Hot Shower starring Carolyn

Female or Shemale?

Can you tell the difference between a female and a shemale?

I scored 12 right out of 16. Let's see how you do.

Click here to take the wildy amusing and brief test.

This was sent to me courtesy of a fellow-blogger.

Goodbye, Ann Richards.

"Poor George, he can't help it...He was born with a silver foot in his mouth." Ann Richards

I'm gonna miss you. Each time I saw you on TV you inspired me, made me laugh and made me think. You were calling George W. Bush a moron before it was fashionable. You knew the truth looong before the rest of the world figured it out. I fear we may not see the likes of you ever again in politics. I trusted you, I believed what you said and you always struck me as the real deal; a genuinely good, intelligent, smart, funny and candid politician. Thank you for all you gave.

And why in the hell are all the true originals dying this month. First Steve Irwin and now, you. Something isn't right.

To read all about the crazy and fabulous life of Ann Richards, click here.

Innovation and Insanity

Heidi Klum wins the award for best qoute of the week:

"There's a fine line between innovation and insanity."

Oh Heidi, if only you had told me this before I started putting porn stars in plays.

Oh well, the point is, I have fallen in love with Heidi Klum and Project Runway. I am riveted by every scene, every "character", every gown. How I love seeing gay men on television who don't feel the need to be charming. Project Runway is everything Queer Eye never was. The gays on Queer Eye are artificially-upbeat-one-dimensional-caricatures begging to be loved. The human beings on Project Runway are exactly that: human!

They are serious, funny, bitchy, smart, delusional, cutthroat, creative and human. And Nina Garcia and Heidi Klum are two women I wish I were friends with and if you know anything about me you know there aren't many people I want to be friends with, especially celebrities, but Klum and Garcia are sexy, witty, intelligent, sophisticated and yet oddly down-to-earth. As they watch the runway show each week they seem genuinely intrigued and excited. And Michael Kors and Tim Gunn couldn't be queenier but yet they also come off as completely sincere and intelligent.

How I love this show! I'm personally rooting for Michael Knight but I'm most consistently impressed by the clothing of Laura Bennett. I love her clean, elegant lines and and her "construction", as they on the show, is completely flawless.

I've just moved seasons 1 and 2 to the top of my Netflix and I can not wait to watch every second.

Bravo, Bravo!

Isn't she lovely?????

Click here to hear her new theme song!


Look how she stands out amongst the masses at the Grove. Hint: look for the bright orange shirt under the Clerks 2 marquee!

And compare with her old look.

Trannie Panhandling

This is a video of two of my good friends, MzVicky and Sally, panhandling in Los Angeles. These girls are borderline insane and suffering from serious sex addiction but I love them both very much. Enjoy their video.

Regina Fong, I Miss You!

I lived in London for 6 months in 1990 and I had a grand time but the highlight of my trip was my weekly trek to The Black Cap Pub in Camden to worship the greatest drag performer I have ever seen: Regina Fong. I love drag, period. Any guy in a dress amuses me but Regina Fong was truly the most amazing, most charismatic and most loved drag queen I have ever seen.

Every Tuesday night hundreds of "Fong-worshippers" would cram into the backroom of The Black Cap Pub for three hours of pure, hyper, adrenaline-filled escapism. Every week we'd sing along to the same songs and watch her do the same routines and every week it was fresher and funnier than before.

I became an instant fan and went every single Tuesday. I forced my friends to go and they fell in love with her, too.

I haven't been back to London in many years but I've thought of her often, so last week I Googled her and my mouth fell to the floor as I read the following:

"It is with the utmost sadness that we report that one of the all-time great drag performers, H.I.H. Regina Fong died last night following a long battle with cancer."

She passed away on April 14, 2003

I was stunned all day. I don't worship many performers. I use to worship Adam Ant. I love Anthony Hopkins. I find Jodie Foster endlessly fascinating. Patti Lupone is another performer I can never get enough of but the list is small. This woman, this otherworldy creature, this one-of-a-kind entertainer should have been granted immortality. Every Tuesday night I experienced pure joy for three hours. It was a gift she gave her followers.

I met Reg once out of drag in the lobby of the Drill Hall Arts Centre. I approached him and told him what a big fan I was and he smiled humbly and responded, "It's just lipsynching."

No Regina, it wasn't. In memory of her on the anniversary of her death I created a video tribute to this amazing person who gave me so much happiness. I miss you Regina Fong!


Click here to enter the magical world of Regina Fong.

Click here to view the video tribute on my website.

Jesus is Magic starring Sarah Silverman

I can't recomend this movie enough. I can't stop thinking about it. I was howling. HOWLING! I was laughing louder than anyone else around me and I'm not a loud laugher (usually) but this movie kicked my ass.

I really don't have much to say about it other than that while watching it I felt alive. I felt that I was watching someone very important with something to say and not afraid to say it.

Freedom of speech is alive and well. I wanted more! I wanted her to keep talking. I wanted to run out and drag everyone I know into the theatre.

Go! Go! Go!

It's funny, it's timely, and most of all, it's dangerous!

I think I might be in love with Sarah Silverman.

When Winona Meet Sally

Just watched Winona on Larry King talking about...well about everything...why do these celebrities feel the need to go on tv and talk about what disasters they are? I ask it with love. Nothing against Winona but what did she accomplish just now except for reminding everyone she got a DUI, which i had totally forgotten about. And she kept referring to "Winona music" as if "Winona music" is a genre. I just checked iTunes and no they don't have Winona listed as a genre. And she talked about how lonely it is living in hotels, blah blah blah...really, we all know celebrities are miserable, how could they not be? But what is served by going on talk shows and reveling in your horrible mistakes. Any fascination I had with Winona is officially over, now i just feel sorry for her...sort of like the way I feel about Whitney Houston after watching Being Bobby Brown. TV used to create intriguing fantasy, (Charlies Angels, anyone?) but now all we get is depressing reality. (Danny Bonaduce, anyone) I'm not complaining but if i were these peoples publicist I would tell them to keep the dirty laundry in the closet. But what the fuck do I know?

Fashion Trance Cures Cancer

Well it was a fascinating night with the parents....my mom has been struggling with cancer for many many years now. On and off with the chemo for literally years. I was raised in Bakersfield, California and that's where my parents still live. So I'm up visiting my parents tonight and my mom confesses that her new favorite TV show is Fashion Trance.

Has anyone besides my mother heard of this show???? It's on the style network.

It's literally JUST fashion shows unedited with little comments on the screen like, "fans of this designer include, Nicole Kidman. Cameron Diaz. Tom Cruise." The clothes are of course ridiculous but my mom loves it. She's fascinated by how the models walk.

"They cross their feet over each other wen they walk. How do they do that?"

So my dad goes to bed and we watch it. We are now officially both in a fashion trance!!

Me: Mom, I don't get it, why do you like this show?

Mom: It's just very entertaining.

Me: But why?

Mom: I don't know, i just like it. (pause) Look how skinny she is. (pause) Why don't they smile? (pause) You know they didn't always use to cover the nipples. They just started doing that.

Me: What nipples?

(Thank god for Tivo. My mom rewinds the show and yep, you can see the nipples thru the fabrics. No bras.)

Mom: Sometimes they blur them and sometimes they don't.

We sit. We watch. We remain in a fashion trance. The show ends. Bedtime. My mother sleeps in a lazyboy/recliner. I stand up go to hug her. You have to be gentle. She shows me a lump on her head that decreased recently thru chemotherapy. I give her a kiss. She tells me she loves me. I tell her I love her. I retire to the bedroom. Close the door. Open my laptop. Log on to the internet and read that..."

"Renee Zellwegger is anulling her marriage to Country singer Kenny Chesney after only four months. The reason she claims is fraud."

Fraud??? Fraud!?!?!?! What the fuck? I'm shaken from my fashion trance and dying to know more!

Thoughts: Strippers, My Delicious Library, Riots in Toledo

I read an aticle on Drudge today about poverty-stricken New Orleans evacuees spending money on strippers and booze. More power to you I say. They interviewed a savvy stripper. `They were tipping me $5 a pop,'' said a Zachary's dancer named Angel. ``I told them I felt bad taking their money. But I still took it.'' What an Angel!
-------

So I'm organizing all my books into this software called Delicious Library, you scan your book title and it catalogues it into your computer so you know what you have. Also as you scan it tells what the book is worth now on Amazon.com, so I'm scanning along, all of a sudden I scan an old copy of The Frogs by Stephen Sondheim and it says 149.95 on Amazon. I'm like what? So I go to Amazon and sho enough. I must have paid 3 bucks 20 years ago for this script. Then I scan in another play called Public Enemy by Kenneth Branagh, bingo, 125.00 dollars it's worth. So I go to Amazon.com and there are 5 copies for sale and the lowest is 125 and the highest is 211.00. Thats crazy. 211 dollars. You know how many carne steak asadas at Del Taco I could buy with that? Damn. On a side note, my Sunset Blvd CD is worth 89 cents but I think that's high, don't you? The best though is a book I own entitled Michael Marons Instant Make-Over Magic. I bought this book in high school in 1986 and now it's only worth 0.01. I swear to God. 1 penny. That's how it's listed on Amazon. But i wouldn't sell it for 5 pennies! Knowing my luck I'd sell it and the next day I'd be needing a Michael Maron Instant Magic Make-Over and then what the fuck would I do?

Oh, and in case you're curious, I own 753 books, 245 cds and 176 movies. Delicious Libray kicks ass!

_______________

I was riveted and repulsed by the looting in Toledo. I love Toledo. They have a great porno theatre in Toldeo, I forget the name but anyway back to the looting! My Lord! When is this country gonna have a brutally honest discussion about poverty and race. The news commmentators kept mentioning that the majority of the looters were black. But when a bunch of drunk white dudes overturn cars after a football game they don't say, "We can't help notice that the majority of the rioters are white." it's time to start discussing race as opposed to just saying, "racism is bad." It seems everyone is racist! Why? I don't believe the answers are simple. Cats don't like dogs for the most part. Fish and birds are not friends! I grew up thinking racism could only be doled out by white people. It wasn't until I got older that I realized everyone hates everyone, period. One of my best friends is Chinese and he hates Koreans! Hates them. I wouldn't even know the diference. Man, this shit is complicated and bumper sticker slogans like, "Racism is bad", don't solve anything.