oh well the craft services is amazing. They feed us well and everyone on the show is very nice." i asked him if he thought Jason Alexander thought it was a bad show. i don't remember his response. i remember now i also worked with an actress once who was a personal assistant to jason Alexander...she said it was the most anal retentive house she had ever seen...everything was labeled and catalogued and inventoried. So they always knew how many light builbs were in the house and etc etc etc. i seem obsessed with Jason Alexander, today.

i rarely see celebrities in LA. here are my sightings i recall...

Tyne Daly at Bed Bath and Beyond buying towels
Mark McGrath at Marmalade Cafe
Billy Crystal at the 3rd street promenade
Geena Davis at the opening day of Gladitor at the CineramaDome
Quentin Tarantino walking down the street holding a notepad
Quentin Tarantino at a press screening for Get Shorty
Quentin Tarantino at the premiere of Pecker
Judith Light after a performance of my play Making porn (what she was doing there I will never know)

Actually recently in DC a very conservative reporter for Fox news Channel came to see 10 Naked Men...i recognized him right away but no one else did. He came with a woman. They acted like they were a couple. Somehow i doubt they were. LOL
I'm thinking of alot more celebrities i've run into now...alot actually now that i think about it... but i'm too tired to write more.

Goodnight.

My First Blog

i'm gonna try this blogging thing over the next few weeks...see how it goes...see if i like it...it might be an interesting outlet...not sure....

i love all this new technology but it also feels overwhelming and i'm not sure one should use technology just cause one can but i LOVE strangers. i love communicating with strangers...i work in the theatre and thats the nature of theatre, communicating with strangers...so this might be a good thing...it might be an extension of my theatre work.

we'll see