If a "friend" of yours heard, over a month ago, that a sick person was going to try to hurt you and the "friend" didn't tell you cause they didn't think the sick person would actually go thru with it. AND when you ask the friend if the sick person had said anything and the friend repeatedly said, "no." And then the sick person actually does go thru with it a month later, a month after they mentioned it to the friend...could you, would you still have anything to do with that "friend" again? That's a question I'm dealing with it.
I don't believe the "friend" withheld the information maliciously I just think the "friend" is basically a coward and doesn't like to get involved in things that might cost him anything. But, really, how can you build a serious relationship with a coward.
I believe fear is one of, if not, the MOST destructive thing on this planet. Greed is the child of fear. We fear not having things so we get more crap we don't need, we fear silence so we fill it up with noise; shopping, clutter, entertainment. War is the child of fear. Most relationship problems grow out of fear. I know lots of married men living in fear that their wives might find out who they really are. It's sad. Why get married if you aren't willing to share your life completely? What's the point?
Money is not the root of all evil, FEAR is. We run from what we fear, we destroy what we fear, we embrace our fears and live with them and our fears eat away at us. We must of try to understand our fears, conquer them and live free of them.
I'm trying my best not to live a fear-based life though I'm not always successful. But I know I'm not really interested in having cowards in my life. So...it's a dilemma.
More about fear...
I'm sure this sounds crazy but I see alot less fear in Mexico than I do in the states. Poverty doesn't always equal fear. In fact I think the more we have the more fear we have; fear of losing our stuff. For instance I have a million books, mostly theatre-related. I never read them anymore. I never use them. But I hold on to them. Why? I'm afraid to get rid of them. They are my history in a way. I've collected them over the years. And when people see them they think I might be smart, lol. I'm afraid to let them go but they are just clutter now. Nothing I own is out of print. I can get any book I need overnight via the internet so why can't I let them go? I'm afraid I'll regret it. I'm afraid I'll miss them. Fear. It always comes back to fear. My possessions are mostly the result of fear, fear of letting go. Fear of living simply. What do I really need? My laptop. My photos. My phone. A few clothes. My car. I want to get rid of most of my possessions but I'm afraid of letting go. Things in boxes stored under the bed? What's the point? DVD's I never watch. CD's I never listen to. Clothes I never wear. Letters I'll never re-read. So much stuff! So much fear.
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