Fracture

Anthony Hopkins is my favorite male actor in the movies. His performance in Silence of the Lambs is my favorite screen performance of all time by any actor or actress. He's currently starring in Fracture and he gives another effortless/funny/dark/intelligent/vulnerable performance but he's just not in the movie enough. There were long gaps where he disappears and we get scenes of Ryan Gosling having conversations with characters we don't really care about. More Hopkins, please!

The movie is involving and entertaining but once again we have a story that could have been told in 50 tight minutes. The first 20 minutes is extremely tight and vital but after that things slow down and the movie starts to feel padded in places. During the first 20 minutes, I thought to myself, "if the movie stays this compelling, I'll be seeing it again." But now that I've seen the whole thing I'm not so sure.

I really, REALLY, enjoyed it but I'm longing to see more movies where every second is vital to the story; movies like The Fugitive and Silence of the Lambs. But if you only see one thriller this month I recommend Fracture over Perfect Stranger and/or Disturbia.

PS Ryan Gosling is very talented and extremely sexy.

And for some reason I farted alot during this film but, thank God, I was sitting away from people.

August Wilson and Fences

According to someone on All That Chat yesterday, acclaimed playwright, August Wilson, only saw about 20 plays in his lifetime. Supposedly, he didn't go see plays he didn't write. I find it fascinating but hard to believe. I was actually an usher at his play Fences on Broadway with James Earl Jones. I must have seen the play over 30 times. Maybe I saw it more than he did. I recently read it again and I could hear the actors inflections in my head as if it were yesterday. As much as I admired it as a read, I was acutely aware that had I not seen the play first with the amazing cast on Broadway, I would not have appreciated how great the play is. I wish I were a better script reader. I also remember that it was the first time I had seen a drama on Broadway where the black audience members responded vocally: "That's right!" "You tell him!" "Mmmm hmmm!" "Amen" It often felt like being at a church revival and I remember thinking that in comparison, white audiences are boring. One line has stuck with me all these years and I've never forgotten it:

Troy: "Driving ain't nothing! You just point the car where you wanna go."

Making Porn in Detroit

Joe Bailey, an actor who appeared in my plays dozens of times all over the country has started a theater company in his hometown of Detroit and he's licensed my play , Making Porn. So if you live in Detroit and you're not allergic to milk keep your eyes out for details. I think it's opening in the summer sometime; I'll give you updates as I know more.

I once spent 6 weeks in Detroit acting in my play 10 Naked Men. The cast were really nice but I never got a handle on the city. And I didn't get laid and I didn't know where to go but I fell in love with White Castle onion ring chips. I also recall driving around one area and seeing burned-out relics of what were once charming homes. I really never got to the nice part of Detroit. The audiences though were especially appreciative and laughed extremely loud, so that was nice. The last night though, we were sold-out and it was gay pride day and one young actor showed up so drunk we literally were not sure he was gonna get through the show. Ah, the joy of live theatre. Do I miss it? Not much! LOL

A Lovely Visit From MrsProducer

My best friend, wife and business partner dropped in for a quick 24 hours of dominoes, bike-riding, noodle-eating, seal-watching and movie-going. It was a lovely visit. (Except of course, for the part where she fell off her bike to avoid running into a taxi and the other part where the cabdriver and I have a yelling match for 10 minutes on the sidewalk. But other than that, it was a great time.)

Healthy?

Is it really impossible to eat healthy fast food??? I've been exercising and eating better and I've actually lost about 20-25 pounds depending on the time of day I weigh myself, but more about that later. Last night I'm in LA and with my friend Billy and we stop at Jack in the Box. He wants one eggroll.

I order the Asian salad and before I put the dressing on I read the nutrition label: 250 calories! Holy shit! 250 calories. I've got low-fat and fat-free dressings at home which I love but I ate the salad anyway WITH the Jack in the Box dressing. But I really wish I hadn't. 250 calories in dressing seems excessive and silly to me. Surely, they can do better.

I have a feeling I may be officially done with fast food. I rarely eat it anymore, anyway, except when I'm travelling, which I hope to keep doing less and less.

Serenity

Yesterday around 5 pm, I'm bicycling on the beach and I see a group of people sitting in a circle around a campfire. As I get closer they break into applause. There is something odd about this group. It seems more than just a bunch of friends roasting marshmallows. I get closer and I see a beautiful blonde woman stand up and say, "My name's Shannon and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi Shannon!"

AA on the beach. How lovely. It makes me wish I were an alcoholic. I'm hoping they have SEXaholics meetings on the beach, too. I will now Google: sexaholics anonymous beach outside meeting Oceanside. Nope. Nothing relevant came up. Damn!

Scott Rudin, I LOVE you!

While a Broadway show is in previews it's supposed to be hands-off from reviewers but the New York Times has a section that allows readers to write their own reviews. The brilliant Scott Rudin, who is unhappy about this, has decided to run quotes from the reader reviews in ads for his new show, The Year of Magical Thinking. He puts the quote out there with the tag line New York Times Online. Fucking brilliant, Mr. Rudin!!! The Times feels this is unethical and have asked him to stop running the ads. Rudin responds by telling them they can't have it both ways. And I agree, it's not right to for The NY Times to allow a show to be reviewed on their own website and then get upset when that review is quoted elsewhere. An amusing exchange of letters, which the NY Post printed today, is a thought-provoking debate about ethics, advertising, theater, and the word "review."

Check it out by clicking here.

I'm reprinting the article below. Hopefully, I won't get sued.

April 20, 2007 -- WAR has broken out between Broadway producer Scott Rudin and the New York Times. At issue is the advertising campaign for Rudin's show "The Year of Magical Thinking," starring Vanessa Redgrave.
While the play was still in previews, the Times, on its Web site, encouraged readers to "write a review." Rudin didn't think that was fair. So on March 30, the day the show opened, he turned the tables on the paper, quoting, in ads in the Times and the Post, a reader who said: "An evening of magical theater. Get yourself a ticket to the Booth Theatre." Rudin attributed the quote to "The New York Times Online." That's when the battle began.

Yvette Encarnacion, a lawyer for the Times, demanded Rudin pull the ads. Rudin fired off a response to her that, in turn, led to an exchange of letters between Rudin and Craig R. Whitney, an assistant managing editor in charge of "ethics and standards" at the paper.
(Boy, that place is top-heavy with administrators; no wonder its stock price is down.)
I obtained copies of their correspondence from a third party, who thought I might have some fun with it.

And so today I present excerpts from "Love Letters," starring Scott Rudin and Craig R. Whitney. Enjoy!

From Rudin's April 3 letter to Encarnacion:
I am at a loss to understand why you are questioning the sourcing of these quotes, since they are, in fact, directly taken from the New York Times Web site, and credited thus.

The Times obviously feels these reviews have substantive credibility - otherwise, clearly they wouldn't appear on the New York Times' Web site . . . despite the fact they come from a random selection of faceless amateurs whose only qualification to review a play is that they bought a ticket and have access to a computer.

By the way, you called . . . to ask us to stop quoting your Web site . . . in the New York Post. Are you not aware that this same quote actually ran last Friday in the Times? Is there any other possible conclusion at which to arrive other than the inevitable one: that even the people who work at the Times don't actually read it?

On April 4, Whitney replied:
We think that when you attribute a quote to "The New York Times Online" . . . readers are entitled to trust that the appraisal came from someone actually employed by the New York Times - not from a letter from a reader. The New York Times Online did not describe your play as "An evening of magical theater." A reader, not vouched for in any way by the New York Times, said that.

By the same principle - a principle we would call "honesty" - we have no objection to your ad quoting the New York Times saying "Vanessa Redgrave is arguably the greatest living actress of the English-speaking theater." A Times critic said that. Surely you see the distinction. Lots of things that are published in the Times . . . do not reflect the judgment of anyone at the paper. That is, not everything in the New York Times is of the New York Times.

And we have called the attention of our advertising department to the lapse that led to the publication of the reader quote without proper attribution in the ABC ads last Friday.

That, as you say, "lots of things are published in the Times that do not reflect the judgment of anyone at the paper" is radiantly clear to all of us who read it. . . .You refer to these online reviews as "letters from a reader." They are not letters from any reader. They are reviews. You - the paper - label them reviews. There is something deeply corrupt about the Times' professed offense at our using these reviews to sell a production of a play. If you continue to run them, you can expect to continue to see them in our advertising. In fact, if you look at today's ABC listings in the New York Times, you will see the quote running once again, despite whatever instructions you gave to the advertising department.

On April 12, Whitney wrote:
I repeat, it is not only wrong but dishonest for you, in advertisements like the one that slipped through in the ABCs again yesterday, to quote from readers' reviews as "The New York Times Online." . . . We intend to continue to resist your attempts to mislabel them as ours in the New York Times. I will try to respond as quickly as possible to the pre-opening issue you raise. . . .

Later that afternoon, Rudin sent, by hand, the following:
When the Times stops running Readers' Reviews on its Web site, I'll stop using them in advertising. You can look forward to seeing them anywhere and everywhere until then. If the paper desires to engage with me in a First Amendment dispute, be my guest.

Yesterday, Rudin wrote to Whitney one last time:
You wrote me promising a response regarding the use about which we have been corresponding. To date, I have heard nothing from you. While it's nice to receive lectures about ethics from the paper that brought us Judy Miller, Jayson Blair and the Duke lacrosse team, it's not really what I was looking for. I'm still waiting for that response.

I am, too, Mr. Whitney. And when you get around to writing it, will you cc me, please? Let's keep the debate going!
________________

Scary Man

This dude seriously scares me. I mean that in a very real way. When I look at him I see a devil. He is the freakiest and most frightening Middle-Eastern leader I have ever seen. He freaks me out more than Osama and Saddam combined. I hope to read, someday soon, that he is no longer with us.

Laugh of the Day

This has been making the rounds and you've probably seen it already but in case you haven't, check it out, it's very funny.

Disturbia Update

There's lots of internet chatter about all the visible boom mics on screen during screenings of Disturbia. I didn't notice any but I'm tempted to see it again just to see if I can spot some.

Google the words: Boom Mic Disturbia

or

Click here

Wedding Bells

Well it's official, my Dad's getting remarried. At 70, my Dad's in amazing shape; sharp as a tack, great health, athletic, strong, he acts about 45; he still has a lot of living to do. So I'm very excited about his decision. I never thought he'd even date again. He's not a player. I couldn't imagine him asking out women but I guess he became a hot commodity on the elder Mormon dating scene. The wedding will be in July. His name is Claire and her name is Carol. I'm nick-naming them Clairol. And I hope they both live happily ever after.

Sanjaya, Sanjaya, Sanjaya.

Can't live with him, can't live without him. I can't imagine watching American Idol without seeing Sanjaya make a fool out of himself but yet he so gives me the creeps. The only contestant I'm still interested in seeing perform is Melinda Doolittle. I'm over the rest of 'em. But I could listen to Cowell talk all day long. I'm a card carrying member of the Simon Cowell fan club.

Disturbia

Disturbia and Perfect Stranger really are siblings but one sibling is bad and you want to strangle it (Perfect Stranger) and the other sibling is very well behaved (Disturbia). I love a well-behaved movie. You know, those movies where everything is fine; the acting, the story, the direction, the music, the pacing. I don't mean fine like Judi Dench-fine or "fine wine" fine, I mean fine like the movie did it's job. Disturbia is fine, in a good way. I escaped for 90 minutes, I believed what I was watching. I didn't roll my eyeballs. I got scared more than once. David Morse was scary. Shia La Beouf was charming. Carrie Ann Moss was...in the Matrix films. Sad to see an interesting actress reduced to doing next to nothing in a tiny role but, hey, I'm not her agent. So, in general, I really enjoyed the movie. I do, however, have a major reservation...

And this reservation is not so much directed at Disturbia but at Hollywood writers. I see a disturbing trend; stories that can easily be told in 45 minutes are being padded to fill 90-100 minutes. If you look at my two favorite movies, Jaws and Silence of the Lambs you see two scripts with not an inch of fat; everything is vital. But as much as I enjoyed Disturbia it could easily have been done in 45 minutes. And this problem is cropping up more and more.

And speaking of padding, the second night of American Idol is one big pad. They could do the second night in 3 minutes but they drag it out for 30 minutes. Thank God for Tivo.

Cindy and His Wife

I met Cindy in Oceanside a few years ago while living in a hotel and working on a play called Cocksucker. Today, I'm standing in line at Wal-Mart buying all-purpose windex and I look over and I see Cindy with his beautiful wife. I was just on the phone with him two days ago. Cindy is actually Richard; a macho, retired military man who cross dresses on the side. He keeps his drag clothes hidden in his golf bag. He dresses up a few times a month and loves sucking cock. Cindy and his wife laugh as they unload their shopping cart full of stuff. Clearly, they love each other but what would she say if she knew she was married to a cross-dressing cocksucker? What would she think if she found the garters and the wig and the high heels stuffed in the golf bag? What lie would he tell her to wriggle out of the mess and keep "Cindy" a secret? Me, I have no secrets. My friends have no secrets. We brag about our fetishes over lunch. But I wonder how many Marines in Oceanside have secrets tucked away in golf bags. It must be exhausting keeping all those secrets. Oh, the complex lives of heterosexuals. It's so much easier being gay.
________________________________________

*All names have been changed. I'm nothing if not discreet.

déjà vu

déjà vu |ˌdā zh ä ˈvoō| noun a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.
Usually when a national tragedy explodes I turn on the news and stay glued to the set but not today. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. 32 people killed; I go to the gym. I shop for windex and I make lunch. Why don't I care this time? Why is it not registering? They call it the worst massacre in US History and I think to myself, "was 9/11 not a massacre?"

The pundits, the locals, the students, the community, EVERYONE is shocked, everyone but me. School shootings don't shock me anymore. I don't even care about the details. The shooter is Asian. So what? He was mad at his girlfriend. Who isn't? He had a bunch of guns. Who doesn't?

The news in this story is that there isn't any news. We've seen this story many times before. After a while it all just feels like déjà vu.

Higher Education

You wake up, take a shower, head to school and by 10 AM you're dead.

"At least 32 people were killed and more than two dozen wounded at Virginia Tech university on Monday in the deadliest campus shooting in U.S. history, media said."

I Feel Dirty (in a good way)

I hit a new low last night, even for me! I blew a guy on the porch of his mothers double-wide in a rundown trailer park 10 blocks from my house. It wasn't even in the trailer it was on the damned porch. I don't know why but he actually sleeps on the porch! I didn't ask why, I just sucked his dick. I imagined he was a lecherous uncle and he was forcing me to suck his dick on the porch while my white trash parents slept inside.

I've never sucked dick in a mobile home before but I've always wanted to. The porch doesn't really count but it put me one step closer to achieving my dream. What is it about white trash that I find so damned appealing? It must have something to do with Bakersfield roots and all those white trash schoolmates I use to fool around with. I guess it's true what they say: You can take the boy out of Bakersfield but you can't take Bakersfield out of the boy. Oceanside is like Bakersfield on the beach, so I guess, in a way, I've come home.

Courtney Love(s) Typos

You think I can't spell??? You think I have typo problems??? Holy cow! I just found this link to a blog Courtney Love wrote regarding her recent weight loss:

"I know spmeone who troed to get that shit and no dr would give it to her an dhse was pudgier than i was, its total utter shite, i lost weightthe hard way and people cant accept it,whwnever ANYONE loses weight by determintaion and grit fast its suspect i got muyinspirationf rom Oprah losing so much weight on Slim Fast,. thats how i did it, thio sis nonsesne my breath is great and i dont ?vomit inot a towel? it sjust cynical crazy bullshit,"

Now those are some serious typos!

I'm big in Japan

Many of my YouTube videos seem to be getting embedded in Asian websites. I guess my videos really do transcend barriers of language and speak to cultures worldwide. Maybe with my new found international fame I can bring about important global changes. The possibilities are endless now that I'm an international icon. I think I'll start a foundation like the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation but much better!

Spoiled Endings

I have Amores Perros from Netflix waiting to be watched. I've put it off cause it's loooong and subtitled. So I'm listening to talk radio today and the DJ's are discussing a movie about dogfighting and one says, "Well, I don't want to give away the end but I cried because...", he then proceeds to give away what I assume are major plot points. The he says, "I won't say the name of the movie but here's how it ends..." And I'm thinking to myself, "that sounds like an interesting movie, I wonder what it is?" Then the other DJ bursts out, "Oh, Amores Perres!" Thanks guys.

Entertain Me, Dammit!

First it was a crappy movie then I come home to SNL saved on my tivo and the crap continues. I don't understand why SNL is so up and down every week. Same people, same talents but some weeks it seems like every skit just goes nowhere. And I really love this cast; I find them to be extremely likable and charismatic but the skits this week...not good. Am I in a bad mood tonight or did SNL really suck? Hopefully, it was just me.

Perfect Stranger

I wanna hear Oprah say, "My guest today is Halle Berry and her latest movie is another stinker just like Catwoman and Gothika. Halle, I love ya but you sure do make some crappy movies!"

But it's not just Halle, Perfect Stranger features the worst collection of performances ever assembled in one film. It's not filled with bad actors just bad acting. Save Bruce Willis, every performance is dreadful. And actually, the worst offender is the once-promising and not-untalented Giovanni Ribisi who continues his depressing slide into hammy self-indulgence. Is this the same actor who was so spot on in Saving Private Ryan and Lost in Translation. Watch the abysmal film Basic where Ribisi plays a gay soldier? His performance ranks with Carey Elwes in Saw and James Franco in Annapolis as the one of the worst screen performances of all time. But anyway, back to the ironically titled Perfect Stranger or as I call it, Perfect Shit.

I blame the director and casting people cause even the cameos and extras suck. So many tiny roles performed so badly. Bruce Willis is fine; I always like Bruce Willis. Halle Berry isn't completely awful but after Catwoman and Gothika I truly question her judgement in picking directors and scripts. To be fair to the writer, this script might have worked OK with a different cast and a different director but we'll never know for sure.

The more I think about the plot none of it really makes sense. For instance, Bruce Willis plays a famous New Yorker cheating on his wife (this is in the trailers) and we're told he goes out of his way to keep it hidden but then we've got scenes of him making out with Halle Berry in fancy New York restaurants so maybe we should blame the writer. Who knows? I just lost 2 hours of my life to this pile of shit and I don't want to give it another moment of my time.

PS My spellcheck just said I have no misspellings but I bet a good editor can find 10 or 15. Carolyn? Have at it!

More About Grindhouse

Grindhouse was really not necessary. If you think about it, the concept of the Grindhouse never really went away. Each week our cineplexes are filled with crappy, disposable, exploitation junk; junk that I readily buy tickets to, I admit. So what is this nostalgia for the past when the past is still the present. To succeed, the Grindhouse movies by Tarantino and company would've had to be head and shoulders above the current crop of Grindhouse films; The Hills Have Eyes 2, Disturbia, Perfect Stranger, The Reaping, Shooter, Pathfinder, Slow Burn, Red Line, etc.

And another thing, Grindhouse has completely died in its second weekend; it won't even be in the top 10. This indicates, to me, that positive word of mouth for this film just ain't happening.

PS I am sooooo excited to see Perfect Stranger and Disturbia.

Grammar Girl

I'm occasionally criticised by a few of you for my reluctance to spellcheck. Sometimes spell-checking in Blogger screws up the formatting but I've found a way to prevent that so I intend to spellcheck more and more. Spellcheck doesn't catch everything though so it's doubtful this blog will ever be typo free but I'm aware of my short-comings and awareness really is the first step to recovery. I hope this doesn't sound defensive but I'm not a horrible speller I just type very quickly with one finger and I'm a very bad proofreader. But I want to be better. I really do.

And helping me in my quest to be a better blogger is the amazing Grammar Girl. She has a podcast I listen to on the treadmill and I'm trying to retain a few of her tidbits. For instance, she taught me how to use a semi-colon; I'd never really used one before I listened to her. A semicolon is used to join two different but connected thoughts in one sentence; I hope I'm right about that. LOL.

So I'm introducing you all to my new friend, Grammar Girl. I hope you like her.

Click here for the Grammar Girl Podcast and Website.

Deuce

The knives are out for Angela Lansbury's return to Broadway. Super-successful playwright, Terrence McNally, who once sent me a postcard and who I greatly admire for being so prolific, has a new play called Deuce about two aging Tennis stars. I won't be seeing it cause I'm not in New York right now and also because, well, I hate going to plays. I do, however, read the theatre message boards and the New York theatre chatters are being ruthless. The play is only in previews but that hasn't stopped people from tearing the whole enterprise to shreds. I've never seen all the "chatters" so aligned and I've never seen such unanimous brutality aimed at one play.

Here's a collection of the brutality:

"There are serious talks going on about closing Deuce before opening night. Everyone backstage knows the play's a dud and Angela doesn't want to go out with a flop. It's been suggested the show close in order to take time off for major rewrites then open again in the fall. However, I doubt the show will ever open." Posted by twsct
___

It is an awful play. It's not a play. You wait and wait and there's nothing there-no big revelation--no subtext--no secrets--no conflict...no payoff for spending 100 minutes with characters you don't give a hoot about. A testament to Ms. Seldes and Ms. Lansbury is that I was still paying attention. The woman next to me paid a lot of money for a nap. I wasn't concerned about them not knowing lines, more that they were forced to say those lines." Posted by Skrigs
___

"To the Producers of Deuce:

If you are reading this board (which you should be), please close this show as soon as possible. It would be a great embarrassment to you, your supremely talented cast, your playwright and all others involved to let this play be ravaged by critics. I've seen a wealth of plays in my day and have never seen a play that has amounted to less that what is currently on stage at the Music Box Theater. In the grand tradition of Broadway, let this play be one that the few who had the chance to see only really know how bad it was, while others speculate, bring to legendary status and long for a revival in a decade or more.

Sincerely,
Your Friend" Posted by Pocket
_____

It really makes one nostalgic for producing plays in the pre-internet era. Have a good Saturday night! Posted by Ronnie

It's Friday the 13th!!! Scary!

Over the next few days I'll be turning this blog into a 3 column blog. I'm very excited about it but formatting might be screwed up for a day or two. I already did it on a practice blog and it worked very well so hopefully this transition will be smooth as well. Have a great weekend. I'm really looking forward to seeing Perfect Stranger and Disturbia; it's a weekend of thrills and thrillers.

Loser of the Week

I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said but this whole situation is frightening and disgusting. I feel sorry for EVERYONE involved except Nifong. I hope Nifong becomes a lesson to prosecutors nationwide. Don't rush to judgement, motherfuckers! Remember, you need a little thing called EVIDENCE!

Grindhouse

I've seen the thrilling Kill Bill films numerous times and I loved them so much I wanted all the characters to have their own spin-off films. The Grindhouse films had the opposite effect; I just didn't care that much. I didn't hate them, I just wasn't that interested. After 30 minutes the gimmick got old and I was struck by the fact they spent about 60 million making two "bad low-budget films." There's a saying in the theatre, "Satire is what closes on Saturday night." Audiences are smarter than they get credit for and I think the box office failure of these films is owed to the fact that people figured out, early on, that the movies are basically a satirical tribute to bad films; not a great selling point. I did not hate, I repeat, I did not hate these films but they did leave me cold and can't imagine wanting to see them again.

On a side note: Richard Roeper from Ebert and Roeper called Grindhouse the "most anticipated movie of the year.' They said the same thing about Snakes on a Plane. So here's my question, if these movies are so "anticipated" why do the anticipators not show up opening weekend? Wild Hogs and 300 are the biggest hits of the year so far and I don't think ANYBODY anticipated that! In fact, I know not one person who has actually seen Wild Hogs.

Do I look like Lance Armstrong?

Dear Mr. Obama,

I'm still waiting for you to say something substantive. I often see you on TV but you never say anything. You sure are charming and intelligent but you haven't given me a reason to support you. Do you have any specific ideas or plans because I'm tired of your sweeping generalities.

"The war is bad." "Bush is bad." Education and health care are important." Politicians should be nice to each other."

Listening to you is like listening to one of those wind-up dolls with the string hanging out of it's back. "Blue is my favorite color. I love mommy. Candy is good."

Tell me something real. If elected, what are you gonna do? I want specifics, dammit!

Don Imus is sooooo boring.

Imus says racist and homophobic things all the time. He doesn't offend me because I'm not offended by mumbling old geezers. I am, however, offended by MSNBC for suspending him; they should either fire him or leave him alone. Giving him a two week vacation/suspension is silly and condescending. CBS should just come out and say the truth, "Imus is an asshole but he makes us a lot of money and even though we don't really like him we love the money he makes us so if you don't like his hateful comments get over it or change the fucking channel but we ain't gonna fire him til we find something more lucrative to replace him with. So there!"

This is news to me...

"Before the cremation, Princeton Hospital pathologist Thomas Stoltz Harvey removed Einstein's brain for preservation, in hope that the neuroscience of the future would be able to discover what made Einstein so intelligent."

I had no idea they preserved his brain. Fascinating.

To read about more Einstein and his brain click here.

My Mother The Car

37 years ago my Mom gave me this balloon for Easter and today she gave me a shiny remote control car. Actually the car was a Christmas present from about 5 years ago but I finally took it out of it's package this afternoon. My parents were kind enough to include batteries and as I was putting them in I became overwhelmed with emotion. In some small way, I felt like I was bringing my mother back to life. I turned it on and the revving of the wheels comforted me. I drove it around my driveway and the neighbor kid said, "My mom drives better than you." I continued driving the car, thinking about the life and death of my mother and the profound sense of loss I carry everyday. I'm angry that my mother spent much of her life in suffering and died so young but today my mother was resurrected in the form of a remote control car so it was a happy Easter after all.

Bunnies and Zombies

When did Easter turn into Memorial Day weekend? The gym was totally empty on Saturday though it was fun watching the rabbits play on the grass outside the gym while on the treadmill. My gym sits high on a hill and has big windows with a lovely view and lots
of rabbits and squirrels play on the grass outside. But anyway, I thought Easter was a holiday that lasted about 4 hours on Sunday morning. When I was a kid we woke up, got our baskets, ate candy and then went to church, just like we did on every other Sunday. But this weekend it seems to be a big getaway holiday weekend! So to celebrate Easter and the concept of resurrection I'm going to see the zombie flick, Grindhouse.

My Favorite Easter Egg!

Self Portrait

About 4 years ago I made this at a glass place on my best friend birthday. You arrange the glass then they melt it or burn it, I'm not sure, but anyway...weeks later you get your creation in the mail. My wife, lol, wanted to keep mine and last week she had it framed. I guess she still loves me after all these years.

So here is my self-portait, framed, and ready to be displayed.

I miss Roger Ebert. I really do.

I love Roger Ebert. He truly loves movies and his criteria for judging a movie tends to be did the movie succeed at what it was trying to do. He judges every movie against itself. Get well, Mr. Ebert. I miss you.
Ebert: Despite setbacks, I am feeling better every day :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Movies

Blades of Glory

Loved the costumes and the skating routines and I've always found Will Ferrell to be extremely likable but ultimately this movie is another example of a full length film with only about 25 minutes worth of plot and material. After 30 minutes I felt like I had seen the whole thing. I felt the exact same thing at Talledegah Nights and Elf. Will Ferrell might make a great comedy one day but he hasn't yet.

Dear Sheryl Crow,

Did you really say this about American Idol?

"Let’s face it, it undermines art in every way and promotes commercialism, I am sad people love it so."

Are you kidding me? I went to the movies today and spent 5 minutes watching you promote some Clairol-product-tie-in with your current tour. Are you not aware you are currently starring in a commercial? I'm curious how you reconcile your comment about AI and you're own commercialism.

I guess every day really is a winding road.

Hugs!

Ronnie

Girls & Toilet Seats!

A male friend sent this to me today and I must say, I agree. I've understood this constant female complaining about toilet seats. When I use a toilet I consider it my job to get the seat ready by either putting it up, putting it down or making sure it's clean! What's the big deal, ladies???

"Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

"

Dear Bret, (whoever you are)

I always enjoy reading your comments about movies, unfortunately I won't be seeing Reign Over Me because the trailers kind of creep me out. The whole AdamSandler-as-Bob Dylan-thing sort of strikes me as strange. I admire Adam Sandler and I find him very likable in interviews but he's never made a movie I personally enjoyed (Waterboy)or wanted to see (Click, Reign Over Me). I saw Waterboy on cable and I was shocked that it was a hit movie. I liked the premise of Click but I didn't want to actually see it.

I rarely, almost never go to comedies or simple character studies. I need plot and action. Even a movie like The Queen felt action-packed and full of interesting plot movements but Reign Over Me just strikes me as a movie about "two people learning to live." I'll pass. Am I really missing something?

PS Did you like Zodiac? I'm seeing Blades of Glory, today. Tuesday is free popcorn day here in our little town of Oceanside. Can't wait!

PPS Bret, do you have a blog? I would read yours; you seem to have much to say

Finally, I heard Don Cheadle is so rich he has an elevator in his house. I have a friend who's been to his mansion. Whenever I see Don Cheadle now I picture him in his elevator.

Sounds good to me!

Act Your Age

Note: I wrote this blog last year on April 13th at 8:17 PM. I'm not sure why I never published it but I'm doing lots of spring cleaning so I'm publishing it now. I have about 20 unpublished blog entries I'm gonna either delete or publish this week.


In college when I was 20 years old I had two serious relationships with two older men. When I say older I mean one was over twice my age (CM) and another was 30 years older (a puppeteer...how ironic). I had a great time with both men and they both taught me lots and they both wanted long term committments. One even quit his job to build a life with me. Oh Lord!

I lost interest in both of these relationships and I drifted away. I never really ended them I just sort of disappeared. That's how I remember it. Both men told me I had hurt them and one even said to me, "Wow, I really thought you were mature but now you're really showing your age." Ouch. I've never forgotten that.

For many years I carried guilt about the way those relationships ended and then about three months ago I had a major revelation:

50 year olds who date 20 year olds and then get hurt when the 20 year old moves on are total fucking idiots. What kind of person is a 40 year old who wants to date a 20 year old??? Honestly! If you're dating a 20 year old and you're 25 years older and you put expectations on that person, you need to have your head examined.

I can not believe I carried that guilt for all these years. I actually think I'm owed an apology.

Letting go of guilt is a wonderful thing.

If the two men who "I hurt" happen to stumble upon this blog, feel free to e-mail me an apology. And if any of you reading this are over 40 and obsessed with someone half your age, I beg you to let go and/or get help. And Lord, I beg you, don't ever let me fall in love with someone 20 years younger than myself.

Jakes Outline

It looks thick, don't ya think?

NYC Cam Phone: Boot Dog

I took this pic in New York. So gay.

Love/Hate

According to Google search trends, there's not a thin line between love and hate. People are much more interested in love than hate. I think that's very good news.

The Lookout

Oh my god! There is a great performance in this film by a great actor named Matthew Goode. He's not the lead but he plays the main villain (for lack of a better word). I sat there watching him thinking, "wow, this guy is so good." After checking him on IMDB I realized he's the actor in Match Point, not the male lead but the other male, the rich-upper-class-British one. After watching these two films I'm blown away by the versatility of Matthew Goode. Remember that name: Matthew Goode.

All the actors in The Lookout give extremely excellent performances but Matthew Goode steals the movie and when you compare it with the work he did in Match Point...well he's just very impressive.

And I'm not sure why but the tone of this film reminded me A History of Violence, another strong film with complicated characters. Both movies are plot driven (which I love) but they also have fascinating characters and interesting dialogue. A friend told me today he won't see movies based on my recommendations because I like shitty movies and it's true, I love shitty movies but this movie has, deservedly, gotten very good reviews across the board so go see it and pay attention to the actor who plays Gary Spargo and as you're watching, remind yourself that he's actually British. Or better yet, watch Match Point and then watch The Lookout.

Shooter

I really liked this movie, ALOT! It's a great companion piece to Hills Have Eyes 2. It's another film about patriots battling monsters. Great action, very suspenseful, good acting. And I saw it in a theater packed with Marines and at one point a character does a speech about Bush and the lies he told about WMD's and for a few moments I felt uncomfortable for the audience of these men who signed up to serve the government and are now watching a movie about how corrupt that government is. It was an interesting experience.

Dead Silence

Ventriloquist puppets can be scary but they aren't scary in this movie. The lead actor is beautiful though so I enjoyed it.

The Hills Have Eyes 2

This is the only film I've loved so far in 2007. I literally jumped out of my seat about 10 times. It's a million times better than the first one and it works on many levels. It's a complete metaphor for the war in Iraq. It involves a bunch of young and ill-equipped American military personnel sent to the desert to do a simple job and in the process they get ambushed by a bunch of crazy inhuman creatures. And the violence is hardcore; I have no idea idea why this isn't rated NC-17. I loved this film. If you like scary horror and war movies and political commentary you will LOVE this film.