Two Dead Clowns: Chapter 1 is over

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!"

So this guy pursues me and my website for a month wanting us to take over his bar/restaurant for a night once a week and do an event.

So I propose doing a play from 7-8:30 and then a drag show from 9-12.

We meet a bunch of times, hammer out all the details. He says, "Whatever you need, whatever you need. It's your night.

Then the day comes to set up and we get there and nothing had been set up the way we talked about. His helpers were 2 hours late. I knew right away this wasn't gonna work because he clearly, even though we met repeatedly, he clearly didn't understand the concept of theatre and that you have to actually be in early and rehearse, etc.

So finally we get the play set up, people are arriving and about 10 of his regular patrons are in the back at the bar drinking and laughing and talking loudly. We stupidly assumed this would stop once the play began. We told him repeatedly that it had to be dead-quiet while the play was performed.

The restaurant is a big long place. The stage is at one end and the bar is way down at the other end.

So we start the play and they don't shut up at the back. And I see my tech person keep running back to tell them to be quiet and they just ignore her. And this goes on for 15 minutes til finally I stop the play and yell as loudly as possibly, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

The security guard (who is hired, by the bar, to work OUR event) says you can't talk that way to people." I say, "Then shut up. We've asked you nicely for the last hour."

So we go get the owner and he asks if we can talk outside and basically he wants to know how we can compromise.

COMPROMISE???

I remind him that we agreed it has to be dead quiet and then he says, "but I can't tell my customers to shut up."

So I say, "Fine, there's no play. This will never work."

He says, "But can we compromise, somehow?"

"Compromise how????? Have you ever been to a play? Or a movie? You can't have people talking during a performance."

I wasn't even that angry at this point, it was more like I just realized the absurdity of trying to make this work. The thing that angered me the most was that he pursued us. He said he was willing to do what it took to make this thing work. And then when it came time to deliver he didn't.

So Two Dead Clowns was performed for 15 minutes. And my friend snapped a photo of me stopping and yelling, "Shut the fuck up!"

And this is the truth. I've been onstage constantly since I was a kid. I have never been in a situation where I couldn't hear the words coming out of my mouth. It was a totally surreal experience. Imagine doing a play in a living room while a super bowl party is going on in the kitchen. Impossible.

Now if I'm gonna talk truthfully about Two Dead Clowns I have to own my part of this. It is a much more complex play than I thought. The line-load is huge. The voices are difficult. It needed 10 minutes of cuts, etc. I have never felt so unprepared before to perform. It's just a massive undertaking and the time off has allowed me to breathe, re-examine it, make cuts, memorize, work on the voices, etc. It's just much harder than I had anticipated.

I'm currently looking for a new venue and schedule for the show. I believe in it more than ever and I'm incredibly excited about it and I'm very grateful about having that original start date cause it motivated me to get on with it even though things didn't go as planned. And I'm excited knowing this won't happen again because the next time it will be in a theatre.

So that's Two Dead Clowns in San Diego, Chapter 1.

We are ready for the next Chapter.

Ronnie

My 1991 Honda Accord is Gone!

I need a car. Does anyone have an extra car sitting around??? Anybody own a car dealership???

On Friday night my car was stolen. I arrived home from San Diego. Parked outside the house. Went in. Hung out with Melqui for an hour before going to dinner and when we went outside an hour later the car was gone.

It happened on Friday but I'm only talking about it today cause I've literally been in shock for the last two days. Not angry shock or sad shock...just...I just can't believe it's gone. It was stolen once before in SF but I got it back.

Honestly, the car was being destroyed in Tijuana. The streets here are horrible. The potholes are deep like craters. I've seen cars get stuck in Tijuana potholes. The drivers in Mexico are not good. They ignore traffic signals and signs. You never know if you're in a one-lane, two-lane, or three-lane road. It's a free-for-all. No one has insurance.

You park, go in a store, come out and there's a huge dent in your side.

A month ago someone hit Melqui while he was parked.

I could go on and on. This car would not have survived another year in Mexico. It's sad, but true.

And I'm grateful I got as much as I did out of it. 20 years and 350,000 miles. It was in very good condition before coming to Mexico. The mechanics couldn't believe how many miles it had and some said they thought I would get to 500,000 miles and more. Caryn Horwitz, my long term friend, biz partner, ex-wife, bought the car 20 years ago, brand new. Who would've thought 20 years later I'd still be driving it.

But it's gone and I'm sure it's in a million pieces by now.

The hardest part is that I loved that car. People would ask if I wanted a new car and truthfully, I didn't. I wanted that car to keep running perfectly.

I travelled all over the country in that car. Had countless crazy adventures. I feel like I've lost my diary. Or a scrapbook. I feel like I've lost a friend. One

So now, here I am in Mexico, with no car. Melqui walked to work today. Yesterday, Melqui and I rode on a bus that was so rundown it was comical. They call them Calafia's. I'll take a photo an post it on the blog or Facebook.

I need to find a very tough, strong truck, van or suv, I think. I hope to start touring again and traveling, and it would be great to have something with storage. I don't know. My favorite car I ever rode in, besides my Honda, were the those 1970 vans with swivel seats, carpeting and tables...lol...like moving hotel rooms...my friend Cameron Parsons had one and I loved it.

So I don't know what I'm gonna do. But that's the news.

Adios 1991 Honda Accord. I miss you so much! Nothing lasts forever.

Petco Park Protest

I'm seeing a Padres game tonight in San Diego and so far the best part
are the protesters outside protesting the AZ Diamondbacks. I love
angry people! Reminds me of a family reunion or a rehearsal of one of
my plays.

Strangers on a Train

I'm actually enjoying not driving today. There are some super freaky
people on public transportarion.

Happiness is an empty e-mail inbox!

I finally answered all my e-mail! Yay! It always makes me feel so happy.

Great line in the NY Times!

"You can study Islam at virtually any American university, but you can't even build a one-room church in Saudi Arabia." Thomas Friedman

Inception Twice

Just saw Inception for the second time. Can't decide if I like it more or less? It does make me think more about dreams though so I like that aspect. Last night I dreamt I was hanging out with Kim Kardashian's mom and we were talking all about Kim and her life and her problems and this is the truth, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT KIM K. Never seen her show, never read an article about her, nada. But there she is in my dreams. Why???????????? The night before I dreamt I was in prison with Halle Berry and she had a kit delivered that helped her turn herself in to a man and she swapped herself with her attorney so she could break out. I hate dreaming about celebs. It makes me feel dirty. I especially hate dreaming about celebs I don't care about.