Hello-Christmas-Kitty

Well, Christmas is here! I'm very excited. I had a perfect Thanksgiving with my good friend, Craig Fox. No plans were made in advance. I highly recommend making no plans for holidays, it ALWAYS works for me! Wake up with no expectation or agenda, just go with the day! So, I woke up, was getting ready for a movie and Craig called and so we met in San Diego, had a lovely turkey dinner at City Deli then went to see Milk. Sean Penn will surely get another well-deserved Oscar. Milk is a very powerful film about civil rights and politics; the timing of it's release couldn't be better. I cried throughout much of it, yet at the end I felt I had absorbed it all. I feel no need to rush back. I loved it. Every moment. Comparisons with Brokeback seem inevitable. It was the first movie I thought of while leaving Milk. They are connected, no doubt. Cousins, maybe. Harvey Milk's pride and optimism is a fascinating counterpoint to Ennis Del Mar's repression. Gus Van Sant does an incredible job but try as he does he never achieves the poetry of Brokeback. Milk is just a very well-made film, an absolutely rare thing these days, for sure, and I hate to be a Grinch but I'll never forget the experience of seeing Brokeback and running back in to the theatre, seeing it over 10 times, struggling with it, never understanding it fully. Then watching it lose the Oscar to Crash. Ugh. Flash forward to Milk. The films are linked in my mind and Brokeback makes Milk feel like a lesser film. Milk is about a HUGE movement and Brokeback is about a quiet relationship and yet Brokeback seems like a massive masterpiece and Milk is just a really, really good film. Maybe it does Milk a disservice to compare them but for me, they are unquestionably connected.

Anyway, from what I've seen this year, Sean Penn should win best Actor and Heath Ledger should win Best Supporting Actor. The linkage continues. 

I'm Moving to Persia!

Jake Gyllenhaal is the Shirtless Prince of Persia
MON, 11 AUGUST 2008 AT 4:10 PM

Jake Gyllenhaal channels his inner brute and shows off his newly buff body on the set of his latest movie, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, in Morocco, North Africa on Monday morning.

The 27-year-old actor, who has an entire mane of hair now, held hands with his actress girlfriend Reese Witherspoon. The couple spent the the weekend at the exclusive luxury Moroccan hotel Amanjena. Gyllenspoon grabbed lunch on Saturday at a Moroccan restaurant followed by a tour of the local sights.

In the film, Jake will play Dastan, a young prince in sixth century Persia who must join forces with Tamina (Gemma Arterton), a feisty and exotic princess, to prevent a villainous nobleman from possessing the Sands of Time, a gift from the gods that can reverse time and allow its possessor to rule the world.

X-Files

Saw it at midnight last night. It's not much of anything. Not bad like The Happening, just sort of empty and not very involving. Not scary, not suspenseful, not interesting. Very bland. I loved the last X-Files movie, saw it a couple of times. I've never really watched the tv show, I hate fiction on tv, but I really enjoyed the the first X Files film but lightening is not striking twice this weekend. Save your money. Go see The Dark Knight or Wall E.

PS My audience were soooooo well-behaved. I finally felt like I was seeing a film with a roomful of mature adults. Nice! Please people, turn off your mother-fucking phones during the movie. Checking your phone during a movie or texting is a criminal offense in my book!

WALL E Spoilers Don't read if you haven't seen it.

Bret writes: I thought it was excellent, too.

But I really wish they hadn't brought up the possibility of Wall-E's memory deletion at the end if they weren't going to follow through on it.

I truly think WALL-E would have been a much stronger movie had Pixar decided to let the robot die. It would have been a terrifically moving tragedy.

But Pixar opts to merely tease us with that possibility, then slap on the same old, fake, Hollywood, feel-good ending.

Don't even bring it up, Pixar! If you're just going to pussy out of it ...
_____

Bret,

I totally disagree. The entire message of Wall E is one of hope, survival and optimism. There would be actually no point to having Wall E die. Following your line of thinking they should have let the humans die, too, or the lone plant for that matter. As disturbing as the movie is the filmmakers clearly believe we can survive, we can live but we have to make tough decisions and work hard. Killing WALL E would do nothing to underscore that message. It would simply leave moviegoers depressed and that is not what they want to do. They want to challenge us and inspire us but not "kill" us. Wall E is a metaphor for us. We are Wall E. We are the solution. We need to take care of the planet. We need to learn to love. We need to connect. We need to survive. The sick joke of the movie is that the most human characters in the film are the robots. It takes robots to teach us how to be human. The filmmakers clearly have dark concerns on their minds but they aren't pessimists. The movie is not about death it's about life. Humans are sick, the planet is sick, but we arent dead yet.

I could go on and on...

Clearly Chaplin and Broadway musicals were a huge inspiration for this story. Both of those genres tend to end happily. Killing Wall E would have betrayed the source material. It would have mocked the very thng it wants to be. No one dies at the end of Hello Dolly! Chaplin is a survivor! Wall E is not Shakespearean, it's musical comedy. It's not Greek tragedy it's a romantic fairy tale.

Bret, would you want Cinderella to spend her life cleaning houses and never get a prince? Do you really want to see Jack get killed by the giant? Do you want Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss to get eaten by the shark??? What would a massage be without a happy ending? Happy endings are not created by pussies for pussies. Happy endings inspire us, they give us hope. The happy ending in Wall E is a perfect ending to a perfect movie.

Now let's discuss the worst movie of all time:

The Crappening by M . Night Shamalong

Truly, the worst film of the year but possibly the decade. Unbelievably awful. Every shot, every line, every moment, every performamce; awful, awful, awful. Have you ever taken a shit that was so long you thought it would never stop coming out of your ass. That's what this movie is. Just when you think the shit will stop more shit keeps coming. It's a shit feast. Anyone into scat will LOVE it!

In a way though, it's good news for the Shamalong. He will never make a film as bad as this ever again. It's simply not possible.

Jerry Herman saves the world!

Jerry Herman, who once threatened to sue me (for making a dirty joke about him in my play Making Porn) and then came to see the play in Palm Springs and graciously met with the cast afterwards, has spoken out about WALL E and the way his music is featured, pivotally, in the Pixar masterpiece! It's interesting to me to see a Broadway musical play such a huge part in a popular futuristic sci-fi epic. Maybe the theatre isn't dead, after all.
___

Text size:
Hello, WALL•E, Sings Jerry Herman, Who Loves Use of His 44-Year-Old Songs in the Movie
By FRANK RIZZO | Courant Staff Writer
July 1, 2008


Wall•e (Disney/PIXAR)

Can a musical comedy save the world? Well, it certainly helps, according to the new Pixar animated film "WALL•E," which opened nationwide this weekend and brought in $62.5 million at the box office, making it the No. 1 film in America.

Two songs from "Hello, Dolly!" — "Put on Your Sunday Clothes" and "It Only Takes a Moment" — are pivotal in the film's story about a little robot, the only sign of "life" (not counting a friendly cockroach) left on a devastated and abandoned Earth 700 years in the future.

What keeps the resourceful robot going is not just his recharging solar plates but a videotape from the 1969 film "Hello, Dolly." The songs feature Michael Crawford, Marianne MacAndrew and — if you look closely in the chorus — Tommy Tune. ( Barbra Streisand, who starred in the film, is not featured in the "WALL•E" clips.)

The feel-good song "Sunday Clothes" lifts the robot's spirits as he goes on his programmed daily drudgery. The romantic ballad "It Only Tales a Moment" reminds him of contact with another entity, which is missing from his lonely life.


Video

Related links
Movie trailer: 'WALL-E" Video
Jerry Herman Photo
'Wall-E' Photos
'WALL•E' A Stunning, Funny Parable
Finding WALL•E, 14 Years Later
No Humans: Filmmakers Fascinated About What Comes Next

When Jerry Herman, composer of the Broadway musical, saw "WALL•E" Sunday night in Los Angeles, he was stunned.

"It really blew me away," Herman said in a telephone interview Monday. "You're talking to someone still in a haze. I couldn't believe how beautifully the songs expressed the entire intent of the film."

Herman, who turns 77 next week, said he was not aware of how the songs were going to be used and expected them to be featured briefly as background music.

Instead, the film opens with a shot of the universe and the voice of Crawford singing the opening lines, "Out there, there's a world outside of Yonkers ...," followed by most of the rest of the upbeat song as the robot goes on his daily routine

"I'll tell you that the seat I was in will never be the same," Herman says. "I clutched those two arm rests. I was so thrilled and moved. What a wonderful use — to show a desolate world contrasted with the joy of those lyrics.

"The amazing thing for me is that two songs from a show that certainly was iconic in its day — or still is — will now have a more permanent place in history because of this movie, which is probably going to be the film of the year."

Does he feel vindicated that his songs, sometimes dismissed as too sunny, will live on?

"It made me doubly pleased to have written songs of optimism and joy," Herman says. "They call me the eternal optimist. Well, that's what the world needed after the assassination of Kennedy [before the Broadway show opened in January 1964] and what the world needs now."

Herman predicts this will heighten interest in a Broadway revival of "Hello, Dolly!"

"I've been thinking about it, and there are several ladies — stars — I am already playing in my head to cast."

"To have 'Dolly!" blooming again now," he says, "is like having an orchid plant suddenly, unexpectedly coming back to life."

Herman says that after leaving the cineplex, filled with joy, he turned to his goddaughter and sang, "Well, well, hello, WALL•E!"

Contact Frank Rizzo at rizzo@courant.com.

WALL E

A serious masterpiece. The best animated film I've ever seen. One of the best examples of visual storytelling ever. One of the darkest films I've ever seen. They have completely mis-marketed this thing. This is not some cutesy Robot movie. I wasn't even interested in seeing it after the first trailers came out. I think the producers were afraid that if people found out how dark the movie is they might not come see it. This is an extremely serious film about...well it's about everything. It's about our very existence. And if you're a fat person, like me,...well let's just say, I'll never look at big gulp again the same way. My mind is still reeling, I'll be seeing it again very soon. And did I mention I wept like a baby in the final moments. 

One of the reasons I hate blogging is because I'm not a good writer. I don't express myself well via blogging. I struggle to put sentences together in this form. Dialogue is easy to write for me but this non-dialogue writing is no fun, uninteresting and doesn't flow. I'm a talker, I like to talk, I could talk with you about Wall-e for hours but when I start to write my thoughts in blog form I freeze up. It's frustrating. And yet I get sick of writing dialogue.

Anyway, enough about that. 

The point is Wall E is a amazing fucking film that deeply impacted me. The first film of the year to make me cry. I won't tell you to go see it cause I'm sure you will. And if you aren't running out to see it because you think its a kids cartoon you are wrong, wrong, wrong. In fact, I would say it is NOT for children. It's for parents! Parents need to see this movie. It should be required viewing for parents because it's about the choices we make as individuals and how those choices impact the people we love as well as the people we've never met.

Sex and the Shitty!

The ONLY thing I liked about Sex and the City was the fascinating wedding dress by Vivienne Westwood! Now comes word she didn't much care for the movie either!

"Westwood: 'Sex Movie Is Dull'

20 June 2008 12:10 AM, PDT

Legendary fashion designer Vivienne Westwood is not a fan of Sex And The City: The Movie, branding the film's fashion styling uninspiring and "quite dull".

The designer, 67, is name-checked in the film and even created the dress worn by Sarah Jessica Parker's fashionista character Carrie on her wedding day.

But Westwood insists she was far from impressed with stylist Patricia Field's work on the big screen adaptation of the hit TV series.

She says, "I thought Sex And The City was supposed to be about cutting-edge fashion and there was nothing remotely memorable or interesting about what I saw.

"I went to the premiere and left after ten minutes."

I'm Ruined

I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go see one of the movies currently playing that I have no interest in. It's free popcorn Tuesday here in Oceanside, so I can't resist. After reading this quote, I'm sold:

"Gore hounds will definitely be pleased as The Ruins boasts some of the most sickening blood and guts this side of snuff films." 

I'm there! I'll let you know how it goes. 

So fucking sad!

My neighbor just said, "we never really know the pain other people are going through." So true.

So Many Movies

Me: What was the last movie you saw?

Myself: National Treasure, last night, 9:40 pm. Really enjoyed it.

Me: You liked National Treasure???

Myself: For me these films accomplish everything the Da Vinci Code didn't. They're fun! The Da Vinci Code was NOT fun. Are the National Treasure films silly? Of course! But I still enjoy them. They move very well. I love the way the say, "We need to go to Paris!" And boom, they're in Paris. No shots of the plane taking off and arriving in France. They just are suddenly in Paris. I like that pacing. Transitions are highly overrated. It's an efficient way of storytelling. I sort of find it inspiring.

Me: Are you saying you're inspired by National Treasure 2.

Myself: In a way, yes. Bruckheimer knows how to engage and entertain an audience. Look at the people behind the Aliens vs Predator series. There's an example of people who have absolutely no clue what they're doing. They took two of the coolest creatures ever created and shat all over them in not one but TWO movies.

Me: I wouldn't even see it!

Myself: Have you seen Predator? Have you seen Alien? These movies are two examples of perfect movies that work completely on every level. So how, I ask you, do we end up with the pure shit that is the AVP series. Every moment of each AVP movie is terrifyingly crappy. Look at the Batman series. Christopher Nolan has completely restarted what was a dead franchise. He should be directing AVP. The movie I am most looking forward to in 2008 is the next Batman film. I've watched Batman begins countless times and every time it gets better and better. Nolan proves that dead franchises can be revitalized.

Me: Why are we talking about Batman Begins. I want to hear about movies that are out now. What did you think of Sweeney Todd.

Myself: Sweeney is a little tough for me. I loved it. Loved every minute of it. But I had to pretend I hadn't heard it sung better countless times. I had to take it on its own terms. I worship Tim Burton. Seriously. And I worship Sondheim, so to see them both in one movie is like one big prolonged orgasm. But I still came home and listened to the original Broadway cast recording. I'm thrilled that we have both versions and I hope they make movies of ALL Sondheim's shows.

Me: But they won't.

Myself: But they should.

Me: But they won't.

Myself: So you loved Sweeney.

Me: I loved it.

Myself: BUT...

Me: But I'm glad we have original cast recordings! That's all I'm gonna say. Did you see it?

Myself: I did. I loved it, too. I cried when the little boy sang, "Not While I'm Around." I thought he had the best voice in the movie.

Me: So you had a problem with the singing, too.

Myself: I wouldn't say problem, but I did cry when the little boy sang. So...I'm not sure what that means. I look forward to seeing it again.

Me: Me too. What's next?

Myself: Let's talk about Hitman and No Country For Old Men. I saw both hitman movies in one week. Javiar Bardem is a perfect hitman but I have concerns about Timothy Olyphant.

Me: Are you really comparing Hitman to No Country For Old Men.

Myself: Well they're the same movie, basically.

Me: Are you out of your mind?

Myself: When you boil it down they're the same. Listen, there's only two plots; Cinderella and/or Jack the Giant Killer. Every story is a variation on those two plots. In all stories characters are either falling in love or trying to kill a giant. And in some movies they're doing both at the same time. Jaws is of course Jack the Giant Killer. Silence of the Lambs is Jack the Giant Killer. Alien is Jack the Giant Killer. Brokeback Mountain is both Cinderella and Jack the Giant Killer. In Brokeback they are falling in love (with each other) and battling giants (the world and themselves). Trust me there are only two plots. So if the Coen Brothers had written and directed Hitman starring Javiar Bardem it might have been just a good a film as No Country For Old Men. Did you see Hitman?

Me: No one saw Hitman but you.

Myself: Some Marines in Oceanside saw it cause they were in the theatre with me.

Me: So you and 5 Marines saw it.

Myself: And I actually sort of liked it. But I'm still not sure I bought Timothy Olyphant as a hard-boiled Hitman. I'm having a hard time remembering it even. I didn't hate it. I'm just not sure about Olyphant. He seemed so nice.

Me: Maybe that's a good thing.

Myself: Maybe. I'm not sure.

Me: But No Country For Old Men?

Myself: Loved it. Saw it twice. Will hopefully see it again. Well maybe not loved it. I liked it sooooooooo much. Really really really liked it. Wait, maybe I loved it.

Me: Craziest ending ever filmed!

Myself: The first time I saw it, the entire audience gasped and said out loud "What the fuck????" I laughed but people were not saying nice things on the way out of the theatre. I wanted a different ending, too, but I also accepted the ending. I bought the whole package. And I actually enjoyed the movie more the second time. The second time around the plot holes seemed much larger but I don't really question it. I love the movie as is. Unconditionally.

Me: Do you think it'll win the Oscar?

Myself: I think there's a good chance. It will certainly be nominated. But the buzz on There Will Be Blood is tremendous.

Me: Have you seen it yet?

Myself: No, but I'm dying to. I almost drove up to LA last night to see it. It's not in Oceanside yet. I'm really looking forward to it.

Me: Hey, should we stop talking now? Do you think anyone is gonna read this whole long thing?

Myself: Bret will. Marz might. Maybe my brother will if he's having a slow day at work. Carolyn will skim it, I bet. Michelle will try but she'll get bored and go walk her dogs instead!

Me: We haven't even gotten to the other movies you've seen and not written about.

Myself: You mean Bee Movie, P2, Awake, The Mist, Beowulf, The Golden Compass and I am Legend.

Me: Did you like those?

Myself: I thought I Am Legend worked perfectly. I completely believed it. I was scared. I got nervous. My heart rate increased. I tried to see it again but after 20 minutes I left to go do a booty call.

Me: You took a phone call during the movie???

Myself: The theatre was empty. And no I didn't take a call. I got an e-mail on the trusty iPhone. So I got a refund and went home and had sex.

Me: I can't believe you checked your e-mail during the movie! That's disgusting.

Myself: You're right. It is. I'm such a fucking hypocrite!

Me: How was the sex?

Myself: I don't recall.

Me: How was Bee Movie?

Myself: I think I liked it. yes I liked it. I wanted to see it after seeing Seinfeld give a great interview on Charlie Rose. He seems so clear. So unclouded by Hollywood. So sane. I wanted to see his movie after watching the interview. He talked about his being OK with not working. He talked about not feeling the need to make more product just for the sake of making more product. I struggle with not working. I feel guilty some days. I feel I should be out there but I haven't figured out how to work and have a peaceful life at the same time. Once, I figure out that magic formula I'll probably go back to work but right now I'm okay with not working.

Me: I don't believe you're okay with not working.

Myself: I'm figuring it out. I'm in transition. I know my touring days are behind me. Dragging my ass from city to city is nothing I'm interested in doing again anytime soon. So when I work again, if I do, it will be very different, I hope.

Me: I just want to know what you thought about Bee Movie. I don't care whether you work or not.

Myself: Yes, I liked Bee Movie.

Me: Let's try this. I'll name a movie. You give me a one sentence response.

Myself: Ok.

Me: P2.

Myself: Best movie I ever saw set in a parking garage. Bad acting. Stupid script. I almost left 5 times. Glad I saw it though. The lead actress was dreadful.

Me: That's 6 sentences.

Myself: Sorry.

Me: The Mist.

Myself: Loved the violence, hated the talking. More killing, less talk, please!

Me: You're a barbarian!

Myself: Well if they're gonna talk they should say something interesting. I had a revelation last night that it would be totally fascinating to see a Halloween sequel written and directed by Woody Allen. Now that would be an interesting movie.

Me: Indeed.

Myself: And speaking of scary movies, Emma Thompson in I Am Legend gets my vote this year for best supporting actress. She brilliantly sells the opening of the movie and when she humbly smiles after announcing they "cured cancer" I got chills. Her acting in that brief opening is some of the best acting I've seen all year. She's so perfect! Perfect!

Myself: Emma Thompson is in I Am Legend with Will Smith??? Are you on crack?

Me: In the opening. She's the doctor in the opening. She's brilliant.

Myself: Beowulf.

Me: I want to have sex with Beowulf. The naked fight scene was better than Viggo Mortenson in Eastern Promises. But the movie? Eh. Whatever. It looks like a video game. What's the point? Did it need to be animated. Is a cartoon Anthony Hopkins better than a real one? Peter Jackson could've made a live version of the same movie and it would have been much better! It left me very cold.

Myself: But did you like it better than The Golden Compass.

Me: Oh God! Don't remind me. It seems like a bad dream. Did I really sit through that? The WORST! Soooooooooo boring. I almost slit my wrists for entertainment. Truly a snooze. And weird. And creepy. It's not anti-Christian it's anti-cohesion. I didn't even know what I was watching. The kids have demons that are animals and the adults want to take their pets away and it costs 200 million to make. What the fuck???? I mean really! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

Myself: Which segues perfectly to our last movie, Awake.

Me: Awake! Oh, Awake. The sequel to the Golden Compass. Another movie that I can't comprehend.

Myself: I would love to discuss this movie with someone but NO ONE I know saw it. Did you see it?

Me: I saw it with you.

Myself: Is it the strangest movie of 2007?

Me: Possibly, yes. I think on some level I actually enjoyed it but I'm not sure. It's soooooo weird. I admire these writers that actually think this shit up and sell it to studios for millions of dollars. "I've written a script about a guy who is put to sleep during open heart surgery but he's not really asleep and while he's not really asleep he has to solve his own murder before it happens so he can save himself." WHAT THE FUCK??? Who thinks this stuff up? Seriously????? Sign me up! I have a million insane ideas!

Myself: Maybe you should write screenplays.

Me: Yes, the world needs more screenplays!

Me: So, there we have it. The longest blog entry ever written!

Myself: I like it better when you update more consistently with shorter entries.

Me: But I don't write it for you. I write it for me.

Cool Rambo Poster

It's very Che Guevara!

Lions for Lambs (and Hitler, too)

I shot the pic below during the most action-packed part of the film. Meryl and Tom are TALKING, TALKING, TALKING and then all-of-sudden Tom Cruise...leans forward. It's riveting!!! Honestly, once you've seen this photo, you've seen the whole movie.



Bret: So, how long did you stay?

Me: Long enough to finish my popcorn.

Bret: That bad?

Me: The worst!

Bret: Worst of the year?

Me: Maybe the decade. I don't have the verbal skills to describe how horrible this steaming pile of shit is! This is the worst film of the year, no question because for one, IT'S NOT A FILM. It's bad propaganda pretending to be a film. It's badly filmed and badly acted and badly cast and badly written. The only actress who could have made this crap work is Judi Dench. If she had played all three roles then maybe they could've gotten away with just a well-acted bad script. But this goes down in a blaze of glory. The worst acting since Cary Elwes in Saw 1. I've never seen Meryl Streep work so hard to try to create a character. She tries sooooo hard. It's painful to watch an actress of her ability working so hard. And the script is stiffer than plywood. And it doesn't have an original thought in its brain. And it looks like it was filmed over one week on no budget. And the worst part is the actors do this weird, smiling thing they've all clearly been directed to do. They all SMILE at each other the whole time, like they just had sex or got drunk! It's fucking creepy. And they sit across desks and talk, talk, talk. Blab, blab, blab. It feels like those infomercial/interview shows that are supposed to feel like a real conversation but they're so badly acted you can't even watch them.

Bret: So how long did you last?

Me: Maybe 30 minutes, tops. Maybe 25. And it gets better. Before the film they show a horrible trailer for a ridiculous looking film called Valkyrie, starring Tom Cruise, in an eye patch. I laughed out loud when he said with a straight face, "We have to kill Hitler!!!" LOL I don't even know why it makes me laugh but it does. Tom Cruise has to kill Hitler! Is this a parody or something??? Tell me I'm dreaming! The trailer makes me howl. And it looks like a comic book. Cruise even looks like Superman with his wavy hairdo. This trailer is vile. I predict horrible reviews and zero box office. You heard it here first kids. Hitler will get the last laugh.

My second date with Michael

Sally: Michael, I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry I left early. I guess maybe we shouldn't see each other again. The first date was perfect. You're a solid guy. Solid. But it was hard to maintain interest on the second date. I found myself admiring you but I wasn't thrilled and frankly, when I'm in a dark room with a sexy man and a bag of hot popcorn between my legs, I want to be thrilled. Actually, I was really transfixed by your friend, Tilda, she's totally captivating. Maybe I'm a lesbian. Anyway, I'm sorry I left after 30 minutes but I was getting bored. I hope you understand.

Michael: I'm confused. Do you like me or not?

Sally: I like you but I'm not in love with you, anymore. I'm sorry, Michael Clayton.

Michael: When you say my whole name you sound like my mother.

Sally: I'm sorry. Goodbye, Michael. I'll see you on cable.

American Gangster

Ronnie: When the mother of the gangster is the most compelling character in the movie and she's only in 3 or 4 scenes then I think you have a problem. This movie is fine, seriously. But Ruby Dee steals every scene she's in and had this movie been about a mob boss and his naive-ferocious mother I think you would have had something truly original. The mother in this movie acts as a metaphor for America. She closes her eyes to crime as long as it benefits her but once her life gets negatively impacted she starts to ask questions. She's a complex and hypocritical character and she represents most of us. She should have been in every other scene. She's the moral center in a way.The scene where she confronts Denzel is by far the best, most complex, saddest scene in the film. One could argue that she is the real American Gangster because she knows she lives in a corrupt world but keeps her mouth shut until it's too late. Denzel and Russell are both fine and unsurprising. We've seen these performances before. But Ruby Dee's scenes are so rich they make the rest of the movie seem flat in comparison.

Ruby Dee: Well, I don't agree but that sure is a nice thing for you to say, young man.

Ronnie: Actually, I'm 38.

Ruby Dee: Oh.

Gone Baby Gone

Ronnie: Ms. Monaghan, you are so sexy. I'm gay but you're incredibly sexy and charismatic. I fell in love with you in Mission Impossible 3 and I even liked you in the Heartbreak Kid. Please make lots more movies.

Michelle: Did you like Gone Baby Gone?

Ronnie: I liked it very much. I didn't love it but it was better than Saw 4. I'm not sure I really buy the story though. Here's the problem. It's a plot-driven movie, do you agree?

Michelle: Maybe.

Ronnie: Well I would say most of it's appeal derives from it's complex story but if one starts to not believe in that story, even if the actors are great, then the movie has a problem and I started not buying it. I enjoyed it. I liked it. But I stopped believing. And I really didn't buy the actions of the "villain" in the last scene. I just don't believe he'd do what he did. I can't say more without giving away the ending but I swear I did enjoy the movie and I really liked the actors. I loved the unsympathetic mother in the movie. It's rare to see a movie about an unsympathetic woman who loses a child. Most women who lose babies in movies are saints. But back to you, Michelle. you sure are sexy.

Michelle: Thank you. What's your name again?

Ronnie: I told you already.

Michelle: Robby?

Saw 4

Ronnie: Ok, Saw People, correct me if I'm wrong. You guys basically just sit around making shit up without any concern about logic or continuity or anything like that, right? You're basic idea is to keep the audience so confused that after a while they just give up and wait for someone to get mutilated, is that it? I guess on some level I admire your ambition. Plots are noble goals but I actually like a plot I can follow with actors I can tell apart. I literally have no idea what happened in your movie so one of us must be an idiot cause it doesn't seem like it should be that much work. The first Saw was a very simple story. The next one got a little more complicated but now it seems you guys have no idea what you're doing but you enjoy doing it anyway. Am I close at all or do you totally disagree?

Saw People: No, you're right. But wasn't it cool when the guys head got smashed with blocks of ice and the sleazy guy got his eyes poked out. Did you like that part?

Ronnie: Do you even care that I'm a fairly intelligent person and I can't follow your fucking movie??? Are you fucking listening??????? Hello? I know you've already begun filming Saw 5 but I'm just asking for a little logic here. Just a little.

Saw People: But wasn't the opening shot cool when the guy got his brains pulled out? Did you love that? Were you scared?

Ronnie: Forget it.

We Own the Night

Ronnie: I like you, Jaoquin. You own the night! I wish I owned the night. All I own is a Honda Accord with 300,000 miles on it. Owning the night must be the shit, dawg!

Jaoquin: Who the fuck are you?

Ronnie: I'm Ronnie. I saw your movie. I liked it. I wanted you to know that.

Jaoquin: Thanks.

Ronnie: I didn't love it but I liked it. And I like you a lot. I always enjoy watching you act. I find you to be very interesting and alive. I thought you were the best thing in Gladiator. My friend always pronounces it GLADE-eeator.

Jaoquin: That's nice but I gotta run.

Ronnie: Wait, I wanted to tell you that my favorite part of the film was the car chase in the rain. It was very intense.

Jaoquin: Thanks buddy. Gotta go.

Ronnie: Where are you going?

Jaoquin: Why would I tell you that?

Ronnie: I thought maybe we could be friends.

Jaoquin: I'll pass on that. But thanks for going to my movies. The fans are everything, blah blah, blah. See ya!

For the LOVE of Goldfish!

Me: People like your Goldfish movie!

Ronnie: That's nice, huh? I get more fan mail for my Goldfish movie than I do for my gay sex comedies. Maybe I should focus only on Goldfish movies from now on. What do you think?

Me: How 'bout a gay sex comedy starring Goldfish.

Ronnie: How come we keep capitalizing the word Goldfish?

Me: I'm not sure!

Click here to watch the Goldfish movie:

Quicktime: http://ronnielarsen.com/aavideo/goldfishmovietheater.htm

Windows: http://ronnielarsen.com/aavideo/windowsmedia/A%20Goldfish%20Mourns.wmv

_____________

Hi, I just watched this video all the way through with tears in my eyes. I didn't know that Goldfish would mourn for each other, although I should know better. Whales, dolphins and any animal, mammal or not, can form an attachment to another - even a different species - so mourning it's loss would be a natural thing, in my opinion.
However, your video captures the sadness that is just radiating from the big Goldfish, it's absolutely heart breaking to watch.
I had a small dog that wept actual tears when his companion of 8 years died and was inconsolable (crying, not eating, not wanting to go out, etc.) for weeks until I finally broke down and got him a new companion. It was funny, however, that even with a new puppy in the house, he continued to mourn for the rest of his life (he died at age 16) for his first companion and would pick up his ears whenever I said her name, poor little guy.
But yes, all species have the ability to mourn, feel sad, get lonely, be happy and get excited - just like we do.
Your video was absolutely fantastic. To capture something like this on tape is wonderful even if it is heartbreaking.
How is the big one doing now?
Take care.
Peace,
Lynn

Elizabeth, The Golden Age

Ronnie: Cate, thank you for coming to Oceanside for this brief interview.

Cate: My pleasure. It really is a lovely town.

Ronnie: Why thank you.

Cate: It's quite nice. So many strapping Marines!

Ronnie: So about your movie...

Cate: Elizabeth...

Ronnie: Yes, Elizabeth. The costumes are stunning.

Cate: Thank you.

Ronnie: Truly stunning. I loved looking at your movie. I would have loved it even with the sound off. I could have just put on my iPod and listened to the "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert", and been perfectly content.

Cate: But what did you think of the script.

Ronnie: Well it's very Cliff Notesy don't you think?

Cate: I don't know, I don't read Cliff Notes.

Ronnie: You should, they're quite useful. I quite enjoy them. So, it's not a criticism and to be fair I wouldn't know how to write a screenplay that clearly communicates the complexity of that time period and still be clear. And I felt like I learned a lot but I also felt like I was being given the tip of the iceberg. I left wanting to know more about Queen Elizabeth, which is always good thing. And as far as pure entertainment, it works brilliantly, I was completely entertained and I may even see it again. So all in all it was a totally satisfying experience.

Cate: Thank you, I think.

Ronnie: But let's be frank, shall we?

Cate: Absolutely.

Ronnie: Samantha Morton is the real deal, don't you think? A truly other-worldly actress. No one can deny your incredible talent, Cate, but Samantha is in her own universe. It was only when she was on screen that I was truly swept away. I liked all of your choices but with you I'm always aware of the talent, but with Samantha, I find myself transported and confused and awed. She simply acts on more levels than you. If you act on 3 levels she acts on 5. She's like a Judi Dench, there's just so much going on all the time. She even sort of looks like Judi Dench. Did you see Minority Report?

Cate: I loved it.

Ronnie: It's really Samantha's movie, but Tom Cruise and Spielberg got all the credit. So I think it's time to start giving some of your roles to Samantha. That's really why I brought you here. You have all the work you need but it's time for Samantha to move to center stage. She's the best thing in Elizabeth and she's only on screen for like a total of 10 minutes. It's not right. Or you should produce a movie called Mary Queen of Scots and let her star in it. What do you think about all this?

Cate: Umm...I'm not sure.

Ronnie: Well thank you so much for coming to Oceanside and sitting down with me.

Cate: Thank you, it was lovely!

Nigger vs Shit

Ronnie: Hey, can I ask you a question?

FCC: Make it quick.

Ronnie: Ok, I'm watching Bad Boys 2 with Will Smith and Chris Tucker.

FCC: Martin Lawrence.

Ronnie: Oh yeah, sorry, so I'm watching Bad Boys 2 on the USA Network and they keep calling each other nigger! Nigger this, nigger that.

FCC: What's your question?

Ronnie: Every time they said the word shit it got bleeped out. "That's bull-bleep nigger!" So I'm really confused. Is shit a less offensive word than nigger? And who is it less offensive to? Nigger is a derogatory word against black people but shit isn't really a derogatory word against feces. By bleeping one and not the other aren't you implying that feces deserves more respect than black people. Can you clear this up for me?

FCC: Well, I think in that specific film they don't really say nigger, which is a horrible word by the way, they say nigga, which is more of a friendly-casual word.

Ronnie: No, I'm pretty sure they say nigger.

FCC: Hmmmm. Well, I'd have to watch it again. I haven't seen it in a while. But I liked it better than Bad Boys 1. Does that answer your question?

Ronnie: Uh, no.