Cindy and His Wife

I met Cindy in Oceanside a few years ago while living in a hotel and working on a play called Cocksucker. Today, I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart buying all-purpose windex and I look over and I see Cindy with his beautiful wife. I was just on the phone with him two days ago. Cindy is actually Richard; a macho, retired military man who cross dresses on the side. He keeps his drag clothes hidden in his golf bag. He dresses up a few times a month and loves sucking cock. Cindy and his wife laugh as they unload their shopping cart full of stuff. Clearly, they love each other but what would she say if she knew she was married to a cross-dressing cocksucker? What would she think if she found the garters and the wig and the high heels stuffed in the golf bag? What lie would he tell her to wriggle out of the mess and keep "Cindy" a secret? Me, I have no secrets. My friends have no secrets. We brag about our fetishes over lunch. But I wonder how many Marines in Oceanside have secrets tucked away in golf bags. It must be exhausting keeping all those secrets. Oh, the complex lives of heterosexuals. It's so much easier being gay.
________________________________________

*All names have been changed. I'm nothing if not discreet.

déjà vu

déjà vu |ˌdā zh ä ˈvoō| noun a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.
Usually when a national tragedy explodes I turn on the news and stay glued to the set but not today. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. 32 people killed; I go to the gym. I shop for windex and I make lunch. Why don't I care this time? Why is it not registering? They call it the worst massacre in US History and I think to myself, "was 9/11 not a massacre?"

The pundits, the locals, the students, the community, EVERYONE is shocked, everyone but me. School shootings don't shock me anymore. I don't even care about the details. The shooter is Asian. So what? He was mad at his girlfriend. Who isn't? He had a bunch of guns. Who doesn't?

The news in this story is that there isn't any news. We've seen this story many times before. After a while it all just feels like déjà vu.

Higher Education

You wake up, take a shower, head to school and by 10 AM you're dead.

"At least 32 people were killed and more than two dozen wounded at Virginia Tech university on Monday in the deadliest campus shooting in U.S. history, media said."

I Feel Dirty (in a good way)

I hit a new low last night, even for me! I blew a guy on the porch of his mothers double-wide in a rundown trailer park 10 blocks from my house. It wasn't even in the trailer it was on the damned porch. I don't know why but he actually sleeps on the porch! I didn't ask why, I just sucked his dick. I imagined he was a lecherous uncle and he was forcing me to suck his dick on the porch while my white trash parents slept inside.

I've never sucked dick in a mobile home before but I've always wanted to. The porch doesn't really count but it put me one step closer to achieving my dream. What is it about white trash that I find so damned appealing? It must have something to do with Bakersfield roots and all those white trash schoolmates I use to fool around with. I guess it's true what they say: You can take the boy out of Bakersfield but you can't take Bakersfield out of the boy. Oceanside is like Bakersfield on the beach, so I guess, in a way, I've come home.

Courtney Love(s) Typos

You think I can't spell??? You think I have typo problems??? Holy cow! I just found this link to a blog Courtney Love wrote regarding her recent weight loss:

"I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont ?vomit inot a towel? it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,"

Now those are some serious typos!

I'm big in Japan

Many of my YouTube videos seem to be getting embedded in Asian websites. I guess my videos really do transcend barriers of language and speak to cultures worldwide. Maybe with my new found international fame I can bring about important global changes. The possibilities are endless now that I'm an international icon. I think I'll start a foundation like the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation but much better!

Spoiled Endings

I have Amores Perros from Netflix waiting to be watched. I've put it off cause it's loooong and subtitled. So I'm listening to talk radio today and the DJ's are discussing a movie about dogfighting and one says, "Well, I don't want to give away the end but I cried because...", he then proceeds to give away what I assume are major plot points. The he says, "I won't say the name of the movie but here's how it ends..." And I'm thinking to myself, "that sounds like an interesting movie, I wonder what it is?" Then the other DJ bursts out, "Oh, Amores Perres!" Thanks guys.

Entertain Me, Dammit!

First it was a crappy movie then I come home to SNL saved on my tivo and the crap continues. I don't understand why SNL is so up and down every week. Same people, same talents but some weeks it seems like every skit just goes nowhere. And I really love this cast; I find them to be extremely likable and charismatic but the skits this week...not good. Am I in a bad mood tonight or did SNL really suck? Hopefully, it was just me.

Perfect Stranger

I wanna hear Oprah say, "My guest today is Halle Berry and her latest movie is another stinker just like Catwoman and Gothika. Halle, I love ya but you sure do make some crappy movies!"

But it's not just Halle, Perfect Stranger features the worst collection of performances ever assembled in one film. It's not filled with bad actors just bad acting. Save Bruce Willis, every performance is dreadful. And actually, the worst offender is the once-promising and not-untalented Giovanni Ribisi who continues his depressing slide into hammy self-indulgence. Is this the same actor who was so spot on in Saving Private Ryan and Lost in Translation. Watch the abysmal film Basic where Ribisi plays a gay soldier? His performance ranks with Carey Elwes in Saw and James Franco in Annapolis as the one of the worst screen performances of all time. But anyway, back to the ironically titled Perfect Stranger or as I call it, Perfect Shit.

I blame the director and casting people cause even the cameos and extras suck. So many tiny roles performed so badly. Bruce Willis is fine; I always like Bruce Willis. Halle Berry isn't completely awful but after Catwoman and Gothika I truly question her judgement in picking directors and scripts. To be fair to the writer, this script might have worked OK with a different cast and a different director but we'll never know for sure.

The more I think about the plot none of it really makes sense. For instance, Bruce Willis plays a famous New Yorker cheating on his wife (this is in the trailers) and we're told he goes out of his way to keep it hidden but then we've got scenes of him making out with Halle Berry in fancy New York restaurants so maybe we should blame the writer. Who knows? I just lost 2 hours of my life to this pile of shit and I don't want to give it another moment of my time.

PS My spellcheck just said I have no misspellings but I bet a good editor can find 10 or 15. Carolyn? Have at it!

More About Grindhouse

Grindhouse was really not necessary. If you think about it, the concept of the Grindhouse never really went away. Each week our cineplexes are filled with crappy, disposable, exploitation junk; junk that I readily buy tickets to, I admit. So what is this nostalgia for the past when the past is still the present. To succeed, the Grindhouse movies by Tarantino and company would've had to be head and shoulders above the current crop of Grindhouse films; The Hills Have Eyes 2, Disturbia, Perfect Stranger, The Reaping, Shooter, Pathfinder, Slow Burn, Red Line, etc.

And another thing, Grindhouse has completely died in its second weekend; it won't even be in the top 10. This indicates, to me, that positive word of mouth for this film just ain't happening.

PS I am sooooo excited to see Perfect Stranger and Disturbia.

Grammar Girl

I'm occasionally criticised by a few of you for my reluctance to spellcheck. Sometimes spell-checking in Blogger screws up the formatting but I've found a way to prevent that so I intend to spellcheck more and more. Spellcheck doesn't catch everything though so it's doubtful this blog will ever be typo free but I'm aware of my short-comings and awareness really is the first step to recovery. I hope this doesn't sound defensive but I'm not a horrible speller I just type very quickly with one finger and I'm a very bad proofreader. But I want to be better. I really do.

And helping me in my quest to be a better blogger is the amazing Grammar Girl. She has a podcast I listen to on the treadmill and I'm trying to retain a few of her tidbits. For instance, she taught me how to use a semi-colon; I'd never really used one before I listened to her. A semicolon is used to join two different but connected thoughts in one sentence; I hope I'm right about that. LOL.

So I'm introducing you all to my new friend, Grammar Girl. I hope you like her.

Click here for the Grammar Girl Podcast and Website.

Deuce

The knives are out for Angela Lansbury's return to Broadway. Super-successful playwright, Terrence McNally, who once sent me a postcard and who I greatly admire for being so prolific, has a new play called Deuce about two aging Tennis stars. I won't be seeing it cause I'm not in New York right now and also because, well, I hate going to plays. I do, however, read the theatre message boards and the New York theatre chatters are being ruthless. The play is only in previews but that hasn't stopped people from tearing the whole enterprise to shreds. I've never seen all the "chatters" so aligned and I've never seen such unanimous brutality aimed at one play.

Here's a collection of the brutality:

"There are serious talks going on about closing Deuce before opening night. Everyone backstage knows the play's a dud and Angela doesn't want to go out with a flop. It's been suggested the show close in order to take time off for major rewrites then open again in the fall. However, I doubt the show will ever open." Posted by twsct
___

It is an awful play. It's not a play. You wait and wait and there's nothing there-no big revelation--no subtext--no secrets--no conflict...no payoff for spending 100 minutes with characters you don't give a hoot about. A testament to Ms. Seldes and Ms. Lansbury is that I was still paying attention. The woman next to me paid a lot of money for a nap. I wasn't concerned about them not knowing lines, more that they were forced to say those lines." Posted by Skrigs
___

"To the Producers of Deuce:

If you are reading this board (which you should be), please close this show as soon as possible. It would be a great embarrassment to you, your supremely talented cast, your playwright and all others involved to let this play be ravaged by critics. I've seen a wealth of plays in my day and have never seen a play that has amounted to less that what is currently on stage at the Music Box Theater. In the grand tradition of Broadway, let this play be one that the few who had the chance to see only really know how bad it was, while others speculate, bring to legendary status and long for a revival in a decade or more.

Sincerely,
Your Friend" Posted by Pocket
_____

It really makes one nostalgic for producing plays in the pre-internet era. Have a good Saturday night! Posted by Ronnie

It's Friday the 13th!!! Scary!

Over the next few days I'll be turning this blog into a 3 column blog. I'm very excited about it but formatting might be screwed up for a day or two. I already did it on a practice blog and it worked very well so hopefully this transition will be smooth as well. Have a great weekend. I'm really looking forward to seeing Perfect Stranger and Disturbia; it's a weekend of thrills and thrillers.

Loser of the Week

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said but this whole situation is frightening and disgusting. I feel sorry for EVERYONE involved except Nifong. I hope Nifong becomes a lesson to prosecutors nationwide. Don't rush to judgement, motherfuckers! Remember, you need a little thing called EVIDENCE!

Grindhouse

I've seen the thrilling Kill Bill films numerous times and I loved them so much I wanted all the characters to have their own spin-off films. The Grindhouse films had the opposite effect; I just didn't care that much. I didn't hate them, I just wasn't that interested. After 30 minutes the gimmick got old and I was struck by the fact they spent about 60 million making two "bad low-budget films." There's a saying in the theatre, "Satire is what closes on Saturday night." Audiences are smarter than they get credit for and I think the box office failure of these films is owed to the fact that people figured out, early on, that the movies are basically a satirical tribute to bad films; not a great selling point. I did not hate, I repeat, I did not hate these films but they did leave me cold and can't imagine wanting to see them again.

On a side note: Richard Roeper from Ebert and Roeper called Grindhouse the "most anticipated movie of the year.' They said the same thing about Snakes on a Plane. So here's my question, if these movies are so "anticipated" why do the anticipators not show up opening weekend? Wild Hogs and 300 are the biggest hits of the year so far and I don't think ANYBODY anticipated that! In fact, I know not one person who has actually seen Wild Hogs.

Do I look like Lance Armstrong?

Dear Mr. Obama,

I'm still waiting for you to say something substantive. I often see you on TV but you never say anything. You sure are charming and intelligent but you haven't given me a reason to support you. Do you have any specific ideas or plans because I'm tired of your sweeping generalities.

"The war is bad." "Bush is bad." Education and health care are important." Politicians should be nice to each other."

Listening to you is like listening to one of those wind-up dolls with the string hanging out of it's back. "Blue is my favorite color. I love mommy. Candy is good."

Tell me something real. If elected, what are you gonna do? I want specifics, dammit!

Don Imus is sooooo boring.

Imus says racist and homophobic things all the time. He doesn't offend me because I'm not offended by mumbling old geezers. I am, however, offended by MSNBC for suspending him; they should either fire him or leave him alone. Giving him a two week vacation/suspension is silly and condescending. CBS should just come out and say the truth, "Imus is an asshole but he makes us a lot of money and even though we don't really like him we love the money he makes us so if you don't like his hateful comments get over it or change the fucking channel but we ain't gonna fire him til we find something more lucrative to replace him with. So there!"

This is news to me...

"Before the cremation, Princeton Hospital pathologist Thomas Stoltz Harvey removed Einstein's brain for preservation, in hope that the neuroscience of the future would be able to discover what made Einstein so intelligent."

I had no idea they preserved his brain. Fascinating.

To read about more Einstein and his brain click here.

My Mother The Car

37 years ago my Mom gave me this balloon for Easter and today she gave me a shiny remote control car. Actually the car was a Christmas present from about 5 years ago but I finally took it out of it's package this afternoon. My parents were kind enough to include batteries and as I was putting them in I became overwhelmed with emotion. In some small way, I felt like I was bringing my mother back to life. I turned it on and the revving of the wheels comforted me. I drove it around my driveway and the neighbor kid said, "My mom drives better than you." I continued driving the car, thinking about the life and death of my mother and the profound sense of loss I carry everyday. I'm angry that my mother spent much of her life in suffering and died so young but today my mother was resurrected in the form of a remote control car so it was a happy Easter after all.

Bunnies and Zombies

When did Easter turn into Memorial Day weekend? The gym was totally empty on Saturday though it was fun watching the rabbits play on the grass outside the gym while on the treadmill. My gym sits high on a hill and has big windows with a lovely view and lots
of rabbits and squirrels play on the grass outside. But anyway, I thought Easter was a holiday that lasted about 4 hours on Sunday morning. When I was a kid we woke up, got our baskets, ate candy and then went to church, just like we did on every other Sunday. But this weekend it seems to be a big getaway holiday weekend! So to celebrate Easter and the concept of resurrection I'm going to see the zombie flick, Grindhouse.

My Favorite Easter Egg!

Self Portrait

About 4 years ago I made this at a glass place on my best friend birthday. You arrange the glass then they melt it or burn it, I'm not sure, but anyway...weeks later you get your creation in the mail. My wife, lol, wanted to keep mine and last week she had it framed. I guess she still loves me after all these years.

So here is my self-portait, framed, and ready to be displayed.

I miss Roger Ebert. I really do.

I love Roger Ebert. He truly loves movies and his criteria for judging a movie tends to be did the movie succeed at what it was trying to do. He judges every movie against itself. Get well, Mr. Ebert. I miss you.
Ebert: Despite setbacks, I am feeling better every day :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Movies

Blades of Glory

Loved the costumes and the skating routines and I've always found Will Ferrell to be extremely likable but ultimately this movie is another example of a full length film with only about 25 minutes worth of plot and material. After 30 minutes I felt like I had seen the whole thing. I felt the exact same thing at Talledegah Nights and Elf. Will Ferrell might make a great comedy one day but he hasn't yet.

Dear Sheryl Crow,

Did you really say this about American Idol?

"Let’s face it, it undermines art in every way and promotes commercialism, I am sad people love it so."

Are you kidding me? I went to the movies today and spent 5 minutes watching you promote some Clairol-product-tie-in with your current tour. Are you not aware you are currently starring in a commercial? I'm curious how you reconcile your comment about AI and you're own commercialism.

I guess every day really is a winding road.

Hugs!

Ronnie

Girls & Toilet Seats!

A male friend sent this to me today and I must say, I agree. I've understood this constant female complaining about toilet seats. When I use a toilet I consider it my job to get the seat ready by either putting it up, putting it down or making sure it's clean! What's the big deal, ladies???

"Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

"

Dear Bret, (whoever you are)

I always enjoy reading your comments about movies, unfortunately I won't be seeing Reign Over Me because the trailers kind of creep me out. The whole AdamSandler-as-Bob Dylan-thing sort of strikes me as strange. I admire Adam Sandler and I find him very likable in interviews but he's never made a movie I personally enjoyed (Waterboy)or wanted to see (Click, Reign Over Me). I saw Waterboy on cable and I was shocked that it was a hit movie. I liked the premise of Click but I didn't want to actually see it.

I rarely, almost never go to comedies or simple character studies. I need plot and action. Even a movie like The Queen felt action-packed and full of interesting plot movements but Reign Over Me just strikes me as a movie about "two people learning to live." I'll pass. Am I really missing something?

PS Did you like Zodiac? I'm seeing Blades of Glory, today. Tuesday is free popcorn day here in our little town of Oceanside. Can't wait!

PPS Bret, do you have a blog? I would read yours; you seem to have much to say

Finally, I heard Don Cheadle is so rich he has an elevator in his house. I have a friend who's been to his mansion. Whenever I see Don Cheadle now I picture him in his elevator.

Sounds good to me!

Act Your Age

Note: I wrote this blog last year on April 13th at 8:17 PM. I'm not sure why I never published it but I'm doing lots of spring cleaning so I'm publishing it now. I have about 20 unpublished blog entries I'm gonna either delete or publish this week.


In college when I was 20 years old I had two serious relationships with two older men. When I say older I mean one was over twice my age (CM) and another was 30 years older (a puppeteer...how ironic). I had a great time with both men and they both taught me lots and they both wanted long term committments. One even quit his job to build a life with me. Oh Lord!

I lost interest in both of these relationships and I drifted away. I never really ended them I just sort of disappeared. That's how I remember it. Both men told me I had hurt them and one even said to me, "Wow, I really thought you were mature but now you're really showing your age." Ouch. I've never forgotten that.

For many years I carried guilt about the way those relationships ended and then about three months ago I had a major revelation:

50 year olds who date 20 year olds and then get hurt when the 20 year old moves on are total fucking idiots. What kind of person is a 40 year old who wants to date a 20 year old??? Honestly! If you're dating a 20 year old and you're 25 years older and you put expectations on that person, you need to have your head examined.

I can not believe I carried that guilt for all these years. I actually think I'm owed an apology.

Letting go of guilt is a wonderful thing.

If the two men who "I hurt" happen to stumble upon this blog, feel free to e-mail me an apology. And if any of you reading this are over 40 and obsessed with someone half your age, I beg you to let go and/or get help. And Lord, I beg you, don't ever let me fall in love with someone 20 years younger than myself.

Jakes Outline

It looks thick, don't ya think?

NYC Cam Phone: Boot Dog

I took this pic in New York. So gay.

Love/Hate

According to Google search trends, there's not a thin line between love and hate. People are much more interested in love than hate. I think that's very good news.

The Lookout

Oh my god! There is a great performance in this film by a great actor named Matthew Goode. He's not the lead but he plays the main villain (for lack of a better word). I sat there watching him thinking, "wow, this guy is so good." After checking him on IMDB I realized he's the actor in Match Point, not the male lead but the other male, the rich-upper-class-British one. After watching these two films I'm blown away by the versatility of Matthew Goode. Remember that name: Matthew Goode.

All the actors in The Lookout give extremely excellent performances but Matthew Goode steals the movie and when you compare it with the work he did in Match Point...well he's just very impressive.

And I'm not sure why but the tone of this film reminded me A History of Violence, another strong film with complicated characters. Both movies are plot driven (which I love) but they also have fascinating characters and interesting dialogue. A friend told me today he won't see movies based on my recommendations because I like shitty movies and it's true, I love shitty movies but this movie has, deservedly, gotten very good reviews across the board so go see it and pay attention to the actor who plays Gary Spargo and as you're watching, remind yourself that he's actually British. Or better yet, watch Match Point and then watch The Lookout.

Shooter

I really liked this movie, ALOT! It's a great companion piece to Hills Have Eyes 2. It's another film about patriots battling monsters. Great action, very suspenseful, good acting. And I saw it in a theater packed with Marines and at one point a character does a speech about Bush and the lies he told about WMD's and for a few moments I felt uncomfortable for the audience of these men who signed up to serve the government and are now watching a movie about how corrupt that government is. It was an interesting experience.

Dead Silence

Ventriloquist puppets can be scary but they aren't scary in this movie. The lead actor is beautiful though so I enjoyed it.

The Hills Have Eyes 2

This is the only film I've loved so far in 2007. I literally jumped out of my seat about 10 times. It's a million times better than the first one and it works on many levels. It's a complete metaphor for the war in Iraq. It involves a bunch of young and ill-equipped American military personnel sent to the desert to do a simple job and in the process they get ambushed by a bunch of crazy inhuman creatures. And the violence is hardcore; I have no idea idea why this isn't rated NC-17. I loved this film. If you like scary horror and war movies and political commentary you will LOVE this film.

Never seen this before.

My Unholy Blog

I ate at Wendy's today and my bill was 666. Scary.

I ate at Wendy's today and my bill was 666. Scary.

Lily Tomlin vs David O. Russell

This clip is insane. I can't believe it! Oh wait. I can believe it. I've lived it. If any of you really want to understand the collaborative process in theatre and film, here it is. This shit goes on every fucking day. This is the stuff they never show on those stupid "making of" shows but this is truer to the reality of how "entertainment" gets made. And if Lily had won the Oscar she would have stood up there and thanked her brilliant director for "pushing her so hard." And if David had won he would have thanked the "tireless" Lily Tomlin for putting up with him. The next time you see and actor director saying "how much they loved working together" just think of this clip. And this my friends is why I've been on hiatus for a year and half because life is simply too short to spend your days trapped in rehearsals arguing with people. Peace!

The Host

I was so excited to see this film; the highest grossing film in the history of South Korea. Equal parts horror, sci-fi, family drama and slapstick; the reviews have been great and the film sounded highly original but, alas, I was disappointed. Too much hype, perhaps. Too long, not enough action and characters that began to grate after a while. I didn't hate it but I expected much, much more. American critics are often so self-loathing that they rave about anything made in America and overpraise films from foreign lands. The Host is a perfect example of this. Hade it been made in America with American actors it would've been dismissed. I'm not dismissing The Host but I can't really recommend it either. It's just OK.

Premonition

Who could hate Premonition??? It's 2 hours of serious-inoffensive-silliness. It's one of those insane thrillers that make no sense whatsoever but somehow keeps you involved the whole way through. I don't even think I liked the film but I really enjoyed watching it. I wasn't bored or annoyed and truthfully, I have always liked Sandra Bullock. I think she's an extremely gifted actress in terms of realism and honesty. I never cringe at her delivery only the lines she's delivering and that's the greatness and sadness of Bullock. She is so good at selling material but 80% of the time the material she's selling is weak. And I always feel that she's acting as a producer. She goes out of her way to make all the lines work and make sense but she's never transported me or stirred me or disturbed me the way say, Judi Dench does. Even in lite films like the Bond series I feel that Dench is exploring something deeper than the material but with Bullock I always feel like she's doing her job and doing it very well but she needs better material, better directors, more challenging co-stars and she needs to stop worrying about the box office; she's made plenty of money, already. She's a smart actress and a smart businesswoman but those two hats she wears prevent her from doing either one exquisitely. That's my two cents on Bullock.
To see a list of the mostly mediocre films Bullock has been involved with, click here.

More Than A Feeling

When I was a kid I always assumed the rock group Boston were super cool because my ultra-hip brother had their albums in his collection. My brother was a music fanatic and I knew that anything he thought was "cool" should be liked by me as well. So, I was surprised years later to hear that Boston was critically panned when they first came out. I don't know a lot about Boston but many of their songs are my favorite from that time period and hearing them always makes me nostalgic. So I was very sad to learn that Brad Delp, Boston's lead singer, recently killed himself. Very sad, indeed.

People are so dramatic!

Someone recently sent me this. It's not really my thing but I found it amusing so I'm sharing it with ya'll.

"I am straight, very good
looking, clean and in shape. I fantasy may sound
strange but here goes. I have this fantasy where I am
at a party, very drunk, I pass out, and the a guy
finds me, strips me, and sucks me off. If this
interests you hit me up. Recent photo attached.

Allen"

A weird weekend

I've had a bizarre 48 hours. Have you ever had a two day period where a bunch of little things keep going wrong but it continues long enough that you begin to question your sanity? Nothing big really, just a bunch of stupid stuff. I kept dropping things, I forgot my phone at a store, I left on my bike without my helmet and had to go back to get it, I burned my hand repeatedly with a hot glue gun while doing a home-making project, I couldn't get my bike lock to work for like 10 minutes, I spilled a soda all over the floor...I could go on and on...and of course none of these things mean anything individually but taken as a whole it's been a bizarre series of events. It almost makes me afraid to leave the house. Hopefully, things will return to normal in the next 24 hours.

300

300 is the gayest film of the year and possibly the decade. If you're gay and you don't mind beheadings you will really enjoy this film. The "huge" cast of ripped bodybuilders perform the entire film in black jockstraps. I don't really have much to say about the actual film; its a huge blockbuster, it's gory, it clips along, it's interesting to watch and most importantly, the entire movie is performed in jockstraps. Oh and if you're straight, there's female boobies on display as well so this film really does have something for everyone. What more do you need to know?

The First Day of Summer

Having never lived on the beach before in March, it was a shock to wake up on Sunday and find the ocean filled with sailboats and surfers and happy people frollicking in the waves without wetsuits. Women were sunbathing and people were barbecuing so I guess summer is officially here. I always mark the first day of summer as the opening weekend of the first big blockbuster released by Hollywood but I guess Oceanside is on it's own schedule. I can't imagine going in the water in March but maybe by April. We'll see. So if it's cold where you are and you're ready for summer, come to Oceanside! Summer has begun!

LOL

This picture, literally, made me laugh out loud for about 3 minutes. I'm not sure why? Maybe because I found it in the casual encounters section of Craigs List. Maybe the thought of this bird looking for a casual encounter cracked me up. Or maybe it's just a funny picture. I'm not sure but everytime I look at it I laugh out loud!

Have a great weekend!